| My Faith Is Like...
  Shifting Sand by Caedmon's Call
 
 Sometimes I believe all the lies
 So I can do the things I should despise
 And every day I am swayed
 By whatever is on my mind
 
 I hear it all depends on my faith
 So I'm feeling precarious
 The only problem I have with these mysteries I
 s they're so mysterious
 
 And like a consumer I've been thinking
 If I could just get a bit more
 More than my 15 minutes of faith,
 Then I'd be secure
 
 (Chorus)
 My faith is like shifting sand
 Changed by every wave
 My faith is like shifting sand
 So I stand on grace
 
 I've begged you for some proof
 For my Thomas eyes to see
 A slithering staff, a leprous hand
 And lions resting lazily
 
 A glimpse of your back-side glory
 On this soaked altar going ablaze
 But you know I've seen so much
 I explained it away
 
 Waters rose as my doubts reigned
 My sand-castle faith, it slipped away
 Found myself standing on your grace
 It'd been there all the time
 
 Stand on grace
 
 I just can't think of anything to write. I feel so tired, emotionally... School's up again and I'm having a lot of doubts as this sem make its way. I'm still traumatized by what happened last sem and I'm having a hard time accepting the truth that I might be delayed for graduation. But in all of these things, I always ask God what He's trying to say. I believe that everything happens for a purpose and it's for me to find out what it is.
 
 But there's one thing I realized just lately about my relationship with my friends. I realized that I've been putting barriers between me and my friends after that dreadful day, when I was deprived of the assurance of friendship. And now, I'm having a hard time breaking those barriers. I've been wounded a lot last sem and with this kind of faith, I feel like I might fall anytime. Things would be different and I'm so much afraid of what might come out of my decision to not trust anyone, even the one closest to you because they're the one who would really hurt you.
 Labels: Caedmon's call, emotions, God's will, trauma- Gian 
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