all the world's a stage!!!

My 100th Entry In This Blog/(What God Is Trying To Say?)

11:57 PM, Friday, March 03, 2006 | Link to this post |

Gosh!!! I left my Playshop tumbler somewhere in Eng'g. I can't recall if I've left it at the tambayan (CCC or Eng'gSoc), at the ES computer lab or at the CR (Yikes!!!). Hope I'll be able to find it tomorrow. I just remembered that I've lost it when I got home, opened the refrigerator and saw no Playshop tumbler. So sad!!! I've had had a lot of memories with that tumbler.
So much for that, let's now proceed to the next chapter of Memory Lane 101. (What a nice joke!!! Harharhar!!!)

I don't know what God is trying to tell me with all the things that happened to me today. I wasn't able to do the song leading for the praise and worship because of that super-mega mind-boggling ES 26 exam. I took the exam for almost 4 hours (3pm-7pm) while worrying what might be happening at the Movement Life (ML). While taking the exam, I realized that it would take a longer time for me to finish it so I texted Ate Shie, Ate Leeloo, and Kuya Julius that I won't be able to make it to the praise and worship. I told them to look for another song leader. You know, it was the worst feeling in the whole wide world! I can't concentrate on my exam because I keep on thinking what are they gonna say to me afterward and what are they gonna do. I was so anxious at the same time frustrated. I should have decided to give the song leading job to somebody else since I knew in the first place that there is a chance for me of being late in that activity.

Thanks to Ate Karla for doing the job. I really appreciate her for that. Praise God for her passion in serving Him through her voice.

Actually, I was asked by Ate Shie ever since last last Monday to lead the praise and worship team for Friday's ML. I feel so excited about that at the same time, nervous since it would be the first time that I'm gonna do it. I would always want to experience song leading since I can make good use of my voice for the Lord. I immediately considered doing the job since our prof in ES 26 didn't schedule an exam or a machine exercise for that day. So I thought it was perfect timing. I asked some people (Leah and Neil) to give me songs about faith and identity in Christ. (Thanks to Leah for her suggestions and to Neil for the copy of the songs and chords.) Viv and Kuya Djames were my bandmates. We practiced 3 songs (Who Am I?, Now That You're Near, One Desire) Thursday night after Stillwaters Thursday Community Fellowship at the Student Center. It was kinda rush but it ended well. The next day, which was supposedly the day I've been waiting for, classes were suspended because of the current political crisis. I was so frustrated because I only slept for 3 hours to prepare for a group report in ME 41. But I think I should thank God for that because our group might have ended up saying the wrong things to the class. There's a worse part though, the ML was postponed. So, I wasn't able to do the song leading. But it didn't bother me since I was quite assured that I can do it on the next ML and we have more time for practice. Then Friday came again (which was this very day). Viv and I meet with each other at the CCC tambayan to practice a new song in our line-up (Give Us Clean Hands). The practice went well. It's just that I wasn't able to see the fruit of my efforts since I didn't make it to the ML...

I thought that I'm a 'double-failure' since I didn't finish my ES 26 exam and I wasn't able to do the song leading. It was so sad... very sad indeed. I came to the student center with a heavy heart. Good Paulo was there and he noticed me feeling so uneasy. Then I told him everything and he's just so eager to listen and he gave me some words of advice through his personal experiences and Bible verses. I learned from him that we shouldn't give up if we knew that we came to the point where we can say that we've had enough, instead surrender everything to God and agree with Him that you are limited and you have weaknesses. Another thing is the verse which says 'Cast all your cares upon Him 'coz He cares for you!' (I'm paraphrasing) These are just a few of the things that we've talked about during that little time at the Student Center after the ML. Thanks Paulo for your care. I appreciate it so much. I wanna thank God for you.
What do you think God is trying to say to me today? Does He want me to give up song leading and concentrate on other things? I don't know since I do not want to depend on my own feelings.

- Gian