Memory Lane

Make Time For It

2011-02-27T06:42:00.000-08:00

'I think I was really born to do theater.' Every time I say that phrase to myself, I feel like a loser. Why? Because up until now, I'm still struggling to do the thing that I really love. A few of my 'theater peers' have gone a long way. Some of them doing professional theater productions in different theater companies. I can't help it but sometimes, or most of the time, I feel a sense of bitterness. 'I should have been there.' 'I should have auditioned for that play.' 'I can do that role better.' These thoughts come crashing as I see them grace the stage, update their Facebook statuses, and upload their rehearsal pics.

'Oh come on, dude! You can do it! You just have to spend some TIME for it!' Voila! The magic word! TIME!!! That 4-letter word which seems to be an old cliche whenever people lose hope on the things that they want to do. If you live only 24 hours each day, a third of that time is spent working in the corporate world, a sixth for boring bus and train rides, and another third for sleeping, I only have 4 hours to spare to do the things that I love. The point is, in my case, I really have a difficulty making TIME to do theater and all that jazz. Add the fact that being in a corporate world is so stressful that all you want to do after work is to sleep and never open that freaking work email upon arriving at home. I live 2-hours away from Manila and that's another 'stress point.' I don't have much freedom to try out or audition for different theater productions because of this distance. There are theater companies that would really require you to work full time and sometimes, on a shifting sked (no night shifts please). So if I really want to do theater, I have to resign from my present job and spend time rehearsing and going to auditions and workshops. Really hard thing to do especially if your job gives you a stable source of income. Oh, did I say that theater doesn't promise a good and stable source of income? Another dilemma that needs to be addressed. I think there are no other options, it's 'either... or.'

Wait, it seems like doing theater is more of a complication than a heart-fulfilling act. I'm beginning to act as if I'm not really sure if that's what I really want. THAT'S NOT GOOD because it turns out that I'm solving a hardcore Physics problem, not fulfilling a dream. I have lots of if's and but's. Before, I used to tell myself that I want to do theater as a 'sideline' and work in a multinational company as a full-fledged engineer. I just wanted to do theater as a hobby. But I realized that I'm not really into the hardcore engineering stuff. Things started to change and it became the other way around. I aspired to be a full-fledged theater actor and do engineering as a sideline.

I think of all these things not knowing that I'm wasting a lot of my TIME. Again, that 4-letter word. I would spend more time ranting, sometimes blaming people than getting myself to act. It's like I'm waiting in vain for the universe to conspire for me to be on stage, to sing and dance to Broadway showtunes. I realized that it doesn't happen just like that. Yesterday, I read a quote from a devotional book that says, 'Don't just sit around waiting for things to happen.' I realized that I'm not doing much to fulfill this lifelong dream. I think more of my limitations than the things that I can do. I dwell more on the if's and but's than exploring avenues to hone my talents as an artist.

I hope and pray that in the coming days, I would be more willing and active to pursue theater. A friend once told me that I have to PRIORITIZE my passions. It made a lot of sense to me, really. I think most people have failed to pursue their dreams because they have given up or they set their dreams aside to do their other 'responsibilities.' They decided to stick to the status quo and be confined in a box. I don't want to be one of them. I want to let my desire grow and see it bear fruit. I want to fuel my passion. I want my heart come fully alive for my God, my Creator. I know I can only hope for what I desire but as long as I keep my eyes and if I can see my dreams being fulfilled, my heart is on the right track. I'm 100% sure that God planted this seed in my heart and He wants me to do my job, to make it grow, cultivate it, and let it bear fruit. I should rather MAKE TIME rather than find time for it.

I Don’t Know What I Really Want

2010-10-31T07:31:00.000-07:00

Great! I miss blogging so much. These past few days, I’m thinking of taking blogging to the next level. Being in the corporate world is quite toxic. I think I have to put a little more color in my life today by being involved in the ‘blogging business.’

Last Friday, quite accidentally (for a lack of a better term) I was able to attend an awarding ceremony of some sort after work. The speaker was Mr. Ed Pilapil, an executive coach, an employee trainer, and public speaker. He was a great speaker indeed. With his overflowing charisma, I can’t help it but to take in every word that he says. I don’t want to miss this opportunity. He discussed 5 or 6 points with regards to how to live your life as a professional or as a person of this world at least. (I can’t remember all actually. My apologies.) First would be love your work, which all of the attendees have a hard time saying by heart. Another one is to live your dreams, or something close to that. I have big dreams not just for myself but for my family as well. Mr. Pilapil in a way encouraged each one of us to chase after our dreams be it skydiving or making a music album. Another point that he discussed is investing in relationships be it at work, with family, or with friends. He said that we don’t have to spread ourselves to thinly especially when dealing with a lot of friends. It would be wiser to concentrate on a chosen few who would stick with you for a long time, or for forever. Makes sense right? So I’m kinda tempted to elaborate about this more because I’m in a struggle of some sort with regards to this. But I think I have to shut my mouth for now.

Going back to what I really want to share, Mr. Pilapil shared another point and that is to be wise with money. We should invest more on things that increases value rather than the ones that decreases. The scenario that he gave us was investing on a cellphone versus investing on jeweleries. Cellphones decrease their value 2 or three years after purchase. Jeweleries, I mean the authentic ones, won’t decrease value over the years (not really sure about this fact but this is how I understand what he said). So who cares for a nice cellphone if you have nice jeweleries? He also shared a story about a girl who loves fashion and started earning money through her fashion blog. It came from a simple hobby to a serious business. I started thinking, hmmmm… I wanna do that but what am I gonna write? What do I really love? What are my dreams? Where do I want to invest my money? These thoughts came crashing in and I said ‘it won’t be that easy. Why? Though I really have a lot of interests and they can be very good blog topics, I can’t exactly point out what I really want or what is my top 1. Add the fact that being a jack of all trades is my mantra. I might be spreading myself too thinly.

I love music but I’m not familiar with some genres. I love the performing arts but I’m still an amateur. I love photography but I don’t have a camera of my own. Come to think of it, all these problems actually have simple solutions but still, I have to think again if this is what I really want before diving in. Ang hirap naman! I guess, this really should take some time before being finalized. Thinking about the feasibility would be harder than doing the real business. And if I’m really serious about this, I might shell out a lot of money. Yikes! Imagine how much a camera alone would cost. Music education is not just for pure entertainment but also for pure intellect. Performance workshops can be so expensive and demanding. Well, If I am really serious about this, I should be ready to face these challenges. And more importantly, I should be able to choose one that I really love, one that I wanna do for the rest of my life, and one that would keep me and my future family alive. Of course, this is business. We want a lot of money! Haha!

But still, I don’t know what exactly it is that I want.

Crossing My Boundaries - My OJ Story

2010-04-08T07:24:00.000-07:00

I've heard it said that man seeks pleasure more than anything else. Being a conformist (for a lack of a better term), I can easily attest that I do seek pleasure through different things (but not to the point of being hedonistic as my Socio 10 professor would put it). It can be time well spent with friends and family, getting myself a cup of Starbucks before going to work, buying new stuff to add to my wardrobe, having a movie marathon with friends, and sleeping for more than 7 hours. It would take me a long while before I decide to sacrifice one of them.

A month ago, I was invited to join OJ Isabela. Actually, I really want to go since I haven't experienced OJ before (the closest I can get was Stillwaters' Hope: Aurora back in 2006). Also, I have more freedom now to fix my schedule for those kinds of activities. I want to experience once how to be a CCC mover once again.

For one whole month, I'm struggling with a lot of personal issues. I started thinking twice whether I would still go or not because 1.) I don't want to spend that sum of money (I wasn't able to raise support), 2.) I would rather take a break, spend time with my family at home than bathe in the scorching heat of the summer sun, 3.) I find it hard to file a leave at work because I have to give my boss a good justification for that, and the list goes on. I want pleasure and comfort more than anything else. These excuses discouraged me to go but God is trying to tell me something through these things.

Part of my struggle would be spending time with God and knowing Him deeper. I'm still in the process of finding my real purpose in life. I keep on asking God what He wants me to do. A soul-searching of some sort. The hustle and bustle of the city won't bring any help. At last, a good reason for me to go! I realized 'Hey! It might be a great time to ask God about my purpose.' With that in mind, I told my parents that I would be out of town on Holy Week for OJ, which was surprisingly just fine with them. Done with step 1.

After getting permission from my parents, I decided to sacrifice a part of my savings for the registration fee. Praise God for 'brutally' teaching me how not to spend much prior to the said event. But the battle within me became greater. I started thinking of the things that I can buy with that money. The devil started giving me pictures of false pleasures. But God is good. He made me realize that that sum of money is nothing compared to what He promised to me if I do anything according to His will. :)

Probably the hardest challenge that I encountered is filing a leave at work. Like what I said, I have to give good justification for that. Bahala na! I filed a leave for 3 days from March 29 to 31. Unfortunately, I was given new tasks to do during those dates. So I was kinda pissed off. My boss told me that I should be on the general assembly on the 30th since it's compulsory. So I thought she didn't approve of my 3-day leave. One workmate of mine told me that March 31 would be a holiday for us but if there are still unfinished jobs, some of us would still go to work. Thankfully, the late party of OJ delegates will leave on the night of March 30. After finding that out, I texted my boss and told her that I will be at work until the 30th and re-schedule my leave just on the 31st instead. She replied but it's not the answer that I'm looking for. But I've already decided to go to OJ even though we still have work on the 31st. March 29 came and surprisingly, the universe conspired and my boss gave me a go to leave by the 31st. Praise God! I'm already good to go. I was still able to attend the general assembly right before our scheduled departure.

We arrived at the campsite after almost 10 hours of travel (including some mishaps in the directions going there). I was told before that we will live inside tents, which is just fine for me. I wasn't able to bring my own beddings but thank God I got to stay in a big tent with some OJ delegates. The harder part would be taking a bath and/or doing doing number 2. We have to walk a few hundred meters to do our thing in a barangay hall which is still under construction. I'm out of my comfort zone indeed and that's what OJ is all about. Surprisingly, I find it kinda easy to adjust to the situation. Probably the result of pre-psyching myself that I'm gonna experience the worst. I crossed a boundary!

Upon arriving at the campsite, we were only given a little time to eat lunch and prepare for the community immersion. Yes, immersion in the community during lunchtime. Add the fact that Isabela is hardly hit by the El Nino Phenomenon (you are doomed if you don't have sunblock). Oh well, this is OJ. What do you expect? It's known for these kinds of stuff. :P But seeing the younger delegates enjoy the truck ride, I don't have any reason to complain. Besides, I signed up for this. I'm one of God's soldiers now.

I was quite surprised with my decision to join OJ. Why am I still so eager to go there and be out of my comfort zone? Why is sacrificing my job seemed easier just for me to attend this activity? I don't know the exact answer. But I know God is working in me.

I was able to share the Gospel on my first day there. Praise God for reminding me how to handle different responses. I was blessed by the enthusiasm of each one to go and reach out. The truck experience was great!. The last thing I had something like that was way back in LTI 2004. I was also able to walk 2 or 3 kilometers to invite people to watch the Jesus film. I got the chance to pray for the people we shared to and to the people who accommodated us in their homes. The Jesus film worked after a lot of technical difficulties with the DVD player. Hundreds of people were exposed to the Gospel through the film. The Living Waters sessions made me understand more about myself and about other people's struggles. The weather is too hot but it didn't stop us from going to the battlefield.

One of the highlights of this event is the commitment night. I like the way how Ate Coco led the night. I actually didn't make a commitment, I made a re-commitment because I lost my desire to reach out to people. I'm glad that God gave me an avenue to (once again) find my purpose in life and to re-direct me to where He wants me to be (because I've been taking a longer detour these past few years). I praise God because I was able to spend time with Him in a more deeper and unique way. God is asking me to give up false pleasures, free myself of some excess baggage and lay them all down at the foot of the cross. He wants me to realize that He did everything on the cross... just for me because He loves me. He wants me to wake up every morning in the warmth of His embrace. My life should all be about Him. God set my heart on fire once again.

Setting foot in Manila became much harder for me because I gotta go back to work the morning after our last day. Super sabaw mode! But praise God because I was able to work well even though I don't have a nice rest. I'm gonna miss Isabela. I met a lot of new movers from different schools and I had a great time with them. I saw with my own eyes how God worked 'for the good of those who love Him.'

I think the greater challenge is not being able to survive the not-so-pleasant conditions in OJ but facing our own lives after the event. OJ might be a fun thing to do for most of us but what matters most is our passion to reach out to our friends, families, workmates, and communities not just in these kinds of activities but also in any occasion. The real challenge begins right after OJ, and that is now.

At Last... And All That Jazz

2010-03-13T06:38:00.000-08:00

At last! It's my day-off today at work. Man I've been waiting for this day to come for quite some time now! First thing on the list is to hit the gym. Today, I have a new set of program to follow. It's my third month in the gym already and I haven't got any obvious improvement yet. Oh well, I have to blame myself for not going to sessions on a regular basis. Actually, I should have gotten that new program a month ago but due to some misunderstanding with the instructors and their job descriptions, I was the one who suffered the consequence, I'm one month late on my weight training stint. Anyway, I had a great time doing the workout earlier today. I'm kinda new to some weight training routines so most of the time, I can't complete a set. But the instructor said it's just fine to rest in between a set since I'm doing everything for the first time. My session today is a warm up so to say. Big thanks to my instructor who really took an effort to teach me the new routines all throughout the sessions, never leaves my side which is kinda irritating at times because he watches me do the routines. I hope to complete the sets for each routine on my next session.

At last the school year is over! I'm done doing test guides and straining my throat to teach students who sometimes doesn't listen. Oh my precious voice! Handling those kind of students was kinda tough but somehow challenging. I learned how to extend my patience and how to handle pressure. And I also learned how to have a great time doing work. Thanks to my workmates who chase those blues away. I can't believe that I was able to teach those students for one whole school year. Praise God I was able to pull it off! I can still remember when I was doing my thesis during the 1st sem. It kinda sucks working and doing school at the same time. But that part was saved by grace. I thought finishing my thesis would give me enough time to rest and make the most out of every tutorial session that I attend to. But my boss, after knowing that I already graduated gave me more workloads (not to mention a chance to get a "higher" compensation). What the heck!?! I think my workload tripled after and I wasn't able to feel the "higher" compensation that they promised. After realizing that, I started thinking of getting a new job. So I attended all the job fairs in town (that's an exaggeration). Up until now, I'm still looking for a job that would suit me. Preferably a full-time job that would give me much freedom to do the things that I want to. On the other hand, I have to review for my board exam starting May. I'm still thinking if I can manage my time juggling between a full-time job and attending review sessions during the weekends (Plan A). But that I think is suicide! I prefer to concentrate on my review classes before doing a hard-core engineering job (Plan B). Besides, passing the board exam is no joke. But Plan B would leave me with no income. And that means I'm gonna ask my parents to give me allowance every week. It sucks big time!

Last Wednesday, I got a call from this company who gave itself a bragging right during the whole-day recruitment affair last February. The name is not well-known but the company caters to other big companies all over the world (kidding aside). The HR lady told me that I pass the interview and the exam and that after assessing 80 plus candidates, I landed on the top 15 list. So I was like on cloud 9 during that moment. She then scheduled the final interview and all that jazz. It really made my day! I'm good! It felt really good! At last something that I can brag about. But after an hour or so, the lady called again telling me that there's a little mistake with their priority listing. I passed the interview. I passed the exam but my score didn't make it to the 1st priority list. So I landed on the 2nd priority list (felt like a loser once again). The interview was canceled with a promise that not all of those in the 1st priority will pass the interview, so they might still call me back. I'm kinda pissed off but if it's not really for me, so be it. I think God would have bigger and better plans.

At last I'm gonna graduate this coming April! The sunflowers are waiting. So excited for that! But I still have to work on with some graduation requirements. I still have to clear my deficiencies from way back. I hope to do it next week. No. I should do it next week! Time is running fast.

At last I already finished reading the book which I bought last December. I still have to read 4 books more before buying another set of books. Most of the books by the way were written by Max Lucado. Good writer, very straightforward. Gives simple yet heartwarming illustrations.

At last, I started re-committing my life to God. Thanks to a dear friend (my partner in crime) who helped me a lot by giving me words of encouragement, through text and through the ever reliable Facebook even though we don't see each other much. Dude, we gotta put those ice skates on soon! It's summer already! :) And bro, we have to help each other out in seeking God especially with our plans in life. Thank you for being a good brother. We've been through a lot but hey, we're still here encouraging each other and re-affirming our relationship as brothers-in-Christ. May we reflect God's glory to the people we meet each day. You're one of the best things that happened in my life. :)

Last month, a friend of mine died. It was on the news. She committed suicide on her condo unit. It took a while for me let it sink in. A promising career. A secured future. Good circles of friends. Why would you end your life if you have all these? Something might be missing and up until now, we are still putting the puzzle pieces together to know what the real reason why she did that. There's no one to blame why that happened. We just have to pray for her soul and her family as well.

This summer, I have a lot of plans. I'll got to Subic on May. I might go to Isabela this coming Holy Week. I'm gonna start my review sessions on May. I wanna learn how to drive before my student permit expires. I want to go to the gym on a more regular basis. I want to finish reading those Max Lucado books. And a whole lot more. I just hope that God would give me enough time and resources to do all these things. But most importantly, I should do everything to showcase God's glory. How? I still have to find it out. One thing's for sure, everything that happens to me right now, my struggles, my activities, and my work, they are all avenues to promote who God really is in my life. Please pray with me as I continue to find my purpose in life.

A Stormy Year, Figuratively And Literally

2009-12-30T05:58:00.000-08:00

There's something odd about 2009. Aside from the fact that 9 is an odd number, this year has been super crazy, chaotic, and, for the most part of it, overly frustrating. I feel like everything was going all wrong as the months pass by. Looks like 2009 was not my year. If 2008 was the best year of my life, 2009 was the complete opposite. (Click here for my 2008 year-end blog)

Early last year (I mean 2009), I have the highest hopes to graduate by April. Since I'm on a graduation mode during that time, I have to sacrifice some other things, things that I really love, just to finish my thesis. I attended a lot of graduating students' seminars sponsored by different churches and organizations because I thought that it would somehow encourage me to pull off college. It was a tortuous journey for me. Add the fact that I'm doing my thesis alone.

To make the long story short, I wasn't able to graduate last April. That was the first major frustration that came to me last year. I can still remember every detail of that day when my professor told me that he won't be accepting my project, suggesting that I take the same subject the next semester. My world fell apart. I don't know what to do. I'm not ready for that. My parents got really frustrated about it. Thankfully, they learned to accept it, more easily than I did. After finding out that I really can't do anything about it, I started planning out what to do next. I don't have a plan B yet.

One thing that I am really afraid of is the thought that if I didn't graduate, I won't stay in QC anymore. That was my biggest fear during that time. I became easily attached to friends because I enjoy every single moment with them, playing ultimate every Monday and doing hardcore jogging around the acad oval every Wednesday night. I also love our dinner outs as well as the Friday gimiks. I'm having the time of my life but because of that unfinished thesis, I have no choice but to follow what my parents said, and that's for me to stay with them again, far away from my beloved friends, far away from the place that I really called home.

Summer came. I keep on thinking ways on how to go back to QC and stay there. I started to find part-time jobs just around the vicinity of the campus. I thought that maybe, it would be enough reason for my parents to allow me to stay there again. But I failed on that part. I'm a loser feeling bitter of the things that I missed while spending time in our house.

For the last time, I enrolled as an undergrad student when June came. Still, my parents won't allow me to stay in QC since I only have 2 units left to complete. I was already hopeless that time. But I continued to find ways to get out of our house. Quite unexpectedly, a friend told me that he's gonna resign from his job as a Physics tutor and he recommended me to his employer. One day, I got a message from one of the coordinators that he's gonna schedule me for a demo teaching. Actually, I was thinking twice if I would accept it since I already applied for that job before and I failed. But I was too desperate to find a part-time job so I accepted the invitation for another round of demo teaching. And I'm doing this for one single purpose, to go back to QC. I think I was lucky enough to be given a second chance. I woke up one morning preparing Physics lesson plans and test guides to 4th year high school students.

I realized then that going to work while finishing your thesis is easier said than done. I had a hard time juggling with my regular thesis meetings (this time, I have groupmates so the job should be easier, but I was wrong) and scheduled tutorial sessions. Plus, I have to take long rides each day from home to work (and sometimes, to school) and back. It was very tiring on my part. So I keep telling myself that I really should get a place near work and school. But after getting my first regular paycheck, I realized that I still can't get a place of my own. It got me really frustrated because I have the highest hopes that I can already rent a place. But my salary was just not enough.

With my mind still focused on raising enough money to go back to QC, I felt the pressure of staying at home, parents asking me if I can finish my thesis on time and siblings who gets in my way whenever I need to use the internet (thankfully, I was able to buy a wireless router for our home network system). I also had a hard time dealing with everyone at home. I felt like they're all against me. So I didn't give a damn interacting with them. I always preferred to be alone. It came to a point where I don't wanna hear a single word from my parents. I intentionally go home late when everyone's asleep so I won't bother having to see them. In the same way, I get up in the morning whenever everyone's gone. I even make excuses to go out for thesis every weekend. I just can't bear living in the same house with them.

Once in a while, I go out with friends especially during birthday celebrations and special occasions. I just miss being with them. I promised myself to do everything just to be with them again and do the things that I love.

My life was like that for the past months or so. On the other hand, I'm having a great time with my workmates. They became my new friends in an instant. I somehow enjoyed work because of their company.

September 26, 2009. Guess what happened? I was at the engineering library in UP with my thesis mates. It was the day when Ondoy hit Manila. I have no idea what's happening around the metro since we were stranded at school. I called Mama to ask if I can go home since we usually have flood whenever there's a big storm. My mom said floodwaters on the streets were already waistdeep (probably knee deep inside our house) so she suggested that I spend the night at my thesis mate's house. Thank God my family's safe. Floodwaters subsided before the day ended so I was able to go back home the next morning. The next day, I heard the news about people who died because of the catastrophic flood. As I watch the TV, more heartbreaking stories were being reported. I can't help it but feel sorry for those people who were affected by the great flood. Somehow, I learned to appreciate my own family after hearing those stories. I prayed to God and thanked Him because He kept my family safe and no one's hurt.

After Ondoy, things started to change. Quite miraculously, I always long for a time with my family every weekend. I learned appreciating my moments with my family every dinner and lunch. I started talking to them and tell them stories about work and friends. It seems like God has worked His way through me. I'm somehow thankful to Ondoy because it made me see things through a different light with regards to my family. God has been telling me to love my family. And true enough, I'm learning to love them, little by little. It just proves that even though I screwed it up, God still loves me and He wants me to have the best.

Grace. It's one thing that I should be thankful for this year. I've been doing everything all wrong with my relationship with God but I'm glad that He saved me not just from the flood that Ondoy brought but also from the sinful nature. I finished my thesis by God's grace last year. This coming April, I'm gonna graduate from this country's premier state university. All because of God's grace.

What a year indeed! A lot of ups and downs but still, God's mercy prevailed. It wasn't a perfect year but God's strength was made perfect for my weakness. I believe that He has a reason why He let me get frustrated with what happened with my life, and if I only follow His heart, He will lead me to the place where He wants me too.

Blessed 2010 to all of us! :)

Christmas Parties, Christmas Shopping, And Some Random Thoughts

2009-12-21T09:16:00.000-08:00

After two Christmas parties, a shopping date with a good old friend, and a high school reunion, I finally got to spend some time in front of my dear computer updating my Facebook account, burning downloaded movies and stuff, writing this blog, and just having a feel of typing on my keyboard.

Preparing for a Christmas party is quite tiring and at times frustrating especially if you have a big part to play. Thank God, I was still able to manage my time (and anger) in doing stuff that needs to be done ahead of time. Honestly, 'I don't feel any fressure right now!'

Earlier today, I started doing a little Christmas list that I can bring for my Christmas shopping adventures. Since I'm doing in on a last minute basis, I might as well take an hour or two to the mall starting tomorrow to buy gifts little by little. As you can see, I really don't have much time anymore to do it in one 'full-blast' Christmas shopping. Oh well, thanks for the 1pm call time at work starting tomorrow. The only drawback is, I have to get a little from my monthly savings to buy gifts because I've been living an, putting it into a friend's word, extravagant life these past few days. So I should get ready for a 'super tipid mode' after Christmas. :)

Work is going pretty much cool now. Praise God for less paranoia. I can now talk and relate with my workmates with ease and patience. Just yesterday, I realized that I've been missing a lot whenever I take some time alone with myself during free hours. It deprives me of knowing who really my workmates are. I also realized that I'm better off if I'm the one taking the initiative to talk to a person and break the barriers between us. Now I'm starting to appreciate the freedom to talk to people in my workplace. I miss my 'old self' in a sense that I'd naturally 'pursue' people to know their hearts and establish a relationship with them. I was once known to be a friendly type of person, someone whom you can easily get along with. But as much as I want to pursue people, at the end of the day, I also want to be pursued by the people I love. Cheesy much!?! Oh well, I think God really made me that way. It's up to me how will I use it for His glory. :)

I did some Christmas shopping with a dear friend of mine yesterday at the Megamall. It wasn't really planned. It just so happened that I left work early so I have an ample time to shop. Praise God mall hours were extended to 12mn. Actually, I was expecting a much bigger shopping crowd as people do their last minute Christmas shopping. Thankfully, it wasn't that bad yesterday.

What to expect this coming week? Hmmmm... I hope to complete all the stickers for the Starbucks planner because I plan to give it to someone on Christmas. We'll be having another Christmas party on Tuesday. This time, with my workmates alone. The next day (hopefully), I'll be having dinner and coffee after with two special friends because I miss them so much. For that, I hope to finish my Christmas shopping by tomorrow. :)

Sharing A Bit Of My Life

2009-12-08T02:12:00.000-08:00

I woke up late today because I had a conversation with a friend last night. I had a great time with him even though we only had to chat online. Besides, I really miss talking with this guy. He's been like a brother to me for quite some time now. Owe you one, bro! :)

Anyway, I had a great time at work today, not that I didn't have any problems with my students and other workmates. Thank God I wasn't too harassed at the end of the day. I only attended to a few students to help them study for their upcoming quizzes. One coordinator (again) from the Manila branch did a thorough observation around the center. Surprisingly, everyone did their work as naturally as they can and not being conscious with the way they handle students. And the students? They're pretty much behaved today.

Remember the story about a workmate of mine whom I have a hard time relating to? Believe it or not, we have been in good terms lately. I even bought a shirt from him. But there are still some instances when I feel uncomfortable talking with him especially when he's with his best bud. Actually, I was supposed to bring my sister's DSLR today at work because he offered to help me with some lighting techniques to use. I wasn't able to bring the camera because my sister left early for work so I didn't text him to bring his'. But he came to the center with his DSLR and asked me if I brought mine. I told him I didn't text him so I assume that he won't be bringing his camera at work. So I was like, shemsssss, 'dyahe naman sa kanya dahil dinala pa niya.' I think he carried 3 bags today: one for his laptop, one for the shirts he's selling, and one for his camera. But he said it was definitely fine for him if I didn't bring mine. He just took some snapshots around the center. Oh well, so much for him. The day didn't only end with him.

Today, I was blessed by two workmates of mine. Let's name them workmate # 1 and workmate # 2. :P So I was doing something while singing some songs and workmate # 1 asked me 'mahilig ka talaga sa mga theatre songs?' 'Of course!' I replied. 'I love Broadway!' Then I told him the story how I developed an interest in Broadway. It started when I was a kid and I used to ask my uncle to buy me soundtracks of Disney animated films. I used to listen to them over and over again as a child. It was just during college when I learned to love Broadway songs. Well, Disney songs are much more like Broadway in a sense. I'm glad that I was able to share this little part of my life which means a lot to me. After a while, I shared to him my rants on how I wasn't able to receive any text messages from friends for a relatively long while. I told him that before, I used to get jealous easily if my friends didn't reply to my texts and all that jazz. To take it further, I took some personal time with him and asked him about my situation because according to him, it was kind of interesting. So I told him my story of this and that, of being easily attached to people, and of being so possessive of my friends. According to him, I might be suffering from a personality disorder, something that is called 'borderline.' Aside from those, he also told some other personality disorders and its manifestations to an individual. During that short time with him, I learned something about myself, that I am so vulnerable with the simplest things and the simplest mistakes people make. But thank God because as I see it, I'm in the process of recovering from that personality disorder. Before, like three or four years ago, it was even worse. You wouldn't want to know the things that I used to do whenever I'm angry or jealous with someone. I'm used to be possessive of friends and you wouldn't want to mess with me.

I also shared another piece of my life to workmate # 2. This time, I told him some stories of adventures as well as misadventures with some of our workmates. It's good to be talking with him inside the bus even for just a short while. I was blessed because he listened to everything I said. I was like so unstoppable telling him some stories about being 'epal' at work, how things became a lot different after a certain incident which involved me being 'badtrip' with two workmates, and how I get frustrated with my relationship with some workmates. I did the talking and he just gave me some pieces of advice on how to deal with those.

Workmate # 1 and workmate # 2 are the people whom I'm able to get along with easily at work nowadays since we all have something in common, we are all Christians having the same struggles. I thank God for giving me a chance to really know about them and their lives during one group reflection time. I mean, it was no accident that today, I was able to share a bit of my life to them. I won't be surprised if this is just a part of God's big plan for my life while I work as a science tutor in the center. I pray to God for more quality time with them. Also, I pray to God that one of these days, I would also be able to reach out to other workmates to share my life. And eventually, I hope to bless them with every word that I say and with every deed that I do.

Just Some Random Thoughts Before I Sleep

2009-12-07T03:34:00.000-08:00

I told myself while I'm on my way back home that I'm gonna write something today. The question is, what am I going to write? A friend once told me that as a writer, or a blogger at least, I should have my own style of writing. But what the heck? I'm not a Creative Writing major to have style and everything. I usually write as my fragile heart (uh huh) leads. Most of the time, I write about major events that put twists in my life. Sometimes, my blog transforms into an online shock absorber. I'm an extreme blogger I guess. One day I'm gonna write all the good stuff but on the next, it will be the end of the world for me. There are also those times when the randomness of my thoughts produces clutter on an 'online paper.' I can still remember when a professor of mine in Creative Writing 10 (a general subject in UP) gave us a set of readings about how to minimize or better yet, remove clutter while writing a story. It just didn't work for me, I guess. Just a thought, I have my own writing style after all, a random and cluttered one. :D

Work was... pretty cool today. Got the chance to talk with a workmate of mine whom I haven't talked with because of some personal (and immature) reasons. In the first place, I shouldn't be posting this for his own sake. But blogging somehow became my stress reliever these past few days. So I have no choice but to release this stress I'm feeling right now. Actually, it took me a lot of guts to talk to him because I really don't feel like it. There's still a trace of uneasiness every time he's near me. Like I always want to stay away from him as much as possible. Just last weekend, I was able to ponder on this situation and I've decided to try my best to be in good terms with him. Besides, no one knows that one day, he might resign from work due to some unexpected reasons and by the looks of it, it's not far from happening. I hope that in the coming days, we'll be in good terms. Somehow, I realized that he's a great person with a kind heart. :)

Today, we've been observed, by a supervisor of some sort, on how we handle our students in the center. Thankfully, it didn't become as bloody as expected. We did everything just fine. Hopefully there are only a few negative feedbacks. And I think I didn't screw up. Oh well, let's see on our next general meeting about those observations.

Actually, I'm tired. And since I don't have something in mind to write at the moment, I better sign off now. :)

I Think I'm Ready For These Things

2009-12-05T22:21:00.000-08:00

These past few days, I've been tempted to write some crazy stuff about work. Probably the result of my longing to relieve myself of some stress. A lot of things are happening inside my mind right now that I might end up conveying ideas after ideas and opening topics after topics. But I'll try my best to make this one as painless as possible. *Breathes deep* Whew!

Actually, I don't want to write anything about work just for now because I might get frustrated upon writing, for a lack of a better term, not-so-good-to-hear stories. Prior to writing this blog, I've been thinking of some other things that I can write. My ideas range from my plans after graduation, my plans of moving again to QC, my desire to master the craft of acting, singing, and dancing, and so much more. Hmm... By the looks of it, I might write a very long blog. Add the fact that I haven't blogged for a very loooooong time. I wrote my last blog last summer during the time of the Hayden Kho and Katrina Halili scandal and prior to that, I resorted to writing my thoughts on a notebook instead, some kind of a journal or a diary of some sort. Oh well, thank God I now have the luxury once again to pour my heart out in this blog. How I miss doing this. :)

So first thing's first, I wanna tell the whole world that I'm a graduate already!!! Though not yet officially (I still have to wait for the deliberation before the year ends). Whew! It took me a lot of pain just to finish my thesis. By the way, we are four in our group. It was really fun working with my groupmates. Though we argue at times because of conflicts on our schedules but God worked His way through us.

A little flashback: FYI, that was my second time to take that thesis course as an undergrad. My first take was super fail!!! If I'm not mistaken, I did my first thesis for 3 semesters, the last two I was doing it alone because my thesis partner, for some weird and unjustifiable reason, made her own way to pass that course without me knowing it. It took one month, more or less, before she actually confessed upon returning my old guitar and the book she used as reference for 'our' project. That was the very gist of it. The whole story should be left to be written on another blog entry. But don't get me wrong because I'm already in good terms with my former thesis partner. I've forgiven her already. (Former thesis partner, if you are reading this, I still want to thank you because somehow, I learned to do things on my own and be confident with what I know.) :)

So going back to my second thesis, we were able to do the project cramming almost everything. Oh yeah! But still, we made a nice thesis in the end. The 'Best Project' as we usually dub it while we're speaking amongst us. It was God's loving hands who guided us while we spend hours doing our thesis in the college library, at McDonald's Katipunan, and anywhere where there's WiFi. I can still remember when Typhoon Ondoy hits Manila, we were stuck in the college library doing some research and design works. And the rest is history so to speak. We were able to get a high grade that we didn't expect! Praise God for that! We owe Him one. :)

So what happened after that? *checks grade online just to be sure the thesis grade is still there* I started thinking of great things that I can do as a graduate. One thing just came into my mind: I'm not a student anymore! Vengeance is mine!!! *evil laugh* Goodbye sleepless nights! Goodbye exams! Goodbye homeworks! Goodbye college friends??? Of course not! Actually, my first specific plan after graduation is to spend time with my friends. Yeah! I miss them so much because I've been busy doing my thesis during the past months. I wanna play ultimate frisbee again with them! I even bought my own pair of cleats last September. But sad to say, that pair of cleats is still in its box. I haven't used it since then. For some weird reason, I spent more time with my friends during thesis days. Maybe because the need for a breather is greater during that time than now when I'm more relaxed. I really miss playing ultimate during monday afternoons at the sunken garden and then jogging around the acad oval during wednesday evenings. You know what, I really should do those things again as soon as possible or else, I will be your Santa this Christmas. :P

Aside from those things, I also want to ice skate (Poor ice skating rink in Megamall. It was turned into an activity center just recently. :( ) I also want to learn digital photography but I don't have my own DSLR yet. It's on my wishlist this year. :)

What else do I want to do? Hmmmm... Let's take it further. :)

Of course, my desire to do theatre as a profession still never ceases. I want to enroll again in UP but this time, as a Performance major in Theatre Arts. The theatre bug is biting me again. And that's good! It means that I still have my heart with me. :) Also, as an engineering graduate, I also want to continue further studies as an MS student in UP and probably, finish a doctoral degree in a reputable school abroad. I also want to try teaching in UP while doing my masters. I also want to learn to play fencing since it was the first game that I truly love. :) Next year, I will take the licensure examinations for Mechanical Engineers. So I have to take review classes by May next year.

These are just some of the things that I really want to do now that I'm a graduate. Like what I have written in my journal before, life is too short to do all these things. That's why I better start doing them one at a time as early as now.

I pray that God would always be with me as I reach these dreams. Would you also be part of it?

Of Sex Video Scandals And Long Queues

2009-05-31T04:35:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: I'm not well-read about the issue but I want to share my thoughts about it.

It's on the news. It's on the boob-tube. It's everywhere. Imagine waking up one morning receiving text message from a friend about a Hayden Kho joke? Good enough to ruin the day. This sex video scandal is almost close to being a phenomenon. Just the other day, my mom told us that some of her office mates do have copies of those 'box-office' videos made by the accused. 'Pervert' as my sister would call him because of doing such inhumane act. Right at this moment, a senate hearing is ongoing regarding that scandal. Some of my friends are having discussions on Plurk about that pointless issue. I repeat it, POINTLESS. I saw some people use this issue to rise up, maybe to campaign themselves for the upcoming elections, to show the people how good they are in revealing this matter and how concerned they are to those who need justice. And for the two parties involved, you've received more than T.V. exposure. It's not the right and human way to get people's attention and sympathy or to be known or to be popular. Besides, why would you? In the end people will forget about you and this issue.

I came from NSO earlier today to secure 3 freaking copies of my birth certificate for some purpose. I was surprised to see this long queue outside the office. Much more like the Idol auditions in the U.S. Just kidding! I am still addicted to AI I guess. Anyway, this line goes on like forever. Thoughts suddenly came rushing in. Will I be able to get my documents within the day? How long would this take? Oh my, I forgot to bring a bottle of water! Did I forget something? It's freaking hot in here! I wanna go home and go back to bed! etc. I can still remember back in the very last day of 2006 when I registered for the 2007 elections with my high school friends. Same thing almost happened with my NSO adventure. But less of the boredom because I'm with friends. This NSO experience of mine I think is even worse. It's quite ironic because they call that place a 'Serbilis' Center. Ano naman ang mabilis sa pagpila ng pitong oras at walang tanghalian? Yes you heard it right! Pitong Oras! 7 hours of boredom! Add the fact that the summer heat is just rushing in. And they have these big announcements scattered all over the place, which makes it really annoying, that they increased the service charge. For what? For a greater cause? What's great with this long lines of people bathing under the summer sun? And so much for waking up very early in the morning to avoid the great rush.

Thank God no one dared to talk about the sex-scandal. I mean people are more concerned on getting their documents and leave that God-forsaken place. Good thing I brought a book with me and tried to read a few pages from it. I was distracted a lot of times with the yelling that those guards make while fixing the overly chaotic line. And I get a bit sleepy at times while reading. It's quite a blessing for me to be sitting while in line. Others would have to wait patiently to have a hold of that precious monoblock chair. Like what I said, the line took like forever. Our route to the cashiers was s-shaped following the arrangement of the chairs. And after reaching the first cashier, you have to fall in line again to another cashier. Grabe, ang gulo ng sistema talaga. Kainis!!!

I heard someone said hindi na talaga umunlad ang Pilipinas. Which is true. I guess everybody could attest to that. Another one said dapat online na lahat yan para wala ng pila (or something like that). How I wish we can use the power of the internet to make that kind of transaction. But that's another issue. My memories of the good old UP enrollment system (which we still use until now) came rushing in. So I was like grabe, wala talagang improvement sa Pilipinas. Just imagine senior citizens waiting also to pay for their their documents and come again the next day to get it in yet another series of long queues. Even pregnant women who want to get their child's birth certificate to give him a good public education. Also, government employees who get meager salaries (ask my mom). That's why sometimes, I can't blame the people behind the cashier windows for being so impatient at times.

And where are our dear leaders? There in the senate, interrogating the one and only Ms. Katrina Halili, starstruck by her beauty and her personality. An under-rated ex-mayor made a very rude scene which I think pissed off Hayden Kho. This is yet another issue and I won't be surprised if tomorrow people are sending jokes about it through SMS. I can't even imagine senate employees flocking to the hearing room just to take pictures and have a glimpse of those two personalities.

To the leaders of this nation, are these the news that you want our children to hear? And I think there is a need to address some hidden issues in that sex video scandal like drug abuse, prevalence of pre-marital sex, invasion of privacy and all that jazz. All can affect the minds and future of the youth. Why not focus on the bigger problems that knock on our doors instead of drooling over this over-commercialized issue?

Again, these are just my thoughts.

Through The Mist: The Silang (Cavite) Incident

2009-02-02T01:11:00.000-08:00

January 31, 2009. The day that turned my world upside down (almost literally). The day which almost became my last. But thank God I'm still alive. He saved me. No scratches. No bruises. Just a shocking memory that I will always remember.

7pm. Bus station near Taft Avenue. Waiting in line seemed like forever. We're making our way to our church's retreat. We're 11 all in all: Ate Flo, Sarj, Cappy, Karen, Dwight, Chame, Lowie, Viv, Marj, Jen, and me. We're all bored but we managed to let time pass by sharing funny stories. As we near the front of the line, waiting became more boring and tiring. I was patiently carrying my luggage and my laptop. I've decided to travel a little lighter since the retreat would only take a day or so. Then we started planning where to sit inside the bus and who sits with who. We came up to a plan to sit together at the back seat of the bus.

9pm. After 2 freaking hours, we started loading the bus. It's a new Golden Dragon bus owned by a company named Erjohn and Almar. We got a little bit disappointed because we weren't able to take the back seat. So we sat by pairs on the seats near the driver. I think I was seated on the 6th row. The bus was jam packed. There were passengers standing on the aisle. From Taft, we traveled along Coastal road. Lowie and I were sitting beside each other sightseeing while listening to Chris Tomlin's heartfelt music. I started making short naps along the way. People started dropping off upon reaching Bacoor/Imus (whichever came first) leaving us with more space.

10:30pm. Lowie woke me up offering a box of snacks. I ate from it as if it was my last (thank God it wasn't) to satisfy my craving for sweets. People are going in and out of the bus. We're in Silang, Cavite during this time. I took another nap before something terrible happened.

11pm. The bus suddenly stopped putting an end to my sleep. I saw a thick mist outside the glass window. We thought it was fog. Then I smelled something different. The smell of burning oil. Then someone shouted, "LABAS KAYO BILIS... SASABOG!!!" It actually took me some time to process it in my mind but Lowie run in an instant. Upon seeing the other passengers running out like crazy, I made my move and got up holding my bags. I turned to my right and saw nothing but thick white smoke through the glass window. I turned to my left and saw people panicking, trapped, trying to make their way out of the bus. There's definitely no way out. I saw Dwight making his way from one bus seat to another but still was trapped. Ate Flo was trapped too asking where our friends are. I got my chance to go the aisle dropping the iPod (which I was still able to put inside my bag). Then I felt the bus started moving in a direction that I don't know. Still, all I can see is the thick white smoke outside. The driver and the bus conductor weren't there anymore. Who's gonna save us? People started shouting as the bus accelerates. I also heard banging sounds which gave me an impression that the bus is hitting on something outside. I saw and heard Ate Flo shouting. I was standing on the aisle shouting my heart out too. After a little while, we heard a loud crash from the back of the bus, then it came to a halt. We ran for our lives because the bus might explode and burst into flames. Thank God the bus didn't explode. I was still able to save my stuff. The bus crashed to a house (we later found out that it was owned by a retired colonel). Viv and Lowie came running to us. Ate Flo asked them where the girls are. Viv told us that they were all able to jump out of the bus before the it started to accelerate. We ran to them, nervous and traumatized. Chame, Marge, Viv, Lowie, Karen, Cappy, Jen, and Sarj were able to get off the bus before it started traveling by itself downhill almost half a kilometre leaving Ate Flo, Dwight, and me inside. Jen got a small wound on her head. Sarj also had one near one of her elbows. She got bruises too. Everyone's damn nervous. We started calling Melvin to tell what happened. Thank God everyone's safe.

11:30pm. Everyone's safe. No one's hurt badly. A few of the residences lead us to a nearby clinic because some of us need to be checked up especially Sarj and Jen. But someone was brought to the nearest hospital by an ambulance. I don't know how badly the guy was hurt but we saw him shivering on a stretcher. We prayed together as a church, thanking God that no one is badly hurt but still crying of what might have happened. We hugged each other giving words of love and comfort. That could have been the end of us all. But each of us could attest that God has been so good in His own special and unique way. Maybe, He wants us to realize something as a church.

12am. We waited for Melvin and Emman in front of the clinic while sharing our own stories. They came after an hour or so with a jeepney to pick us up. They gave each one of us a comforting hug. Emman actually sent each of us a Bible verse (Philippians 4:8) while we're waiting for them. Then we shared our stories to them on our way to the retreat house. We found out that the place of the incident was very near Tagaytay, which has more dangerous and steeper roads. God has been so good to each one of us.

2pm. We arrived at the retreat house tired but relieved. We got inside our respective rooms to prepare our beds. We had little talks about the incident before we go to sleep and we still managed to joke about it. We're already safe.

This is definitely an experience that we would never forget. Obviously, it's not a nice one but I know God is telling us something. The eleven of us had the same traumatic experience but like what I said, God talks to each one of us in a unique way.

I'm blessed to have Stillwaters as my church. It's not a perfect one but I can confidently say that God is always in our midst whatever circumstance we have. I can't stop thinking what might have happened. I can't stand the fact that I might have died that way. My words are not enough to express my deepest praises to God, our Heavenly Father, who saved us.

Thank God we didn't take the back seat.

A Glmpse Of The Year That Shaped My Dreams

2009-01-01T23:35:00.000-08:00

2009 has just begun and I can say that it went quite well. I'm happy to hear that accidents caused by firecrackers decreased this year. The economic crisis is not a bad thing after all. Though there are really some heart-breaking news like the disco fire in Thailand which reminds us of the Ozone disco tragedy in Quezon City. Updated huh? Well, these past few days I was just glued on the T.V. watching late-night news and some animes and Korean drama series. Anyway, let's get to the real thing. Everyone's going gaga writing their new year's resolutions, new year rants and wishes, the events during the past year and all that jazz. Like the compulsive, ironic, and sentimental blogger, as I always was, I have my own version of this new year's blog syndrome. Syndrome cause everything in my multiply inbox is about new year, new year, new year, and new year. What's another blog entry from me?

So much for the good beginnings this year. Last new year, I had a bad start. I spent the first days of 2008 on a hospital bed because of urinary tract infection due to the unhealthy living I had prior to that. I had to experience lying down all day while bearing the super cold temperature and the pain of blood tests. I also had to miss the UP Centennial Kick-Off and some classes. Thanks to Revin who visited me during my second to the last day in the most boring place in the world.

The next 2 weeks that followed, I had a series of plant visits from Batangas all the way up to Ilocos Norte. I had so much fun travelling and going to places I've never been before. I enjoyed our short but memorable stay in Bangui, Ilocos Norte at the house of my professor. I also got the chance to experience the white sand and great waves of Pagudpud.

March is UP CCC Graduates Kick-Off month. Yeah! I was formally 'kicked-off' by UP CCC as a CCC Alumnus. But I'm not yet an alumnus due to some unexpected circumstances and that's another story. Anyway, I still attended that kick-off party since I want to join my batchmates in this very important event as a CCC mover.
Then summer came. I was accepted for an internship program in a company somewhere in Ortigas so I need to work for 8 hours and 48 minutes for 2 months inside that boring office as a Mechanical Engineer Apprentice. Whew!!! So I had to review my thermodynamics and other nosebleeding ME stuff. I had to do some real-life engineering stuff which left me drained at the end of each day. And then the next day, I have to rush to catch that skip train (or the 'miracle train' I should say because it really saves a lot of people from being late for work) at the MRT Quezon Avenue station. Imagine the people flocking at the entrance of the station that the guards have to stop the people from entering for quite some time until the next train arrrives, or until there's space on the platform. It really sucks waiting for the next train to arrive because you have to endure the heat of the summer and some impatient people trying to get in even though the only space left in the train is the space above you. If there is one thing that I hate during the summer, that is the super hassle trip from Q.C. to Pasig City every single morning (except the weekends of course). I really don't like the work atmosphere there because I always feel pressured to do something great and live up to their expectations since I came from this well-renowned university in the country, or even in the whole wide world. After the last day of my internship, I felt so happy and free because I don't need to endure those kind of stuff I've mentioned above anymore. I can't imagine seeing myself working in that kind of office for a year. I can't even bear 2 months in that company.

Going back to my last day, I attended a mini party at Mc Donald's El Pueblo which is just a walking distance from that company. It was a get together of some UP CCC alumni as a prelude to the upcoming UP CCC Alumni Homecoming come November.
One thing that I look forward to every summer for almost four years now is Trumpets Playshop at the Podium, Ortigas Center. Last summer, I enrolled in an Adult Musical Theatre Class and I was mentored by Ms. Sweet Plantado-Tiongson (member of the singing group The Company) and JC Gotinga (host of a weekly travel show on TV 5 Travel on a Shoestring). Trumpets made my summer so exciting. It's the one thing that I look forward to after each day of internship. I always rush at the Podium Mall after a day's work for our workshops. Our class were able to put up a nice show entitled Songs from Closer Than Ever at the end of the workshop which wowed famous theatre personalities like Liesl Batucan, Luna Grino-Inocian (the writer of our script by the way), and The Company of course. It was my best class ever at Trumpets. I enjoyed each workshop day and the company of my fellow MT-Adult Playshoppers.

Probably the most memorable thing that happened to me last year is being a part of this new Dulaang UP hit entitled Isang Panaginip Na Fili, a new musical by Floy Quintos and CJ Javier. I auditioned to become part of the show (it was my first time to audition for DUP by the way) and God didn't disappoint me. The rest is history. Fili was my first ever professional theatre experience (the one where I get paid ). I got the chance to work with famous personalitites like Tony Mabesa, Ms. Ces Quesada, Franco Laurel, Meynard Penalosa, Stella Canete, Floy Quintos, and a whole lot more. I enjoy the company of DUP. We had a four-week run at the Guerrero Theatre in UP from September to October having the house full each show and receiving good reviews. I can remember saying to myself backstage during one of our shows that 'this is the best job on earth and I won't exchange it for anything else.' It was so memorable that I suddenly broke down into tears during the finale and curtain call of our last show. Truly, I had the time of my life with Dulaang UP and I look forward for more theatre productions with them.

Most of you would not know about this, I also did another theatre production. This time with my Theatre 12 class in UP. I enrolled myself in this class because I still have a hangover from Trumpets. I had to juggle between my rehearsals and my shows in DUP. We were able to pull off a nice show at the end of the semester entitled Insiang by Mario O' Hara. I played the role of Bong, the father of Insiang. Though I only have a cameo appearance, I had a great time working with my classmates. We did a great show that even our professor, Ms. Edna Mae Landicho, gave us nice comments and congratulated each one of us.

I also did a short film entitled Si Brother for the annual Takilyang Peyups at the UP College of Mass Communication. I played the role of an idealistic frat man. It was an amateur production, but they didn't leave me with nothing. I have to skip 2 nights of rehearsals in DUP just for this production. But it's worth the experience.

This year, I develop a new addiction, ultimate!!! Yeah! I started playing last November with my CCC family and now I want to get a grip of that disc every single day. I think I should buy a new pair of shoes for that. We play every Monday afternoon at the UP Sunken Garden then dinner afterwards at Bora Grill then desserts galore at Mini-stop UP Village.

Remember the UP CCC Alumni Homecoming I mentioned earlier? I was part of the grand preparation as a performer for a mini-skit. UP CCC Alumni from the 70's to the 90's gathered for one big celebration at the UP Bahay ng Alumni. All I can say is that, I love performing! I co-wrote the script together with other UP CCC members. After the program, I spent the rest of the night with some 'new millenium' alumni at The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, Trinoma.

I was given an opportunity to attend an all-professionals conference at Caliraya sponsored by Influencers International, the professional arm of Campus Crusade for Christ, during the end of November. The conference was open to graduating students for half the price so I took that opportunity together with other CCC graduating students. That conference welcomed me to the professional world. It somehow gave me a taste of what will I experience in the workplace and the battles that I need to face. I got to know a lot of professionals there. I heard their stories. I played with them. I learned from them.

During the annual UP Lantern Parade, I was one of those lucky engineering students who got a free t-shirt from the College of Engineering. I love the shirt but I'm still finding a way how to remove that Meralco logo on the right sleeve. I joined the engineering crowd together with my PSME-UPSU orgmates. It was fun walking along the acad oval with them taking pictures and joining in the great lantern parade wave, which is uniquely Eng'g. Stillwaters had a mini birthday celebration for Marvin and Karen after the parade at the AS steps.
Of course, Christmas parties won't be out of the list. I attended one as early as December 2 at Stillwaters Church. I love the way Stillwaters celebrates it. This year, we had a 'candy-themed' party so candies are all around the PCCC student center. And I would never forget the unique gift-grabbing we had. That's the one thing that I look forward to every Stillwaters Christmas party. But sad to say, I wasn't able to make and eat s'mores this year. UP CCC also had one a day after the lantern parade. Each batch from batch 03 to 08 prepared mini presentations to showcase their talents. Our batch made the most unique presentation, the 'synchronized swimming.' Haha! But I think what made us unique from the other batches is our music video presentation of the song Pasko na Sinta Ko by Gary V.

I think that's it. I hope you enjoyed going down memory lane, because I did. I pray that 2009 will be more exciting and filled with a lot of surprises. I wish every one who patiently read this blog a blessed new year! I hope that this year will be another year of fulfilling our dreams and that God will give us everything we need to make them happen. But most importantly, let's commit this year to God, the Giver of life. Without Him, I won't be able to experience those things that shaped my year. He has a purpose on why all these things happened. He's preparing something for me this 2009 and in the years to come.
Happy 2009 everyone! Ciao for now!

My Christmas Wishlist

2008-12-10T02:25:00.000-08:00

So everyone's busy making their Christmas wishlists. Like what my friends would usually say, if you can't beat them, join them! Well, this was against the lessons we had in our DG early this evening. Haha! Anyway, here's my Christmas wishlist:

1. To finish my undergrad research paper (a.k.a. thesis)
2. To finish my undergrad research paper (a.k.a. thesis)
3. To finish my undergrad research paper (a.k.a. thesis)
4. To finish my undergrad research paper (a.k.a. thesis)
5. To finish my undergrad research paper (a.k.a. thesis)
6. To finish my undergrad research paper (a.k.a. thesis)
7. To finish my undergrad research paper (a.k.a. thesis)
8. To finish my undergrad research paper (a.k.a. thesis)
9. To finish my undergrad research paper (a.k.a. thesis)
10. To finish my undergrad research paper (a.k.a. thesis)

nothing more, nothing less, nothing else.

A Bum's Nirvana

2008-11-28T05:10:00.000-08:00

"Mr. Alvarez, It's confirmed! No one can understand what you've written!" These were the very words that my 'thesis' adviser said when I gave him the draft of my data analysis. To think that the one person who 'read' it aside from him didn't even read it in the first place. As always, buong ME department nanaman ang nakarinig. Everytime naman na magcoconsult ako sa kanya, disaster. Pero in fairness, hindi naman niya talaga ako pinahiya ngayon. I just need to fix some bugs in my report.

Ayun! Actually, pinag-eexperimentuhan kita. Oo ikaw na nagbabasa nito. Try ko lang kung mas may effect ang ganung opening sentence. Para maiba lang. Wala lang. Trip lang! Pero since na-open mo na 'to, tapusin mo na ang pagbabasa. Malay mo ma-mention kita. Haha!!

Well, these past few days I've been living in Nirvana, a bum's Nirvana. To tell you honestly, I really don't know the real meaning of Nirvana. As much as I can remember from my Asian history, it's a place of extreme happiness and all that jazz. Did I just say extreme happiness? Well, hindi naman masyado. Nirvana lang kasi ang unang word na pumasok sa mind ko nung nag-iisip ako kung ano ba ang state ko ngayon sa buhay. Haha! Nirvana in a sense na I can spend time with my long lost friends once again without having to worry too much about my classes the next day. Kasi, wala nanaman akong class. Haha!!! Isa akong hamak na bum sa UP na pagala-gala at nag-iisip kung paano tatapusin ang undergrad research paper ko na ako lang mag-isa ang tumatapos (Hello sa nang-iwan sa akin sa project na 'to. I'm still alive and kicking. =D ).

Sa plurk din daw ay may Nirvana. Ewan kung ano ibig sabihin nun. Hindi naman ako nagpu-plurk. I don't want to dare myself to open a plurk account. Madali pa man din akong ma-adik. Kaya ngayon nangangayayat ako dahil adik ako!! Haha!! Nirvana dahil after quite some time nakapaglaro ulit ako ng frisbee. Na-miss ko yung pagod sa paglalaro. Nirvana din dahil na-experience kong gumising ng alas-dose ng tanghali. =D

I don't know if I'm giving enough justice to the real meaning of Nirvana. Pero for a lack of a better word, yun na lang ang gagamitin ko. =P

Well actually, hindi naman talaga ako bum ngayon. Semi-bum lang. I'm still fully supported by my parents financially (and morally). =) But there are times din na I want to live on my own na. I want to have a job but I can't have it on a full-time basis. Like what I said to most of my friends, I won't work full-time unless I've graduated from college already.

Just last monday, a friend told me that she appreciates me more now than before because of my level of maturity (those were not the exact words pero parang ganun na rin yun). Weh!? Ows?? As in hello? Ako? Mature? Haha!! Eh mas nagiging isip-bata nga ako this past few days. Haha!!! Waaahhhhh!!!! I wanna be a kid again. Yung tipong nag-eenjoy pag pinapasan siya ng dad niya sa likod niya (which by the way I've never experienced). So ayun, thanks dear friend if you really think that I'm mature enough to handle certain things. Haha! Pero sa tingin ko, hindi pa rin talaga. I'm still in the process of finding a reason for everything. =)

The hell with my job interviews! Bigla-bigla na lang may mga magtetext na company scheduling me for an exam and interview. I remembered last monday na may interview ako sa isang company na 'to tapos hindi ko alam kung anong position ang aapply-an ko. In the end, nalaman ko na lang na shift supervisor ang kailangan nila. Yung tipong mag-aayos ng schedule ng mga tao sa isang gas station. Eh schedule ko nga hindi ko maayos eh schedule pa kaya ng iba!? What the heck!! Kaya the next day, hindi na ako umattend dun sa naka-schedule ko na interview. Most of them would say kasi na they need licensed Mechanical Engineers. Eh since most of them would still consider me as a student, hindi pa nila ma-assure ang position ko. So I've decided not to attend interviews muna. Besides, nakakapagod din.

I'm off to Caliraya 6 hours from now. Wohoo!!! After almost a year, I'm gonna go out-of-town again. Pero weird, parang ang gaan ng bag ko. Usually kasi mabigat talaga ang bag na dinadala ko sa mga ganitong klaseng trips pero ngayon, kayang-kaya siya kahit ng dalawang daliri ko lamang. Joke! Shienna just gave me a call a while ago giving me reminders for the trip later. Gosh! They're asking us to be on a sports attire and be ready to swim. What the heck!!! I really don't know how to swim!!! I've experienced the swimming pool of Caliraya Rec and it's super deep! 8 or 9 feet deep. (That's deep for a non-swimmer like me.) Haha!! Bahala na si Batman bukas. Yung mga girls na lang ang palalanguyin ko. By the way, ako lang ang guy na kasama from UP. Haha! I'm excited to meet new friends. Pero sabi nga ni Jopi, dapat lahat ng matututunan ko dun ay transferrable. Ewan kung ano ibig sabihin niya dun. Basta ang alam ko, na-pressure ako sa mga nag-support sa amin ni Wonder at ni Ate Rox. Haha! Kailangan makinig sa mga sessions. Haha!!

Gusto ko nang mag-reformat ng laptop dahil medyo mabagal na siya at naiinis na rin ako sa mga programs na ayaw ma-uninstall.

I miss performing on stage. I just saw the preview of DUP's Atang last tuesday at Guerrero theatre. Most of my Fili friends were part of the cast. It was a good play. I can't compare it to Fili since they have different objectives. While Fili's goal was to entertain at the same time spark an awareness to the youth, Atang's goal was to inculcate the appreciation of art to every true Filipino. Haha!! I'm not fond of making reviews so that's all I can give you. =) I miss my Fili friends and our bonding/night out sessions at tomato kick. =)

Gusto ko ng matapos ang ME 155 ko! Ayoko nang bumalik sa ME dept. Nakakasawa na. Haha! God, we can do this! Aja!! =)

Since I feel like I'm in Nirvana, I also feel like thanking those people (habang may time pa) na nakasama ko in this journey called life (Labo tsong!):

To my CCC family, thanks for the good times! Ngayon ko lang talaga na-eenjoy ang pagiging CCC. =)

To my Fili family, nakaka-miss kayo! Labas tayo minsan. Let's pray for our re-run! Smiling face!!!

To my PSME-UPSU family, salamat dahil kahit hindi na ako nakakasama sa inyo nandyan pa rin kayo para ipadama na kasama niyo ako. Go PSME!!!

To my Eng'g Soc family, God bless sa Awitan!! Miss you all!

To my Theatre 12 family, ano na ang nagyari sa naudlot na cast party? Miss you all!! Ang saya di'ba? =)

To my Stillwaters family, nakaka-miss mag-S'mores! Pero mas nakaka-miss kayo! Thank God you're here! I miss Kuya Philip and Tita Rachel. =)

To my Mama and Papa, I just realized that you love me so much. I love you too!

To my Saving Grace, thank you for the people I've mentioned above. You are the very reason why I live. =D

Grepa Ako!

2008-11-03T11:37:00.000-08:00

Until now, I still don't have a grade in ME 136. Actually, it's not just me. It's the whole class!!! Even the ME 131 students do not have their grades yet. Ang saya diba? We've been texting our prof since the deadline of the submission of grades but he didn't reply to anyone of us. Hey Mr. __________, when will you give us our freaking grade?

Got this survey from Audrey. Wala lang. Wala lang akong magawa dahil, GREPA AKO!!!

PRE-SCHOOL :

1. Ano ang sinasabi mo noong bata ka pa na gusto mong maging paglaki mo?
▪ Doctor

2. Ano ang isang bagay na na-enjoy mong gawin noon?
▪ manood ng tagalized cartoons sa channel 2

3. Bakit?
▪ kasi na-fascinate ako sa mga tagalog na cartoons. may ganun pala. Haha!

4. Anong age ka pumasok sa school?
▪ 4

5. Sinong 'buddy' mo noon?
▪ di ko na maalala.

6. Anong pangyayayari ang hindi mo makalimutan?
▪ i cried when the dentist came into our room. akala ko kasi bubunutan ako ng ngipin. ung dentist kasi na yun ay yung bumunot sa ngipin ko before tapos sobrang sakit. so na-trauma ako. haha!

7. Kilala mo pa mga teachers mo?
▪ Tr. Gemma, Tr. Rose, and Tr. Luding

8. Iyakin ka ba noon?
▪ SOBRA!!!

GRADESCHOOL :

9. Anong bag gamit mo noon?
▪ hindi ko na maalala eh... basta iba-iba, minsan backpack, minsan shoulder bag, minsan may stroller. =)

10. Sinong principal nyo noon?
▪ Mr. Gerardo Santos

11. Anong mga sections mo noon?
▪ (Sa Amazing Grace School) Grade 1 - Exodus, Grade 2 - Deuteronomy, Grade 3 - Mark, (Sa Liceo de San Pedro) Grade 4 - St. Magdalene, Grade 5 - Our Lady of Pillar, Grade 6 - Understanding. Wahahahaha!! ang weird ng mga sections ko.

12. May club ka bang sinalihan?
▪ Math and Science club, Folk dance club. =)

13. Maingay ka ba sa klase?
▪ hindi...

14. May kinakatakutan ka bang teacher noon?
▪ yes! Teacher ko sa math sa AGS. As in umiiyak ako pag pinagre-recite niya ako. Haha! pero ok na kami ngayon.

15. Bakit?
▪ nakakatakot siya eh. As in umiiyak ako pag pinagre-recite niya ako. Haha! pero ok na kami ngayon.

16. Pano ka pumupunta sa school?
▪ Hired trike. =) Natuto na akong mag-trike ng mag-isa nung grade 4.

17. Marunong ka na bang mag-commute ng panahong ito?
▪ nung grade 4 ako natuto.

18. Paano ka mag-aral?
▪ my mom used to make a mock exam for me. =)

19. Mahilig ka bang kumain ng tusok-tusok?
▪ Hindi.

20. Responsible ka bang estudyante?
▪ yes

HIGHSCHOOL:

21. Saan ka nag-high school?
▪ Amazing Grace School =)

22. Anu mga section mo?
▪ Luke, Galatians, Ephesians, Peter

23. May-CAT ba kayo noon?
▪ yes

24. Naging class officer ka ba?
▪ nope

25. Kumakain ka ba habang nasa klase?
▪ nope.

26. Tamad ka bang pumasok?
▪ hindi. masipag ako noon!

27. Sinong principal nyo noon?
▪ Ma'am Herminia Bien

28. Kilala ka ba nya? Ano tawag nya sa'yo?
▪ Yes, Gian ang tawag niya malamang, I was famous during high school. Weh!! Haha!! =)

29. Paano?
▪ Kasi nga famous nga!

30. May award ka bang natanggap non? anu-ano?
▪ (Ehem Ehem!!! Drum Roll!!!!) Valedictorian!!!! Wahahahaha!!!

COLLEGE:

31. School mo?
▪ isang hamak na unibersidad sa may philcoa

32. Meron ka bang na-uno na subjects? Ano-ano?
▪ PI 100, CWTS-1 (does that count?), ME 143.

33. Meron ka na bang nabagsak na subject? Anu-ano?
▪ Marami!!! ES 11, ES 26, ME 153, ME 176, ME 186

34. Meron ka bang org na sinalihan?
▪ YEs

35. Ano?
▪ UP CCC, UP Eng'g Soc, PSME-UPSU

36. Naniniwala ka ba na pag college ka na, matatagpuan mo ang true love mo at hindi sa highschool?
▪ ewan...

37. Embarassing moment?
▪ Pinagalitan ako ng prof ko one time sa harap ng classmates ko dahil nagtatanong ako sa katabi ko habang nagdidiscuss siya!!!

38. Unforgettable moment?
▪ When I got the text that I passed the auditions for DUP's Isang Panaginip Na Fili! Wohooo!!!

39. Pano gumalaw ang mga tao sa eskwelahan mo?
▪ MECHANICAL!!! pag may exam, aral, pag wala, DOTA!!!! Wahahahaha!!!!

40. Sosyal ka ba?
▪ basahin ulit ang title ng blog.

Dulaang UP's Isang Panaginip Na Fili On Net 25's TRIBE

2008-10-18T05:33:00.000-07:00

Guys, please watch TRIBE on Net 25 at 7:30pm tomorrow, October 19, 2008. This year's newest musical hit will be featured there. God bless!

UPCAT Movie: UP or Nothing?

2008-10-14T05:22:00.000-07:00

All Iskolars ng Bayan out there, this one's for us!

UPCAT Movie

Thanks to Miguel for posting this! =)

Sa Alaala Na Lang Ba Talaga? My 'Fili' Journey

2008-10-05T03:47:00.000-07:00

As promised, I will now write a dramatic farewell letter to everyone who became part of Dulaang UP's Isang Panaginip Na Fili.

Dramatic music please... (Maalaala mo kaya....)

July 16, 2008. The day that changed my life. The day that I will never forget. The day that I never imagined to happen even in my wildest dreams. It was a rainy Wednesday morning in the CAL library when I got the text message from someone who introduced herself as Angela, who happened to be the stage manager, congratulating me for being a part of the cast of Fili as chorus. I can still remember where I am seated when I read that message. The world seemed to stop but I can still hear the rain pouring. My heart pounded like it never pounded before. I almost cried during that moment. I wanted to shout and tell the whole world (especially those who don't believe that I can do it) that I passed the audition. I will be part of a legitimate theatre production for the very first time and take note, it's DUP! From that day on, the rain has been so memorable to me.

Ooopsss... Masyadong madrama ang intro. Palitan natin ang mood. So here it goes...

Praise God talaga 'coz He gave me this chance to be a part of a DUP play. Sabi ko nga kay God, pagkatapos nito Lord pwede mo na akong kunin. Joke! I've been asking Him for so long to give me this chance at ngayon ibinigay niya nga. I love You Lord! I got to brush elbows with the big names in the industry.

I didn't expect that we're gonna have the rehearsals on a daily basis even on weekends. Yikes! Add the fact that I'm still a student at the College of Engineering in UP. I realized that I need to sacrifice a lot of things to give way to my first professional theatre production. True enough, I learned to sacrifice the things that I love doing like hanging out with friends, playing DOTA with them, and having dinner with them. Kahit papaano, nakayanan ko naman na hindi makita ang mga kaibigan ko ng mahabang panahon para sa produksyong ito. But I got to meet new people in Fili, everyday strangers who suddenly became people I can't imagine living without. I'm so blessed to have them as friends. Sila ang madalas kong makasamang maghintay ng jeep pauwi, mag-dinner sa Philcoa, kumain ng ice cream sa mini-stop, kaasaran at kakwentuhan, at higit sa lahat, mga tunay na kaibigan. (Shucks drama nanaman!!!)

During the whole rehearsal period, I learned a lot of things. I learned to accept criticisms and use those to improve in my craft. May pressure sa bawat isa to be the best that he/she can be pero it's a good kind of pressure. Everyone gave their best talaga for this show, the tech staff, the prod staff, the backstage crew, the cast, everyone! Nakaka-overwhelm talaga na mag-rehearse ng 4 hours each day. Pero kahit ganun, nag-eenjoy naman ako. So sulit ang pagod at puyat.

There came a time na naging mechanical na ako sa pag-attend ng rehearsals na kahit walang rehearsal, I still look forward to that 5:30pm calltime. Actually, during the first few days of rehearsals, medyo ilang pa ako sa ilang mga tao pero as time goes by, I learned to love each and everyone. Masaya palang makasama ang mga taong 'to. I'm so thankful to God that I got to spend some time with these people na naging part na ng life ko for the past 3 months. Kaya it's so hard for me to let go of them and move on with my life. Kanina lang naiyak ako sa FC. Senti mode kasi ako kanina.

Rehearsals at Guerrero have been more exciting. Dito ko nakausap yung mga people whom I'm afraid to have a conversation with. Sa dressing room, nakilala ko lalo ang mga co-actors ko. Asaran kami at tawanan. Happy times! I'm glad to have shared that little room with them kahit minsan sobrang init at siksikan, masaya pa rin kami. At last, nakapasok na rin ako sa backstage ng Guerrero. Before kasi hanggang audience area lang ako. Haha! I've been so curious kung ano ang nasa backstage ng Guerrero.

These are the things na naging part ng life ko sa DUP at sobrang mami-miss ko:

-ang Where are you!? text ni Angela 'pag lampas na sa calltime at wala pa kami.

-Sky Flakes. Sino ang hindi makaka-miss nito?

-THY

-'Standby actors. Quiet backstage. No more crossing on stage. Open House!' -Angela

-the revolving door.

-the deadly staircase.

-ang mga warm-up exercises ni Mara na nakamamatay.

-the black spectacles.

-the fake Fili books na minsan nakikita ng audience kung ano ang nasa loob.

-warm-up songs na old school.

-Ang announcement ni Mara na "Sa pagdiriwang ng sentenaryo ng Unibersidad ng Pilipinas, inihahandog ng Dulaang UP sa pakikiisa ng, Office of the UP President, Office of the Chancellor, National Commission for Culture and the Arts, Office of Intitiatives in Culture and the Arts, Quezon City Mayor's Office Sonny "Serbisyong Bayan" Belmonte, Ballet Manila, Net 25, TV 5, at ng Philippine Amusement and Gaming Corporation. Sa ika-tatlumpu't tatlong taon nito ang, ISANG PANAGINIP NA FILI sa panulat at direksyon ni Floy Quintos. Musika ni CJ Javier at artistikong pamamatnubay ni Tony Mabesa. Pinaaalalahanan ang lahat na ang pagkain, pag-inom, paninigarilyo, pagkuha ng litrato o video o ang paggamit ng anumang electronic devices ay mahigpit na ipinagbabawal sa loob ng tanghalan. Maraming Salamat Po!" Na-memorize ko na siya!!!

-"Actors on stage for warm-up." -Martin Goli-Cruz

-The tampipis.

-The second floor stage right dressing room.

-Ang salakot na pinapahiram sa akin ni Louie.

-Ang blush on ni Jihad.

-Ang blush brush ni Gelo.

-Ang pencil sharpener ni Ren.

-Ang Managinip Ka Pa Stella Canete Remix.

-Rice-o-box.

-School bus ni Ma'am Ces.

-Bahay nila Gaerl.

-Freshie Walk.

-Yung Vitamin C na binigay ni Sir Floy.

-mini-stop philcoa.

-Chowking. McDo, and Jollibee Philcoa

-Charley's oregano tea na nagpagaling sa akin during the 2nd weekend run. I love you dear charley!

-Ang pangungulit ni Sir Greg sa Imuthis number.

-Ang pagko-chorus ni Jay sa last 2 shows.

-Ang paglabas ni JC as Macaraig.

-Yung oreo na dinadala ni Kuya Franco nung nagre-rehearse pa sa THY. I love oreo!

-Yung hat ko na may Philippines na nakasulat.

-Yung PET bottles ni Stellar na pinagdidikitan ng leukoplast.

-Gelo's prop box.

-Stage right CR na laging box office.

-Yung mga kandilang hindi nasindihan ni isang beses.

-Yung binigay ni Kuya Meynard na mini-cake nung opening night.

-Ang paniningil ni Sir Jacques ng bayad sa ticket while we're watching the Juli and Basilio scene in act 1.

-Gunshots sa 'Traydor' scene.

-"Kasi, nobela ko ito Tunying!!!" -Kuya Franco

-Eric's smiling face kahit binubugbog na.

-Ren's birthday treat at Shakey's Katipunan.

-Yung bleachers sa Guerrero theatre kung saan natulog ako during the last 2 weekend runs.

-Ang line ni Juli na "At pati ikaw napautang. Basilio ang laki ng halaga.."

-"Matanglawiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!!!!" -Ejay

-"Babersh!!" -Sir Floy

-"Chest!" -Gelo

-Yung center window sa balcony.

-Yung wig ni Paola na pang-shampoo commecial.

-Mga punchlines ni Ma'am Ces na laging bumebenta.

-Yung hiniram kong coat kay Allen during the 4th week run.

-Yung make-up remover na ako yata ang nakaubos.

October 4, 2008. Last day of our extended run. Yes! Nag-extend kami for one week. Our last show was a blast. Nag-uumapaw ang energy sa start pa lang. Sa Finale, hindi ko napigilang umiyak. Grabe! Hikbi-hikbi school of acting! At humagulgol na nga ako nung curtain call! Mixed emotions. I'm happy 'coz I got to perform with these people. I'm sad 'coz it has to end. Time flies so fast when you're having so much fun.

To the prod staff, I appreciate your hardwork. It's a pleasure working with you, a bunch of crazy but energetic and happy people. I love you all!

To Angela, you're the best! Congratulations! We won't be this successful without you. Astig ka!

To my Trumpets colleagues, Mica Pineda, RJ Solis, and Aljuri Pangilinan, We rock! Yeah! It's good to have people like you in my first professional theatre production. See you at Trumpets! A place to be a star! Yeah!

To the senior actors, thanks for being so nice and for igniting my passion for theatre.

To the chorus, ang galing natin!!! Congrats sa ating lahat! Sana makapag-work ulit tayo together.

Gelo, ikaw ang una kong nakausap na TaongBayan. Magkikita pa tayo.

Monique, 2nd week ng run ko lang nalaman na pinsan pala talaga kita. Haha! It's good to know na may kapamilya ako sa cast. All the best! Regards to Tito Bobby!

JM, salamat sa pagkwento ng mga bloopers.

Charley, thanks sa oregano tea. It really helped a lot. Love you dearie!

Jihad, mag-ingat ka palagi. Malay mo sa re-run maging Juli ka na rin. Managinip ka pa!!! Haha!

Candy, (si Purificacion) hindi na matutuloy ang kasal natin at hindi na magiging ninang si Joy, Charley, at Sheena dahil sa pagsalakay ng mga tulisan. Unless magkaroon ng re-run. Haha!!

Sheena, my English 11 classmate back when we're still freshies. At nandito pa rin tayo sa UP hanggang ngayon. Haha!! Makaka-graduate din tayo! Yeah!

Ren, tahimik ka pa dati. Ngayon ikaw na ang nagsisimula ng ingay! Haha! Thanks sa birthday treat!

Cannu, benta sa mga friends ko ang Boy Abunda style mo sa Magandang Balita! Haha!

Arkel, the best ang pagiging Imuthis mo kahit nakakalimot ka ng lyrics. Haha!! Lalo na yung may "Sige pa!!! Isa pa!!!" Salamat sa mga asaran natin sa dresing room. Mami-miss ko yun!

Jerson, Congrats sa pagiging Padre Irene!

Tita Emlyn, you've been a mother to most of us. I love you Tita!
Allen, thanks sa pagapapahiram mo ng coat during our last week run.

Jay, I'm glad that we're chums. Haha! Magkikita pa tayo!

Gaerl, thanks for helping me with my make-up during the pictorial at sa lighter na pinahiram mo nung inaayos ko yung eyeglasses ko.

Paola, thanks sa energy boosting session natin every opening number.

Tita Astarte and Tita Stella, our Maria Claras, my seatmates sa dressing room. Salamat po sa mga stories niyo about theatre life.

Tita Ces, thanks po sa pagpapasakay sa school bus niyo and for sending inspirational messages.

Joy and Eric, first blocking pa lang ng opening number may award na tayong tatlo. Haha!

Kuya Cholo, thanks for the things that you've taught us especially with our singing techniques. Thanks for believing that I can do it!

CJ, thanks for the nice music. I love it!

Kuya Onyl, my friends love you! You're a great actor!

Kuya Eric, you're an epitome of a hardworking theatre artist. Keep it up and continue to inspire more young striving artists!

Kuya Franco, nakakahawa ang energy mo on stage. Hope to work with you again soon.

Direk Floy, thanks for being so sweet to us.

Pepe Rizal, thanks for writing Fili and for believing in the Filipino youth.

To everyone, I hope this is not the last. All the best! I'm gonna miss you all!

God bless!!

The End Is Near! (Malapit Na!) LAST 2 SHOWS!!! SENTI MODE!!! Dulaang UP's Isang Panaginip Na Fili Comes To A Close :-(

2008-10-03T06:09:00.000-07:00

Pero dahil pagod na ako sa dalawang shows, hindi muna ako magpo-post ng senti letter na tulad ng ginawa ni Kuya Cholo at CJ. Bukas na lang after the cast party! Gosh! I'm gonna miss everyone. I love you all! See you at the cast party! Walang aabsent!!! Ok!? Smiling Face!!!

Dulaang UP's Isang Panaginip Na Fili (Last Shows/Extended Run) ;-(

2008-09-30T05:25:00.000-07:00

October 2, 2008 at 7pm
October 3, 2008 at 1pm and 7pm
October 4, 2008 at 10am and 3pm

Wilfrido Ma. Guerrero Theatre, 2nd Flr., Palma Hall, UP Diliman

'Eto lang ang masasabi ko: I'm gonna miss them all!!! Drama mode na!!!

Isang Linggong Bloopers Na Fili (3rd Week)

2008-09-29T02:41:00.000-07:00

This is it pansit!!! The 3rd week Top 10 bloopers of Dulaang UP's Isang Panaginip Na Fili! Thanks to JM, Kuya Franco, Arkel, Jihad, Kuya Onyl, (sa pag-amin sa kanilang mga bloopers =P) Jerson, and Ren! Haha! Some of these bloopers came from them. Enjoy! =)

10. MAGANDANG BALITA
Pepe: Et voila ang katapusan!!!
(Candy and Jihad enters from the secret door, excitedly. Stops. Realizing no one's following them. Panic panic panic!)
Pepe: Tunying!! (Snaps)
Donya Victorina: Magandang Balita!
(Everyone enters. Gian and Sabina laughing over Jihad and Candy's super early entrance.)

9. ANO ITONG MGA PANAGINIP PEPE RIZAL
Onyl: Sa kanyang kamay.... (seeing the kopita on his left hand).... sa 'kin nama'y kopita...

8. FINALE
Jeremy as Padre Florentino waiting for Kuya Onyl to give him the cue to throw the jewels
Jeremy: (waiting... waiting... waiting...)
Kuya Onyl: Blah.. blah... blah...
Jeremy: (waiting...)
Kuya Onyl: end of line. (no cue)
Jeremy: throws the jewels on his own cue. exits.
Jeremy: (backstage) nakalimutan nanaman ng lola mo ang linya nya!!!

7. MALAPIT NA
Everyone: Malapit Na! Malapit Na! Malapit Na!
Kuya Franco snaps, semi-blackout! Hindi namatay ang side lights!
The company stood onstage, frozen, hindi alam ang gagawin, waiting for the lights to totally fade out. Waiting waiting waiting...
Lights fade out. Applause!!!
Nakahinga na rin at naka-exit!

6. MAGANDANG BALITA
Featuring JM as Basilio and RJ Solis as Isagani
RJ: Matagal nang nangulimlim ang lahat sa buhay ko. Isinantabi ko si Paulita at ngayon, para na siya sa iba...
JM: Makinig ka... ang buong bulwagan ay sasabog BASILIO!!!

5. ARGUMENT OF PEPE AND TUNYING
Featuring Kuya Franco as Pepe and Kuya Onyl as Tunying
Kuya Onyl: Mga salita pepe... salita ng isang duwag na intelektwal ng inutil...
Kuya Franco: Aaaga.... (pause) Kung ang ating bayan ay magiging malaya.... (and kuya Franco totally forgot his line.)

4. IMUTHIS ANG NGALAN KO
Featuring Arkel as Imuthis
Taong Bayan: Bakit? Anong kasalanan?
Arkel: aaaaaahhhhhh..... aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.... (with the #%*$&#^?@!-nakalimutan-ko-nanaman-ang-lyrics expression at muntik pang mahulog sa steps) ng Pareng Mago... Kinaiingitan ako ng isang naririto...

3. BASILIO AND HERMANA BALE'S ARGUMENT
Featuring JM as Basilio and Tita Marili as Hermana Bale
Tita Marili: Pero... mananatili kami... (long pause)...
JM: (waiting for her to say the right words...)
Tita Marili: Dito! (end of argument!!!)

2. ARGUMENT OF PEPE AND TUNYING
Pepe: Kung ang ating bayan ay magiging malaya, hindi ito sa masamang hilig at pagkakasala...
Onyl: Aahhh.... Mga retorika pepe, retorika lang yang mga yan!!!
Pepe: ang pagtutubos ay manggagaling sa kabanalan, ang kabanalan ay manggagaking sa pagpapakasakit...
Onyl: Retorika! Retorika nga lang yan eh.... (ang kulit!!!)

At eto na ang pinakahihintay ng lahat!!!

Drum Roll please!!!

1. KARSEL SCENE
Featuring Eric as Simoun
Eric: Ngayon, makalalaya ka na. Lumipad ka papuntang Laguna, AFTER non, gawin ang nararapat para kay Juli...
(Murmur murmur ang audience)

Sosyal pala si Simoun!! Haha!!

Ano na kaya ang mga mangyayari sa 4th week? Hmmm!!!

Isang Linggong Bloopers Na Fili (3rd Week)

2008-09-29T00:55:00.000-07:00

Fili Friends Help!!!

2008-09-28T04:03:00.000-07:00

Kulang pa ang list ng top 10 bloopers ko for the 3rd week. Meron pa ba kayong ibang alam?

The Greatest Show We've Had So Far! We're Off To Our 4th Week!

2008-09-26T07:10:00.000-07:00

Friday. September 26, 2008. There are only two things I have in mind upon waking up: I need to do something for my undergrad paper completion and I have two shows today. So there! I woke up 6am (I barely had enough sleep) to get myself going. I planned to finish my ME 136 project (for make-up labwork na rin since I was super duper late for the deadline of that project) at an earlier time because we have a calltime at 11am but our instructor won't allow me to use the shop equipment. Another class is going to use it during that time. So nasayang lang ang paggising ko ng maaga. Anyway, I went straight to the Eng'g library instead to research for my undergrad paper. Et Voila! Medyo na-distract ako sa phone ko sa pagdidiscover ko ng mga features nito. Haha! Kaya wala rin ako masyadong na-research. I found a few useful information though for my paper.

11am. Konti palang ang tao pagdating ko sa Guerrero. I overheard Angela and some other Fili people talking about last night's performance. Medyo low energy kasi last night. So we had negative feedback for last night's performance. Award ito! Before the company prayer for the 1pm extra show, Ma'am Ces and Sir Jacques tolds us about the negative feedback we got the night before and gave us some reminders on how we can get ourselves in the right shape to perform. Thank God natapos din ang 1pm show. Sobrang pagod talaga ako after. We had 1 hour pa before the calltime for the regular 7pm show kaya nakatulog ako kahit sandali lang. First time kong natulog sa audience area. Thanks to Louie and EJ! =) So warm up then vocalize then make-up then costume then company call.

I think the company call we had kanina before the 7pm show was the longest so far. Na-open up kasi yung nangyari last night. So a few of the senior actors in the production gave us some notes and reminders for the show to be better than what we did during the previous week. To tell you honestly, andami kong natutunan from them. They might be giving us words of discipline but it was a pleasure to be taught by these big people in the production. Intimidating as they may seem, they do their best to reach out to us and give us pieces of advice which can help us master the craft.

The 7pm show had an energetic opening and we got the loudest applause for it so far. So tinuloy na namin hanggang matapos ang show. If Sir Floy would put it into his words: Adik adik na tayo! Super buhay ang audience! They were a combination of high school and college students. The best audience we got so far. =) During the curtain call, I was surprised to see almost all of the people watching standing on their feet clapping, shouting, and cheering for us. Astig! It was the greatest feeling ever! I was super blessed by the performance last night! Praise GOD!!! I want to thank Sir Jacques, Ma'am Ces, Kuya Franco, Sir Peter, Ma'am Stella, Kuya Meynard, and Kuya Eric for giving us those pieces of advice. It did help a lot in our performance. I hope that I would give the same amount of energy in the remaining shows. God bless us all!

Week 4, Here we come!

LAST SHOW OPEN!!!

2008-09-24T04:12:00.000-07:00

To those who aren't affected by spoilers and who still plan to watch the show (and if you love me... ), mark October 2 on your calendars. Don't miss this magical show!

Last show open:
October 2, 2008
7pm
Wilfrido Ma. Guerrero Theatre, 2nd Flr., Palma Hall, UP Diliman

Tickets at Php250
Php150 for UP students
Php180 for paying guests

Isang Linggong Bloopers Na Fili (2nd Week)

2008-09-21T02:17:00.000-07:00

Tulad ng pagiging hit ng Isang Panaginip Na Fili, naging hit din ang Top 10 bloopers ko during the first week. Kaya guys, ituloy natin ang ligaya. Drum roll please....

Presenting the 2nd Week Top 10 Bloopers of Isang Panaginip Na Fili!!!

Applause!!! Applause!!!

10. MALAPIT NA/CUIDAO KAYO DYAN
During the chaotic scene with Tales, Basilio, Tulisanes, and the Taongbayans with the tampipis...
Gian: Inay, Inay? (To Candy) Nasaan si Inay?
Candy: Hindi ko alam? Nandyan na ba ang lahat? (Opening the tampipi)
Gian: Walang laman...
Candy: Natatawa ako... (giggles)
Gian: Saan na tayo pupunta PURIFICACION?
Gian and Candy: (turned away from the audience... giggles...)

9. ANO ITONG MGA PANAGINIP (OPENING NUMBER)
Onyl: Masarap pang makipag-harutan kaysa makipag-TANGGALIAN!!!
Mara: (backstage) Ano raw?

8. MAY BAGONG KATATAKUTAN/CUIDAO KAYO DYAN!
Taongbayan: Cuidao Cuidao Cuidao kayo dyan! Taongbayan ba may dapat katakutan!?
Gelo: Cuidao Cuidao Cuidao kayo dyan! MAY BAGONG TULISAN na dapat katakutan!

7. MAY TIWALA AKO
Juli: ...Ama sa piling mo...
Ate Marili: Juli!!!
Kuya Meynard: Juli... (drooling drooling drooling... na-Juli na sa cue... Mental block? =P ) ang anak ng kinatatakutang Kabesang Tales na ngayon ay si Matanglawin na...

6. OPENING OF ACT 2
Donya Victorina: ...Pero kung si Juanito ang iyong makakasama...
Paulita: ...siya na nga Tiya.... Juanito!!!
Allen: Ano yon mahal kong PAOLITA!!! (with his Doraemon voice)

5. HUDYAT SCENE
EJ: MATANGLAWIN!!!!
Kuya Greg: Bababa....bakit?? Nanana...nandito ako!!!

4. OPENING OF ACT 2
RJ C.: Ang akademiya natn pinayagan na!
JM: O eh anong problema?
RJ C.: Pinayagan na nga ng Gobernador Heneral, pero ang magpapalakad nito ay ang mga PRAYLI!!! Bale wala din!

3. SA KARSEL
Onyl: Hindi mo ako naiintindihan Basilio! Naiintindihan mo ako hindi ba???

2. MAY BAGONG KATATAKUTAN/CUIDAO KAYO DYAN!
Onyl: Lahat ng kombento?
Arkel: Oo.
Onyl: Pati ang kombento ng Sta. Clara?
Arkel: EWAN!

At ang award-winning blooper of the week...

drum roll please....

1. ANG NGALAN KO'Y IMUTHIS
Arkel: Imuthis ang ngalan, hanap ko'y kalaban. Isang saserdoteng mapaglinlang. Pareng manloloko... aaaahhhhhhh... aaaaahhhhhhh... (and the chanting continues...)
Taongbayan: Bakit? Anong kasalanan?
Arkel: aaaaahhhhh...... aaaaaahhhhhhh...... (and the chanting continues)
Taongbayan: Siya mismo?
Arkel: aaaaahhhhhh..... aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh.....
Taongbayan: At bakit siya naiinggit sa'yo? Dali, ituloy ang kwento? (Anong kwento?)

Dulaang UP's Isang Panaginip Na Fili EXTENDED RUN: October 2, 2008, 7pm October 4, 2008, 10am and 3pm Wilfrido Ma. Guerrero Theatre, 2nd Flr., Palma Hall, U.P. Diliman, Q.C. Buy your tickets now!!!

Dulaang UP's Isang Panaginip Na Fili Extended Run

2008-09-21T02:04:00.000-07:00

Due to insistent public demand and the overflowing energy of everyone in the production, we will be extending our run! Yeah!!! Here are the skeds:

October 2, 2008, Thursday, 7pm
October 4, 2008, Saturday, 10am and 3pm

Hindi pa kasama diyan yung mga additional shows na exclusive para sa iba't ibang schools. All in all, we have 5 additional shows. But there are rumors that we might go into week 5. Wow!! Kaadikan na ito!! Haha!!!

Kaya guys, bili na kayo ng tickets! Nagkakaubusan na! Daig pa ang NFA rice!!!

Tickets at Php250
for UP students: Php150
for paying guests: Php180

P.S. If interested to be a paying guest, just PM me.

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!

2008-09-19T11:33:00.000-07:00

As of 6AM this morning (September 20, 2008), I'm officially sick!!! =( Tinamaan din ng sakit si Higad Man! Whoever happens to drop by this announcement, please pray for me. I have 4 shows this weekend and I have loads of schoolwork to do.

Dulaang UP's
ISANG PANAGINIP NA FILI

Written and Directed by Floy C. Quintos Music by CJ Javier Arranged by Jason Quitane Choral Master: Cholo C. Gino Artistic Consultant: Tony Mabesa

September 10-28, 2008 Wilfrido Ma. Guerrero Theatre, 2nd Flr., Palma Hall, UP Diliman, Quezon City

Tickets at Php 250 Php 180 for paying guests Php 150 for UP students

13 More Shows To Go Plus 5 More! DUP's ISANG PANAGINIP NA FILI Is A Hit!

2008-09-17T15:05:00.000-07:00

Yes you heard it right! We have 5 additional shows as requested by different schools! Yeba!! And that includes a 3pm show and a 7pm show on a single day! Congrats to all of us! By the way, I heard that HINABING PAKPAK NG ATING MGA ANAK, DUP's season opener this year, will be brought to a theatre festival somewhere in Europe. Congrats Hinabing Pakpak people! Ang Fili kaya saan dadalhin? Hmmmm...

Isang Linggong Bloopers Na Fili

2008-09-14T01:28:00.000-07:00

After Fili's first week, eto, pagod ako at malat. Haaayyy... I was kinda frustrated with my performances this week. At siyempre, meron din akong award from Sir Tony! Haha!!! I was doing that thing since the opening tapos ngayon ko lang nalaman na hindi pala ganon. Haaayyy... Ka-award-award talaga! Anyway, since malungkot ako ngayon dahil sa mga nangyari, ishe-share ko na lang ang Top 10 award-winning bloopers and playtimes during the first week of Isang Panaginip na Fili.

10. MALAPIT NA!!!
Company: Malapit na! Malapit na! Malapit na!
Black out
Sounds: tug tug tug... (the mic bouncing on one of the windows because one chorus member pushed on the balcony frame. I think it's Joy. Haha!)

9. MALAPIT NA!!!
TaongBayan(enetring the balcony): Ooooohhhh... oooooohhhhh... oooooohhhhh....
Joy: Malapit Naoooooohhhhh.... ooooooohhhh... oooooooohhhh....

8. CUIDAO KAYO DIYAN
Slow motion to the staircase...
Jihad: (showing the Akademiya ng Wikang Kastila Poster to ate Mary Jane)
Mary Jane: Shut up!!!
Jihad: giggles...

7. MAY BAGONG KATATAKUTAN
Sa middle window with Gelo, Aljuri, Jihad, and RJ Solis.
Gelo: Paano na ang bayan?
Jihad: Paano na ang kababaihan?
Gian: Paano na ang kabaklaan?!?
Jihad: Huwag kayong magpatawa ng ganyan, mahihirapan tayong mag-act! (in character pa rin)

6. MAY BAGONG KATATAKUTAN
While Kabesang Tales (Sir Greg) is singing to them...
Jerson(to Carlito): Sino ba yan?
Carlito: Bakla!?!
Jerson(turning back): giggles...

5. Opening of Act 2
Tita Emy: (as Donya Victorina) Magalit ka na kung magagalit ka sa akin Paulita pero hinding hindi ako papayag na manood ka sa palabas na Espinghe na yan kung ang makakasama mo ay si Isagani, pero kung si Paulito... aaaaayyyyy.... Juanito ang makakasama mo...

4. CUIDAO KAYO DIYAN
Gian:(after the 2nd bar upon entering the balcony) URONG SULONG ANG BAPOR WALANG KATIYAKAN!!! (looks to the others...)
Others:(after the 4TH BAR!) Urong sulong ang bapor walang katiyakan....
(in short, nag-solo ako sa part na yun na sobrang nakakahiya at ang lakas pa ng boses ko... Wahahahaha!!!)

3. PAGSUBOK AT PAGPILI
Onyl(as Simoun): Siya nga pala, wala ba kayong mga lumang alahas na maaaring ibenta o isangla? O di kaya'y ipagpalit?
Jeremy(as Tata Selo): (handing out the relikwaryo/jewel to Simoun)
Onyl: Ano ito?

2. MAY BAGONG KATATAKUTAN
Tulisanes: (singing) Sa labas ng batas may kapangyarihan. Sa likod ng armas ang aming kaganapan. Sa batas ni Matanglawin,
Christian: LAHAT NG BUWAYA'Y ALI-ALIPIN!!!
Tulisanes: WALANG ALI-ALIPIN!!!

at ang nasa top ng list...

drum roll!!!!

1. Opening of Act 2
Carlo:(as Ben Zayb): Donya Victorina, mukhang pumpayat ka?
Sir Cholo(as Donya Victorina): Oo naman, araw--araw yata akong nag-EEXERCISE!!!

Guys, watch Dulaang UP's Isang Panaginip na Fili at the Wilfrido Ma. Guerrero Theatre, UP Diliman. We'll be running 'til the 28th. Wednesday to Friday at 7pm and Saturday and Sunday at 10am and 3pm. Tickets at Php250. Php150 for UP students currently enrolled this semester. Php180 for paying guests. Just text me if you want to be a paying guest(recommended for people not enrolled in UP). See you there!

A Night To Remember: DUP's Isang Panaginip na Fili Opening Night

2008-09-10T06:25:00.000-07:00

We had the house full. We got our standing ovation. We made history. We'll do it again tomorrow.

Every moment on stage was an opportunity to tell stories. Stories on how we put up the show. Stories on how difficult it was to wear that costume. Stories on how the illustrados feel and act during the time of Fili. Stories that can lead to other stories. It was the magic of Fili that brought those stories altogether into one great story. A story of revenge, revolution, greed, hope, and most of all, love. The story won't be a story without that last element.

"It's a pandemonium outside!" according to Sir Floy during our company call before the show. (I got the chance to ask Gelo what pandemonium means during our standby backstage. Haha!! All I know is that it was used as a tagline for Kung Fu Panda! Haha!!!) Well indeed it was. We heard people murmuring and laughing and clapping (yes, ang ingay nila!) while we were on standby backstage. And it got us really excited! The opening number was a blast! Ang galing! Our escalating energies brought chills to the audience. We owe everything to them! They're just super responsive during each scene. It was the magic of theatre indeed!

For me, it was a night to remember having my first opening night on the DUP stage. Let's continue to bring more magic on the stage of Guerrero in the coming days. God bless us all! Break a leg guys!!!

Fili Preview

2008-09-09T06:01:00.000-07:00

After 2 months of hard work, the real work begins. Yeah! Isang Panaginip na Fili had a preview run earlier this evening, September 9, 2008, at the Wilfrido Ma. Guerrero Theatre. Praise God for a nice show! Everyone really worked hard to make this show a hit. Oh, did I just say a hit? 'Coz it definitely will! Combine the genius of Mr. Floy Quintos and the extraordinary musical talents of CJ Javier and Cholo C. Gino and you will get intense chills upon leaving Guerrero. The best talaga! The lights, the costumes, the set, and the actors, put them all together and you will have a great show that can be brought either to a Broadway or a West End stage. (Ayan Sir Cholo, pwede nang mag-International Cast Recording. Haha!)

Kudos to the cast and production team of Isang Panaginip na Fili! May God bless our upcoming shows!

Living In A New World, Longing For The Old One

2008-09-06T07:20:00.000-07:00

Before getting into the real thing, I just wanna share these excerpts from the song The New World from the musical Songs for a New World by Jason Robert Brown.

A new world calls across the ocean
A new world calls across the sky
A new world whispers in the shadows
Time to fly, time to fly...

And you're suddenly a stranger
There's no explaining where you stand
And you didn't know
That you sometimes have to go
‘Round an unexpected bend
And the road will end In a new world ...

It's about one moment
That moment you think you know where you stand
And in that one moment
The things that you're sure of slip from your hand
And you've got one second
To try to be clear, to try to stand tall
But nothing's the same
And the wind starts to blow

And you're suddenly a stranger
In some completely different land
And you thought you knew
But you didn't have a clue
That the surface sometimes cracks
To reveal the tracks To a new world...

Ano nanaman 'to? Haha! Ayan siguro iisipin ng ibang makakabasa nito. Pathetic talaga si Gian!!! Haha! Anyway, it's 2am in the morning at kagagaling ko lang sa rehearsal. Yeah! 2am na! Actually we had dinner pa at Shakey's Katipunan. Ren's treat for his 26th. Yeah! Pizza and chicken galore! Most of the cast members were there kaya super saya and ingay! And it's all for free! Yeba!! Thanks Ren! Next year ulit ha!?

For most of my friends, naging 'aparisyon' na lang ako sa mga bonding activities and all that jazz these past few weeks. I was too busy with acads and of course, Fili rehearsals. We've been rehearsing for that show ever since July this year kaya I can say na naging close na rin ako sa mga cast members. Sila ba naman yung makasama mo everyday for two and a half months, hindi pa ba kayo magiging close nun? For two months, I would spend my nights with them learning new songs, putting on different characters, having late dinners, walking in UP at night time, etc. I never had a dull moment with them. Ang saya lagi! I was surprised na ganun ako kabilis na naging close sa kanila. And one more thing, I can be myself whenever I'm with them. Thank God I've found this crazy bunch of people. Yes, as in super crazy nila! May mga nilalang pala na ganun! Haha! New world talaga for me. I want to thank God for giving me this chance to know these people. Kahit two months pa lang kaming magkakakilala, parang we've known each other na since birth! (Just kidding! =P ) Actually, 3 weeks na lang kaming magkakasama-sama. Start na kasi ng run ng show. Kaya ayun! Kung ako lang, ayoko pa talagang mag-show not because I'm nervous or afraid of performing but because of the fact that we'll be living our own lives after the run.

This production really demands a lot of my time. I actually gave up a lot of things just for this. I even have to sacrifice spending my weekends with my family and attending weekly worship service and fellowship with my family-in-Christ. I miss doing those things. Whenever I'm alone, I really long to do those. I keep on telling myself that this might be God's way of diverting my attention to some other things and not to those silly struggles again. True enough, I was able to focus more on improving myself as a legitimate theatre actor and not as a person dealing with matters of the heart. I told myself that I've moved on now and I don't have time going back to where I was before. I'm a different person indeed.

Two (or three) nights ago, I was able to spend a little time with one of my families-in-Christ. I wasn't expecting him to be in that place since it's too late in the evening and he usually goes home at around 10pm. So ayun, kwentuhan kami. Tapos dumating sa point na tinanong niya ako na 'Bakit ka lumalayo sa amin? Hindi mo na ba kami mahal?' Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako dahil nami-miss nila ako or malulungkot ako dahil akala nila ay tuluyang lumayo na ako! I don't know what to say! Parang gusto kong mag-evaporate at that moment. So I keep on giving him reasons na kina-counter-attack niya. Na-frustrate yata siya sa mga reasons ko and I think medyo nagalit din siya. Ewan! Hindi ko ine-expect na ganun yung magiging attitude niya that night. Siya yung huling taong ineexpect ko to act that way. I wanna cry at that moment. Somehow, naging guilty din kasi ako na lumalayo ako sa kanila, especially sa kanya because we've had some misunderstandings earlier this sem. So I thought that being distant from him would do me good. Actually, it did. It's just that nawala yung fellowship namin.

He made me realize that I'm important to him. Not just to him but to every person in our family. Honestly speaking, hindi ko naman kasi talaga naramdaman na ganun talaga ako ka-importante. I feel like na kahit na hindi ako magparamdam sa kanila ng ilang weeks, wala lang sa kanila. Besides, marami na rin naman silang bagong kilala. So they won't bother looking for me. Pero, na-miss ko rin naman sila. Promise! Everytime na kasama ko yung mga friends ko sa DUP, hindi ko maiwasang mag-isip kung ano ginagawa nila at that very moment na nag-eenjoy ako with my new friends. Sila kaya? Once in a while be iniisip nila kung ano ginagawa ko at tinatanong ba nila kung nasaan ako? Haha! Funny! Super sentimental ko talaga. Hindi na yata maaalis sa akin 'to. I think this is how God made me. And I'm thankful for that. I hope that someday, I would really find a good reason to be sentimental.

Since three weeks na lang kaming magkakasama-sama sa DUP, lulubus-lubusin ko na ang mga sandali. Sobrang mami-miss ko talaga 'tong mga taong 'to na nakakasabay ko pag-uwi sa dis oras ng gabi. If I were to choose, sana sa November (or next year) pa ang show namin. Haha! Hindi ko alam kung pa'no ako tatanggapin ng mga tinuring kong pamilya dito sa Q.C. after ng run ng show namin. My plan was to really go back in fellowship with them after the run. Na-miss ko kasi sila eh. Tanggapin pa kaya nila ako just like before? Or baka magbago na tingin nila sa akin? Feeling ko kasi marami na ring nagbago sa kanila. Things change. People change most especially. If God found favor in me joining DUP, let me be His special guest! If not, then let me be where I should be.

Keeping The PASSION Alive!

2008-08-01T14:29:00.000-07:00

Finally! I saw Chris Tomlin perform live last night at PASSION Manila at the Ultra! Praise God!

I didn’t expect that PASSION Manila would have a great impact in me. I excused myself from a musical theatre rehearsal just to attend this event. Little did I know that God is preparing something for me. Something great that even I can’t fathom. I was really blessed by the story of Ashley. She lived a short Christian life but her life was never wasted.

I was so blessed to be a part of the crowd. Singing and dancing out loud for God even though my voice can’t take it anymore. I won’t mind if I come to our musical theatre rehearsal on Monday with this kind of voice. What's more important is that I used my voice for His renown.

I don’t know why I suddenly burst into tears while singing Amazing Grace. Maybe for a fact that I’ve been living a sinful life during the past few months (or years). I can't even hear my cry because people are shouting and singing for God. I just stood there and cried. I recalled the crazy stuff I did that really hurt people around me, things that really hurt Jesus. What did I do with my life? Jesus doesn’t deserve this kind of payment after saving me from death on that cross. My life is a total mess I should say.

But like what “Fruitcake” said, we Christians are not perfect. But the very essence of being a Christian is living a life that is fully dependent (is that the right word?) on God’s grace. Amazing indeed! I can say that this is really crazy!

What happened last night is an awesome and unique experience for me. After months (or years) of being deaf to God’s Word, I’m finally revived! Praise God for that! Thanks to the whole team of PASSION Manila for letting us, Filipinos, experience this. I’m really blessed by the music, the Word, the dancing, and the PASSION that’s in the heart of the people there.

God! You are in this city. 'For greater things are yet to come and greater things are still to be done in this city.'

To God be the Glory! God bless PASSION! Our prayers are with you.

KL! Get ready!!!

Visit 268blog.com for more details about the tour.

Just Like The C(Cliche)-Clamp

2008-07-25T14:02:00.000-07:00

Woke up lazily yesterday morning. Fridays have never been this boring, damn boring! I finished my Power Point presentation before going to school to meet with my scene partner in Theatre 12 and to block our scene. We have yet to memorize our piece. Gosh! we'll be the first pair to perform on Wednesday! Ack! Pressure on the way!

Got to the Engineering Metal Works Shop earlier than usual. This is actually the reason why I hate Fridays nowadays. I hate doing lab works during Fridays.

I hate spending 3 freaking hours in the soon-to-be demolished Engineering Shops. It's super hot in there and full of dust and crap. Oh well! I have no choice but to spend some of my precious time there. Two of my classmates were there finishing their projects as I entered the shop. By the way, we are to make a C-clamp from scratch. To kill the boring and lazy feeling, I turned my mp3 player on and listen to Jeremy Camp. It's so great working with music! As in! Jeremy Camp is damn good! Love his songs very much. I can relate to each of his songs.

I started working as the music played. I sing heartily while filing my C-clamp, slowly but surely. My classmates were like awestruck with my work. "Wow, ang kinis! Pwede ng manalamin!" Haha!! I was so damn good! Thanks to the advice of the manongs there. Hehe! Chillax lang guys! May next week pa to finish the project. Haha!

One thing I hate about the C-clamp material is that it easily gets rusted. You file it today then tomorrow it will turn red with rust. So you need to file it again. Damn it! I hate doing the same thing twice especially if you don't like what you're doing. So it means, next week, I need to file the surfaces of the C-clamp again. Haaayyy... Filing that thing over and over again is just super tiring! I can choose to leave it there for a while but I don't want it to get even rustier until it can't be filed anymore.

Something's going on in my head as I do my project. What am I gonna do after graduation? Will I be able to finish well? Will I spend my weekend with my family? What do I really want to do with my life? What are my plans in life? How am I gonna do my report on Monday? How am I gonna start my ME 155 project? Haaayyy... Nakakapagod mag-isip until I notice my C-clamp. Nakakapagod ding mag-file. If only this freaking piece of metal doesn't get rusty at all, my job would be easier.

A thought suddenly came into my mind. (Cliche na 'to. =P) I saw myself as the C-clamp. (So what? We've heard that story a lot of times!) Oftentimes, I get rusty as I do a lot of stupid things that destroy myself. I dwell on so many temporal things. I think of impure thoughts. I hurt a lot of people. I have a callous heart. Rusty! Very rusty indeed. Whenever I feel this way, I always go back to my Creator. Then He will be the One who will file me. He will be the One who will refine me. He will be the One who will cleanse me. After being filed, I will go back to my old ways. Then I will get rusty again. Then my Creator would take me back and cleanse me and refine me once again. Then the cycle continues like a saga of never-ending struggles.

I started asking myself, does my Creator ever gets tired of filing me over and over again? Hindi ba siya nagsasawa sa mga struggles ko na paulit ulit lang? Hindi ba siya naiinis sa akin because I'm not growing in my faith? Did He ever thought of leaving me there and watch me rust more?

But thank heavens my Creator is not like that! I just realized that even though I keep on going away from Him, He will always be there to wait for me and welcome me in His arms of love. Just like a Father who longs to be with his son. Just like a Friend who wants to spend time with you. Just like a Teacher who will teach you so many things. Just like a God who never fails. God loves me more than I could ever imagine. It has always been my prayer that I may know Him more, that I may trust Him with every detail of my life. I wanna thank Him for giving me this chance to live and experience this kind of love, a love that overflows that I can't contain. God loves me so much! And I think that's enough reason for me to be glad.

Thanks to Manuel Portento Jr. whose hands are shown in the picture above. =P You saved the day!

Not Another Blog Entry From Me

2008-07-09T14:24:00.000-07:00

People change. Things change. Perhaps these are the most depressing words that I've ever heard. I never thought that things would end up this way. Here I go again. Putting my heart out on this 'imagined reality' of mine as if someone would listen, as if someone would care. I bet most of the people who would at least read the title of this piece of crap would tell me, 'God will be there for you,' 'God cares,' 'I can pray for you,' 'Depend on God,' etc, etc. As if those words would immediately ease the burden. Of course not. It's really effortless to say those words, even an unbeliever can say that to me. It takes some time for a person to believe that especially if you're in the same situation as mine.

I'm tired of people saying that they miss me so much but in reality, they would just like to make a clean image of themselves, that they 'really' care for me. Same with people who would say they would love to spend time with me but when I get the chance to spend time with them, they won't even notice me and they would be busy playing games with the same group of people from God-knows-where over and over again. Some would even choose to spend time in front of their new laptops than spending a second or two with me. Imagine having these kinds of people whom you consider as your 'family.' After taking everything they could from me, they would just throw me away. They're not my family after all.

It's always been like this! When will I learn to accept the fact that people change, that they don't want to spend too much of their freaking time with me? When will I learn to do things on my own not depending on them? God! I'm so tired of it! How will I be able to grow in my faith if those people who are meant to help me are the ones who pull me to the depths of the earth? When will I learn to change?

Things really have changed. If you think that this is an issue about me feeling neglected, rejected, and taken for granted, congratulations! Yes! It's definitely true! THE BIGGEST LOSER ON EARTH is born once and for all! Bullies, jerks, and suckers (it's up to you what do you wanna call yourself, but for me you're all just the same!), come and get me! This is your chance to show the world how 'strong' and how STUPID you all are!

Trumpets Playshop Presents...

2008-05-02T20:29:00.000-07:00

Never turn back
'coz what's ahead
can only make us
Stronger than ever,
Clearer than ever,
and

Closer than Ever

May 24, 2008
6:30pm
AFP Theatre, Camp Aguinaldo, Quezon City

The Cast
Pam Alfaro
Gian Alvarez
Carlo Convento
Minerva Delena
B De Vera
Nico Dominguez
Karla Escoto
Matthew Estabillo
Ann Fernandez
Jen Orlina
Valerie Reyes
Chinggay Ridad
Paul Rosales
Maynard Samson
Francis Santos
Nadz So
Isabelle Yujuico
and Rolls

Direction
Sweet Plantado-Tiongson

Choreography
Red Concepcion

Stage Management
JC Gotinga

Tickets at Php 150 each

No Sense At All

2008-04-30T21:30:00.000-07:00

Super busy with my internship and stuff. Got a taste of the real engineering world (and it truly sucks!). Tired of getting up early in the morning everyday to get to that internship. Feeling always left out (and bitter) whenever I'm with my (old) friends...

One day I was dying to finish my power plant design and woke up the next morning realizing that all of a sudden, the things I've mentioned above became my life. I don't know of I'm gonna be happy with this for one part of my soul says that this is where I ought to but another part says that I should look for the place where my heart really wants to.

For almost 1 month now, I'm living this kind of life. But what the heck! I know this won't take so long. (So much for the drama right?) I would be back to my real life after a month. I would be back finishing that power plant design (sigh...). I would be back doing the things I really love to. I would be back realizing that happiness is just around the corner and it could be as simple as a warm hug from a real (long lost) friend.

What Major Is Right For You?

2008-04-19T20:45:00.000-07:00

Got this from Chevy. Makes sense. :)

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?

You scored as a Physics/Engineering/Computer

You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Engineering, or Physics, or related majors (e.g., Architecture, Astronomy, Astrophysics, Biochemistry, Chemical Engineering, Chemistry, Civil Engineering, Computer Engineering, Computer/Management Information Systems (CIS/MIS), Computer Science, Electrical Engineering, Genetics, Environmental Science, Industrial Engineering, Mathematics, Mechanical Engineering).

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.

Physics/Engineering/Computer

88%

Education/Counseling

88%

Biology/Chemistry/Geology

81%

Mathematics/Statistics

69%

Religion/Theology

69%

HR/BusinessManagement

56%

Visual&PerformingArts

50%

English/Journalism/Comm

50%

French/Spanish/OtherLanguage

50%

Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health

50%

Accounting/Finance/Marketing

44%

History/Anthropology/LiberalArts

38%

Psychology/Sociology

31%

PoliticalScience/Philosophy

25%

Random 30

2008-03-01T16:10:00.000-08:00

Sa mga walang magawa na dapat may ginagawa... This is soooooooooo crazy! Find out for yourself. Got this from Athena Tibi. Haha!! Patawa talaga 'to!!!

Can you name 30 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 30 people. NO CHEATING!

1. Melvin Abundo
2. Flo Legaspi
3. Dwight Enriquez
4. Imay Barroga
5. Laila Titular
6. Cha Quirante
7. Eki Billones
8. Eka Ramos
9. Goya Pableo
10. Mike Roxas
11. Lester Balante
12. Al dela Torre
13. Revin Santos
14. George Valencia
15. Marvin Laguerta
16. Rayj
17. Ryan Valencia
18. Leah Paulino
19. Neil Pagsuguiron
20. Philip (an exchange student from Korea)
21. Diony Hipolito
22. Andrew Marfori
23. Karen Capacia
24. Lester Lim
25. Athena Tibi (sa kanya galing 'to)
26. Gelo Urrete
27. Jopi Companero
28. Paulo Barrameda
29. Emman Anez
30. Oey Magpantay

1. How did you meet 10?

= He's my classmate in ME 131, ME 122, ME 187, ME 183 this sem. Last sem, ME 186.

2. What would you do if you had never met 6?
= Ewan ko. Basta I know I'm glad I've met her.

3. What would you do if 20 and 15 dated?

= hindi pwede... they're both guys...

4. If you could marry between 16 and 14 who will it be?
= hindi rin pwede...

5. Did you ever like 9?
= of course.. she's my sister-in-Christ.

4. Have you ever seen 4 cry?
= Yes!!! Haha! During the PSME-UPSU Applicant's Orientation. Go Imay!!!

5. Would 4 and 17 make a good couple?
= nope... guy pareho...

6. Would number 1 and 2 make a good couple?
= nope...

7. Describe 8:

= lovable. my favorite sister-in-Christ!

8. Do you like 12?

= he's my DG leader...

9. Tell me something about 17
= He's CCC's Mr. Photogenic.

10. What's 7's favorite color?

= green?

11. What would you do if 1 just confessed he or she liked you?
= he likes me as a brother! :)

12. When was the last time you talked to number 15?
= Last tuesday sa brotherhood...

13. How do you think 19 feels about you?
= He's my BESTFRIEND!!! Miss you neil!!

14. What language does 13 speak?
= Chinese? Joke! Chinito eh! Hehe! Filipino yan!!! Roommate ko since first year.. :P

15. Who is 2 going out with?
= Stillwaters people...

16. What grade is 16 in?
= freshie in UP

17. What is 5's favorite music?:
= Caedmon's Call, Gary V. Hillsong

18. Would you ever date 13?

= Si Revin? My roommate? High school classmate? We've dated a lot of times na! Haha!!

19. Is 11 single?:
= yes!!!

20. What is 10's last name?
= Roxas

21. Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 7?
= She's my sister-in-Christ and that's serious!

22. Where does 18 live?
= Calumpit, Bulacan

21. What do you think about 20?
= cool guy! sad to say he's gonna leave the country na on the 15th. :(

22. What is the best thing about 30?
= He never gives up on Stillwaters!

23. What would you like to tell 14 right now?:
= Magpakita ka naman!!!

24. How did you meet 9?
= CCC Tambayan.. long long time ago...

25. What is the best and worst thing about 2?
= Best: she never gives up on me. Worst: hindi na nya ako nililibre sa dinner...

26. Are you going to know 3 forever?
= of course...

27. How long have you known 26?
= just last june..

28. Who is 24?
= Former roommate, brother-in-Christ.

29. Are you or did you ever date 2?
= We've dated a lot of times na rin with Stillwaters pips!!!

30. Do you have a crush on 27?
= He's my brother-in-Christ!!! What the...

31. Would you kiss 25?
= given enough reason, a friendly kiss would do... :P

32. Have you hugged/kissed 22?
= brotherly hug..

33. Would you like to hug/kiss 21?
= a brotherly hug din siguro. He's also a brother-in-Christ of mine...

34. Is 29 your gf?
= Hell no!!!

35. What do you hate about 23?
= Selfish sa food!!! Wahahahaha!!! joke!!!

36. What's your relationship with 30? = Brother-in-Christ!

Wala ngang 28!!! Awwww... Belated Happy Birthday Pau!!!

READ IF YOU THINK THIS IS FOR YOU!!!

2008-03-01T02:05:00.000-08:00

Shemsssss.... I haven't blogged for so long! Gosh! Nakaka-miss din pala! Haha!

2 weeks na lang before the sem ends (minus the finals week pa). Grabe, super busy na talaga sa acads and stuff. Haven't got enough sleep these past few days because of schoolworks. And I am deprived of so many things, things that I enjoy doing especially spending time with people you love.

Ok Ok! Here I go again. Love issues... Relationships... Kailangan pa bang imemorize yan? As in shemsss, lagi na lang ito yung issue ko sa buhay. To those people who have heard my stories, siguro sawa na kayo. Haha! Thanks for listening anyway. But most of you didn't bother to check me out again. You didn't even realize that I'm hurting so much and I can't bear to face the battle all by myself. THAT I CAN'T DO IT ALL ON MY OWN!!!

I keep on asking myself, DO I STILL HAVE FRIENDS? Kung meron, who are they? Nasan sila when I really need them the most? Cliche no? Pero that's how I feel right now eh. And I hate this feeling. Some would tell me that there are certain people they know who cares for me. Pero those people pa talaga yung ife-fail ka the most.

I hate those people na kakausapin lang ako or magtetext lang dahil kailangan nila ng ganito or ganyan. True, I always do my best to be good to people pero not to the extent na naaabuso na ako. Pero ayoko talaga nung ginagamit lang ako. Sino bang may gusto ng ganun diba?

And there are people who would tell you that they will always be there for you. That they would help you with your struggles. That they would be accountable for you. Pero hanggang salita lang nila yun. And there are people who would really ignore you and think of you as a mere acquaintance not worthy of their time.

Nakakainis talaga sila especially those people na walang pakialam. Na kunwari they're concerned pero deep inside them, pinagtatawanan ka na nila. They're taking their pleasures from your pains. Ang LOSER ng feeling!

I realized that it's very difficult to trust people kahit na you've known each other for 4 or 5 years. And even if they're "LOOKING FORWARD TO A LIFETIME OF FRIENDSHIP WITH YOU," a time will come when they themselves are the one who would betray you. They would mock you and despise you 'til there's nothing left of you, even your SELF-RESPECT!

Why did I spend time with these UNWORTHY PEOPLE? Why did I keep on being good to them? Why did I waste my time thinking about them, keeping in touch with them when they can't even make an extra effort to invite me in their hang-outs? Why did I still choose to stay with them when I can't see the reason to stay? Why did I keep on doing good things to them when they can't even show that they appreciate what I'm doing? Why am I being taken for granted? Bakit kailangan pang umabot sa ganito? WHY ARE THERE PEOPLE WHO CAN'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND? Why can't I let go of them when I have enough reasons to let them out of my life? Why do I need to feel this way? Why? BAKIT KAILANGAN PANG UMABOT SA GANITO?

If you think you're one of those people I'm pointing to, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE!!!

Just Got This From An Online Buddy

2008-01-27T20:21:00.000-08:00

Cool stuff. Some of the things written might not be true. But some really fit me well (those in green). =)

from http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp

You entered: Gian Carlo A. Alvarez

There are 17 letters in your name.
Those 17 letters total to 76
There are 8 vowels and 9 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:

Italian	Male	Italian form of John 'God is gracious' Abbreviation of John often used in combination with other names. Gianni is equivalent to Johnny.
Hebrew	Male	Gift from God.

Your number is: 4

The characteristics of #4 are: A foundation, order, service, struggle against limits, steady growth.

The expression or destiny for #4:
Order, service, and management are the cornerstones of the number 4 Expression. Your destiny is to express wonderful organization skills with your ever practical, down-to-earth approach. You are the kind of person who is always willing to work those long, hard hours to push a project through to completion. A patience with detail allows you to become expert in fields such as building, engineering, and all forms of craftsmanship. Your abilities to write and teach may lean toward the more technical and detailed. In the arts, music will likely be your choice. Artistic talents may also appear in such fields as horiculture and floral arrangement, as well. Many skilled physicians and especially surgeons have the 4 Expression.

The positive attitudes of the 4 Expression yield responsibility; you are one who no doubt, fulfills obligations, and is highly systematic and orderly. You are serious and sincere, honest and faithful. It is your role to help and you are required to do a good job at everything you undertake.

If there is too much 4 energies present in your makeup, you may express some of the negative attitudes of the number 4. The obligations that you face may tend to create frustration and feelings of limitation or restriction. You may sometimes find yourself nursing negative attitudes in this regard and these can keep you in a rather low mood. Avoid becoming too rigid, stubborn, dogmatic, and fixed in your opinions. You may have a tendency to develop and hold very strong likes and dislikes, and some of these may border on the classification of prejudice. The negative side of 4 often produces dominant and bossy individuals who use disciplinarian to an excess. These tendencies must be avoided. Finally, like nearly all with 4 Expression, you must keep your eye on the big picture and not get overly wrapped up in detail and routine.

Your Soul Urge number is: 7

A Soul Urge number of 7 means:
With a number 7 Soul Urge you are very fond of reading, and retreating to periods of being alone and away from the disruptions of the outer world. You like to dream and develop you idealistic understandings, to study and analyze, to gain knowledge and wisdom. You may be too laid back and withdrawn to really succeed in the business world, and you will be much more comfortable in circumstances that are tolerant of your reserve, your analytical approach, and your desire to use your mind rather than your physical being.

You are very timid around people that you don't know very well, so much so at times that casual conversation and social situations can be strained. You tend to repress your emotions to the extend that some people have a good bit of difficult understanding you. You tend to be very selective with friends and you don't easily adapt to new environments or to new people very quickly.

The negative traits of the 7 include becoming too much the introvert and isolated from others.

Your Inner Dream number is: 6

An Inner Dream number of 6 means:
You dream of guiding and fostering the perfect family in the perfect home. You crave the devotion from offspring and a loving spouse. You picture yourself in the center of a successful domestic unit.

Sa Mga Iskolar Ng Bayan... Ang Galing Natin!!!

2008-01-11T21:28:00.000-08:00

Makikisali na rin ako sa Centennial craze! :P
Maligayang ika-100 taon, mga Iskolar ng Bayan!

1. Student number?
03-_8_1_ :P

2. College?
Eng'g

3. Ano ang course mo?
BS ME

4. Nag-shift ka ba o na-kickout?
I'm a shiftee from BA CommRes, MassComm.

5. Saan ka kumuha ng UPCAT?
UP LB

6. Favorite GE subject?
Comm 3

7. Favorite PE?
Fencing

8. Saan ka nag-aabang ng hot girl sa UP?
ewan...

9. Favorite prof(s)
Ms. Mary Jane Rodriguez-Tatel (PI 100),

Ma'am Melanie Leano (Comm 3),

Ma'am Joanne Aguirre (ME 41),

Ma'am Mia Rosales (Math 54),

Sir Gilbert Abueg (Math 53),

Sir Dranreb Juanico (Physics 72),

Ma'am Shiela Marcos (Physics 71),

Sir Fidel Nemenzo (Math 11),

Ma'am Chei Billedo (STS)

10. Pinaka-ayaw na GE subject.
Kas 2 (Asian History)

11. Kumuha ka ba ng Wed or Sat classes?
yep, Ten pin bowling (Wed, 10-12nn 1st yr. 1st sem),

Comm 100 (Wed, 4-7pm 1st yr, 2nd sem),

Physics 71.1 (Wed, 8-10am, 2nd yr. 1st sem),

Fencing (Wed, 8-10am, 2nd yr. 2nd sem),

CWTS 1 (Wed, 1-4pm, 3rd yr. 1st sem),

ES 11 lab (Wed, 9-12nn, 3rd yr. 1st sem),

ME 64 (Sat, 1-4pm, 3rd yr. 2nd sem),

ME 73 (Wed, 7-12nn, 3rd yr. 2nd sem),

CWTS 2 (Sat, 8-12nn, 3rd yr. 2nd sem),

ME 174 (Wed, 9-12nn, 1-4pm, 4th yr. 2nd sem),

ME 183 (Wed, 2-5pm, 5th yr. 2nd sem),

ME 187 (Sat, 9-12nn, 1-4pm, 5th yr. 2nd sem)

12. Nakapag-field trip ka ba?
yes, for Kas 2 yung mga different churches/temples sa Manila,

for PI 100, sa Intramuros and Banahaw (where we went inside the famous Husgado cave)

for Geog 1, sa Corregidor Island

for ME 142, Philip Morris Manufacturing International, Inc., Tanauan City, Batangas (I organized this trip btw.)

for ME 187, Batangas Coal-Fired Thermal Power Plant and First Gas Power Corporation (yesterday lang 'to in which I'm also one of the organizers)

upcoming trips:

for ME 187, Bauang, La Union (Power plant din 'to), January 17, 18, and (19), 2007

for ME 187, Mak-Ban Geothermal Power Plant, January 30, 2007

for ME 131, ('di ko alam yung pupuntahan, basta meron, sa March pa yata)

13. Naging CS ka na ba or US sa UP?
yes, 1st year 1st sem. yun lang!

14. Ano ang Org/Frat/Soro mo?
UP CCC, UP Eng'g Soc, PSME-UPSU

15. Saan ka tumatambay palagi?
sa ME dept. Eng'g 4th floor quiet zone. Eng'g Lib, at ang favorite tambayan hanggang gabi, Sunken Garden :P

16. Dorm, Boarding house, o Bahay?
Boarding House

17. Kung walang UPCAT test at malaya kang nakapili ng kurso mo sa UP, ano yun? (Given ang mentality mo nung HS ka)
BS ECE

18. Sino ang pinaka-una mong nakilala sa UP?
aside from my sister and her batchmates, yung roommate ko, nakalimutan ko na nga name niya eh... :P

19. First play na napanood mo sa UP?
Recoged Esta Voz/Tipunin Itong Taghoy by Dulaang UP

20. Name the 5 most conyo orgs in UP.
I think yung mga BA orgs...

21. Name 5 of the coolest orgs/frats/soro in UP.
yung 3 orgs ko. hindi ko alam yung dalawa pa...

22. May frat/soro bang nag-recruit sa yo?
maraming... soro... Joke!!!! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!

23. Saan ka madalas mag-lunch?
CASAA, Eng'g Canteen, Cart :P

24. Masaya ba sa UP?
tinatanong pa ba yan?

25. Nakasama ka na ba sa rally?
nope...

26. Ilang beses ka bumoto sa Student Council
4?

27. Name at least 5 leftist groups in UP
ewan...

28. Pinangarap mo rin bang mag-laude nung freshman ka?
yes!

29. Kanino ka pinaka-patay sa UP?
sa mga pamatay na ME profs.. :P

30. Kung di ka UP, anong school ka?
Ateneo

I Need Some Rest

2007-12-24T02:08:00.000-08:00

I was away from my family for almost 1 month 'til yesterday. It started during the last week of November while I'm preparing for the Engineering Week. It never dawned on me that this year's Eng'g Week will put much pressure on me. I was one of the project heads for the first-ever PSME-UPSU SongWriteng'g Competition. For this reason, I became in-charge of finding the right judges for the competition and do some admin stuff. I also need to contact the contestants/orgs before the competition day for some clarifications.

Thank God because my bestfriend Neil and my ate Leah became my co-heads. They helped me find the judges and gave me some bright ideas for the competition. I'm also thankful to God for Imay, our beloved PSME-UPSU chairperson. Actually, he did almost everything, the mechanics, the registration, and some other stuff. Parang ang nangyari, naghanap lang kami ng mga judges. Yun lang. Kaya parang wala akong na-contribute masyado. And sobrang nag-cram din ako sa paghahanap ng judges. Haayyy... So much for the drama, praise God because it was a success. Kinailangan lang naming pumasok sa butas ng karayom. Haha! Actually, I wasn't able to see the contestants perform because I have class during that time. :( Pero thankful pa rin ako kay God and sa mga judges na pumunta (Prof. Jose Wendell Capili, Mr. Leo Abaya, Prof. Jose Neil Garcia, Mr. Christopher Borela, Ms. JJ Liao, Ms. Hazel Gutierrez, and Mr. Dave Calpito, we owe the success of the competition to you).

So that's one of my major involvement for PSME-UPSU this Eng'g Week. For Eng'gSoc, I was part of the Awitan. Super hectic talaga ang mga rehearsals. Haayyy... Pero nag-enjoy ako. This was my third (and last) time to join this event. Our group (Eng'g Soc Chorale), I should say, improved a lot in terms of discipline and voice. Haha! Last year kasi pasaway kami kaya nagkalat kami during the competition. Hehe! Ayun!

I joined another major activity this year for the very first time. And that's Indakan! It's a dance competition organized by UP ACES. I joined this event for PSME-UPSU pala. This year's theme is anime so I have my hair dyed just for the love of dancing. Hehe! Our music was a remix from the FULL METAL ALCHEMIST Soundtrack. (I barely watched that anime when it was being aired on local TV though.) Medyo naging pasaway lang ako sa rehearsals. I missed a lot of training sessions because of Awitan. Medyo nagsasabay kasi ang rehearsals nila. Kaya ayun, until the last minute, nangangapa ako. Pero when I got up the stage, I just prayed to God and told Him na I'll dance for Him and I'll enjoy it. And God was faithful. Nag-enjoy ako sa performance namin knowing that some of the people you love are there cheering for you. (As in nasa second row sila ng film center shouting my name out loud.) Thanks to Ate Flo (who invited everyone), Dwight, Rai, Ate Rox, Kuya Ju, Viv, Laila, and Goya (though hindi niya na ako nakitang magperform) who came there to support me. I love you all! And thanks to Melvin for the ride back home.

Sobrang napagod talaga ako before, during, and after the Eng'g Week. There are times that I come home very late (mga past 12mn) and I need to get up as early as 5:30am the next day (or that day) for a 7am class. Haggard talaga! Haaayy.. And I missed a lot of things talaga especially time with God. I haven't been spending quality time with Him because of these things. I failed to look at His glory at times and do things on my own. I'm tired na talaga and I need some rest. I need strength. And I know God alone can give those things to me. I pray that this Christmas, I would be able to rest and spend some time alone with Him. I think that's what I need the most right now, not gifts, not parties. I need Jesus to satisfy me this Christmas!

Who Do You Say I Am?

2007-11-24T16:47:00.000-08:00

I was surprised when this girl suddenly appeared from nowhere. Hindi ko siya kilala but she happened to come across my blog. Just read our conversation below. I'll just keep her name and YM id confidential. So itago natin siya sa pangalang mysterygirl (wala akong maisisp na iba eh). So here it goes...

mysterygirl: you did theater?

mysterygirl: was that you? yung sa afp theater?

Gian Alvarez: yep

Gian Alvarez: who's this?

mysterygirl: im ___

Gian Alvarez: oic

Gian Alvarez: from playshop?

mysterygirl: my brother did

mysterygirl: ikaw pala yun. nakuwento ka niya sa akin but he told me that youre not really good in singing.

Gian Alvarez: ah ok.

Gian Alvarez: who's your brother?

mysterygirl: he just said but your hearts in it daw

mysterygirl: so i salute you for that. napanood kita noon

Gian Alvarez: thnx

Gian Alvarez: but who's your brother?

mysterygirl: im sorry but id rather hide his name

Gian Alvarez: ok..

mysterygirl: were u hurt?

Gian Alvarez: nope..

mysterygirl: i shouldnt have told u that

Gian Alvarez: i knew it from the start that i'm not goog..

Gian Alvarez: *good

Gian Alvarez: it's ok..

Gian Alvarez: no worries...

mysterygirl: and?

Gian Alvarez: =)

mysterygirl: i salute you man

Gian Alvarez: when did you see me perform pala?

Gian Alvarez: and where did you get my ym id?

mysterygirl: but an honest opinion, dont push too hard kasi you might seem to become like TH

mysterygirl: i happen to came acroos your blog

mysterygirl: my brothers friend linked you kasi.

Gian Alvarez: ok..

Gian Alvarez: so you saw me perform in 'THE GIRL WHO WAS PLUGGED IN?'

mysterygirl: haha! that one!

mysterygirl: nice show

Gian Alvarez: thnx!

mysterygirl: my bro was there

mysterygirl: pero hulaan mo na lang

mysterygirl: kung sino kamukha ko

mysterygirl: so you dont eat ice cream muna

mysterygirl: dahil sa voice mo?

Gian Alvarez: kinda....

mysterygirl: u dont need to

mysterygirl: if your voice is good enough, then do it

mysterygirl: i mean, dont get me wrong, even gary v. drinks soda after rehearsal

Gian Alvarez: like what i've said, i'm not good...

Gian Alvarez: so i need every piece of advice that i can get from people who really know how to do it right...

mysterygirl: why not ask the singers in stead of being mailap to them

mysterygirl: my brother told me a story about you once.

mysterygirl: i duno if this is true ha, pero he told me that you're kinda inggit of this other guy na kasama ninyo daw

Gian Alvarez: i'm into choir singing din kasi. our vocal coach told us to refrain from eating sweets or drinking cold beverages..

Gian Alvarez: really?

mysterygirl: so totoo ba yun

mysterygirl: anyway, gtg.

Gian Alvarez: uhmn.. i don't know... pero i can't remember a time na nainggit ako sa isa sa kanila...

Gian Alvarez: ok

Gian Alvarez: God bless!!!

mysterygirl: keep goin

mysterygirl: u can do it!

Gian Alvarez: i know i always can..

For The First Time In Two Years

2007-10-29T16:27:00.000-07:00

I PASSED ALL MY SUBJECTS!!! Wohoooo!!! Praise God!!! Grabe!!! Si God talaga ang nag-work for me. Astig!! Wohoo!!! Thank you Lord! I also want to thank all those who prayed for me (you know who you are). Grabe talaga si God! God moves in mysterious ways.. haha... corny!! Actually nung LTI medyo kinakabahan ako kasi akala ko kailangan kong mag-removals sa isang subject. But God is so good! Tinignan ko agad yung grade ko online after LTI and na-scrolldown ko nanaman accidentally (parang yung nangyari sa ES 26). Then ayun! Astig! Tres sa ME 186 and ME 154! Hahahaha!!! (Mataas na yun for me noh?) Praise God talaga! Birthday gift nya na 'to sa 'kin! Yeah!!

The question is, makaka-graduate kaya ako next sem? Let's find out after the 2nd sem enrollment.

Times Of Refreshing (An LTI Nostalgia)

2007-10-27T02:12:00.000-07:00

Wohoooo!!!!! Praise God for that wonderful LTI! Sobrang nag-enjoy ako! Astig! I'm thankful talaga because God allowed me to go there. Grabe! I can't hide the joy that I feel. I realized that God loves me so much. The theme of the LTI pala this year is My Mission: My Generation. God was so good that he spoke to each one of us in the said event. There are 218 delegates from MCT-1(Metro Campus Team 1) and the Southern Tagalog campuses. I don't have the chance to get to know everyone kasi sobrang dami nga. Jampacked ang main hall! Pero ok lang because I told God before that I won't be going there to meet new friends, instead I would spend more time with Him personally.

This year, I'm part of the Leadership Level. That's the second to the last level for me prior to becoming a trainer. So dun sa training, wala na masyadong demonstrations and everything. Mas-konti yung mga topics. It's all about building a movement and to some of us, it's nothing new since we're all leaders (mover/multiplier) in the movement. So parang review na lang siya. The topics were very interesting actually. I learned a lot of things that added to my knowledge as a leader. Super fun din sa training because we're privileged to have Kuya Regie a.k.a. Kuya Bojie (UPLB Campus Director) and Kuya Al (UP Diliman Campus Director) as our main speakers.

Our culminating activity was so fun and memorable. We've got to share the Gospel to the people of Tagaytay. I was with Reuvin and Jasmine during the outreach. As their 'kuya,' I should be able to show them first how to share the Gospel to other people before they actually do it. Nung una parang kinakabahan pa ako kasi mga 1st timers sila Jasmine and Reuvin so I shouldn't mess it up. But God was so faithful that He guided me and He became my strength while I was sharing. Sobrang nakakakaba din because we need to knock on doors to share the Word. Pero exciting pa rin kahit nakakakaba. We also went to the marketplace to share the Word. The rest is history and we all had a great time working together, reaching our generation.

I was kinda refreshed during the LTI. The past sem was so crazy kasi. I've experienced a lot of 'faith-shaking' before LTI and I came there with an ulterior motive. But don't get me wrong. God immediately changed my heart the first day of the training pa lang. And I'm so thankful that God talked to me. (Sabi nga ni Doulos, God can talk to you in small voices.) Actually, sabi ko kay God, I want to know Him more. But he made me realize in the training that I need to know more about my mission, which is my generation. Parang sabi niya "kilala mo nanaman ako eh, nakakalimot ka lang. Ngayon, i-reachout mo ang generation mo for me." (As in sa tagalog siya nagsalita sa 'kin. Hahahaha!!! Sorry I just can't contain the joy inside. )

LTI made me realize that there is an immediate need to reach this generation for God. During the last night, the commitment night, God has spoken to me once again and told me to turn away from my wicked ways. I've been playing with fire for a while and God wants me to put that fire off.

The God of my generation is calling me to continue His work to this world and to reach my generation. Brother Philip, our speaker for that night told us that it won't be an easy task but God will always be with us. I don't want my generation to be like the generation of Ahaz. I don't want my generation to be forgotten because of it's wicked ways.

You might think these things are easier said than done. True. But like what Brother Philip had told us, what we put ourselves into would mean a great battle. A battle to redeem our generation for the glory of God. Nothing will be easy for us. But Brother Philip assured us of one thing: God will always be with us during our fight. The God of my generation would guide me and protect me during the battle so I have nothing to fear. The King of kings will be with me so I shouldn't be afraid of telling my generation about His greatness and His love.

Less than two weeks from now, I will be back to UP. The battle has actually started the moment we signed those commitment forms. I just pray that God would reveal to me what my generation needs and how I can reach my generation. There's no turning back for me now.

It's True. He's Gone

2007-10-22T04:22:00.000-07:00

Going to a wake is my worst nightmare. Aside from the fact that it would be very boring, I also am a little scared of seeing a casket. I, together with some hysterical pinkers Brenda, Neri, Rexie, and Rogers, went to Garrick's wake early this afternoon. While waiting for Imay and Andrew, nagkwentuhan muna kami sa Vinzons about our CWTS days. Ayun! Muntik ng magkaiyakan. Sobrang dami pang bloopers as we make our way to Arlington. We we're lost on the way. No one among us actually knows how to get there. Thank God nakarating naman kami ng maayos.

Going there was tough. But it's tougher entering the chapel. Only a few people were in there. It's quiet and sobrang sad ng mood. What struck me most is the memorabillia table for some of his stuff. Well I think the most memorable for each of us is his blue water jug. Most of us would drink from that jug during our CWTS days whenever we lose energy rappelling down a 2-storey tower. And he loves wearing pink that's why we named our group 'hysterical pink!' in honor of him.

He's a good son and a good friend. I remember a time when we celebrated a classmate's birthday at SM North and I ask him if he could give me a ride and take me to the North Avenue Station. He said yes without second thoughts. At that moment, I feel so grateful to him. Na-touch ako with that act. He made me realize that he knows how to care for a person or a friend.

Each of us has a story to tell and he's the hero in all those stories. We were glad to have known him even just for a little while. Our memories of him would always be worth keeping.

Thank you TL for adding a little color in our lives. We know that you're in God's loving arms now. We will cherish the moments that we've been together. We love PINK!!!! We will miss you TL! We love you so much!

My 21st On The 21st (The Saddest Day Of My 21-Year Old Life)

2007-10-21T03:39:00.000-07:00

For those of you who didn't know, I just turned 21 22 and a half hours ago. Yes, I'm not a minor anymore. And it means a greater responsibility on my part. Sabi pala ni Dwight pwede na akong makulong once I reach this age. (Well Dwight, isasama kita sa kulungan. Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!! Sino pa gustong sumama?). Gosh! Just the thought of turning 21 gives me the creeps. How much more kung 21 na 'ko 'di ba?

Thanks to all those who greeted me 'nung Friday pa lang (at sa mga humahabol pa ng bati as of this moment). Yeah! As early as Friday may bumabati na. I don't know if they just wanna great me ahead of the others or nakalimutan nila ang date. Pero super thanks pa rin.

To tell you the truth, I'm not in the mood of celebrating my birthday this year. After all what happened during the past few months, I think I don't deserve a grand celebration because I've messed up my whole life. Besides, a few would only remember my birthday since it happens on a sembreak.

Yesterday, I thought of deleting some 'precious' text messages in my inbox because people would flood messages, as they usually do during this time of the year. I realized afterward that it won't be necessary. People would really tend to forget.

Well, I can say that this is the saddest birthday of my life. Parang isa lang siyang ordinary day na matatapos din. In the middle of the day, I just feel like crying. Ang weird kasi. It's my birthday pero hindi ako nagcecelebrate. (Add the fact that a friend of mine has just died very recently.) Nasa-harap lang ako ng PC waiting for something 'magical' to happen. But nothing happened. The waiting is not worth it. I told myself 'sige na give up na 'ko... Nothing will happen today...' True enough, wala ngang nangyari. (Maghintay ka na lang ulit ng isang taon. That is, if there are still people who would celebrate it with you.) (Hay Gian! Why are you acting like this? You know the answers to all your questions but still you insist.) So ano ginawa ko? Wala lang! I just did what a LOSER should ought to do. And it's so damn boring.

And as of this moment, nothing is happening.

(Itulog mo na lang yan. It's not worth the wait.)

A Nice Story. Take Time To Read

2007-10-20T04:54:00.000-07:00

Got this from a friend on friendster.

The Miracle of a Brother's Song

Like any good mother, when Karen
found out that another baby was on the
way, she did what she could to help
her 3 year old son, Michael, prepare
for a new sibling.

They found out that the new baby was
going to be a girl, and day after day,
night after night, Michael sang to his
little sister in Mommy's tummy. He was
building a bond of love with his
little sister before he even met her.

The pregnancy progressed normally for
Karen.

In time, the labor pains came. Soon it
was every five minutes, every three,
every minute. But serious
complicat ions arose during delivery
and Karen found herself in hours of
labor. Would a C-section be required?
Finally after a long struggle,
Michael 's little sister was born. But
she was in very serious condition.
With a siren howling in the night, the
ambulance rushed the infant to the
neonatal intensive care unit at St.
Mary's Hospital, Knoxville, Tennessee.

The days inched by. The little girl
got worse. The pediatric specialist
regret fully had to tell the
parents, "There is very little hope.
Be prepared for the worst."

Karen and her husband contacted a
local cemetery about a burial plot.
They had fixed up a special room in
their home for the new baby....but now
they found themselves having to plan
for a funeral.

Michael, however, kept begging his
parents to let him see his sister. "I
want to sing to her," he kept saying.
Week two in the intensive care looked
as if a funeral could come before the
week was over.

Michael kept nagging about singing to
his sister, but kids are never allowed
in the Intensive Care. Karen made up
her mind, though. She would take
Michael whether they liked it or not!
If he didn't see his sister right
then, he may never see her alive.

She dressed him in an oversized scrub
suit and marched him into ICU. He
looked like a walking laundry basket,
but the head nurse recognized him as a
child and bellowed "Get that kid out
of here now! NO children are allowed!"
The mother rose up strong in Karen,
and the usually mild-mannered lady
glared steel-eyed right into the head
nurses's face, her lips a firm
line. "He's not leaving until he sings
to his sister!"

Karen towed Michael to his sister's
bedside. He gazed at the tiny infant
losing the battle to live. After a
moment, he began to sing. In the pure
hearted voice of a 3-year-old Michael
sang:

"You are my sunshine, my only sushine,
you make me happy when skies are gray,"

Instantly the baby girl seemed to
respond. Her pulse rate began to calm
down and become steady. "Keep on
singing, Michael, encouraged Karen
with tears in her eyes.

"You never know, dear,
how much I love you.
Please don't take
my sunshine away."

Michael's little sister began to relax
as rest, healing rest, seemed to sweep
over her. "Keep on singing, Michael."
Tears had now conquered the face of
the bossy head nurse. Karen glowed.

"My only sunshine.
Please don't take
my sunshine away...."

The next day, ...the very next
day...the little girl was well enough
to go home!

"Woman' s Day Magazine" called it "The
Miracle of a Brother's Song" The
medical staff just called it a
miracle. Karen called it a miracle of
God's love!

Never give up on the people you love.
Love is so Incredibly powerful. To the
world you may be one person, but to
one person you may be the world!

The Semester Has Ended... And So Do I...

2007-10-19T01:57:00.000-07:00

But I think it's still unofficial. (Duh!?!) I'm not yet sure if I'm gonna make it to the passing mark in ME 186. If not, I might as well (with crossed-fingers) take the removal exam. I just hope that it will be scheduled after LTI.

After my exam yesterday, I felt a little sense of fulfillment. Tapos na rin ang sem ko. I'm finally free!!! Yes, I would be free... for a while... from those 'extra-terrestrial' equations. Nakakapagod din palang mag-aral. Haaaayyyy...

So balik tayo dun sa removals. Sana lang talaga hindi siya sumabay sa LTI kung magreremove ako. I remember two years ago during the LTI, I was studying like crazy during the camp dahil sumabay sa last day ng LTI yung removals ko. Super asar talaga ako nung time na yun. Kaya ayoko na siyang maulit. Imagine all of your friends enjoying their freedom from acads and you are inside your cabin alone with your book and your calculator feeling like a loser. Haaayyy... Kaya I don't want that to happen again this time. It's my prayer to God right now. Please do pray with me.

Ayoko pang umuwi sa Laguna after my exam yesterday. I told my mom that I would be leaving the next day na lang, which is today (and as of this moment, I'm here in our home sweet home!). I stayed at the 4th floor quiet zone (as usual) because the library was closed for some inventory stuff. Leah was also there studying for her CE 22 exam. Ayun.. nag-internet lang ako at nag-YM. Haha! I also played 'Feeding Frenzy' (a game introduced by Gelo to me) while on the 4th floor. Got back home after my laptop's battery went out.

I invited Dwight, Laila, Goya, and RJ afterward for dinner. RJ wasn't able to make it though. Tatika also came with us. Then we make tambay sa may Carilion Tower after dinner (wish ni Laila) and shared stories to each other.

I'm gonna miss UP talaga! It's my second home. Sayang I wasn't able to jog at the acad oval this sem. Haaayyy... Maybe next sem.

Losing A Friend

2007-10-16T21:57:00.000-07:00

I've known Garrick for almost three years now. We've been classmates in our CWTS class 2 years ago and we enjoy every moment that we're together with our groupmates. We can say that we are the best CWTS group during that time. We even named our group 'Hysterical Pink' because, there was a time when Garrick wore a pink t-shirt during one of our meetings. He was our team leader by the way and we gave him the title TL (meaning team leader). I had a great time that sem because we have a very bonded group and a great, funny, wise leader. Yes he's wise. I think he's one of the top students in their batch. He became my classmate in 3 or 4 subjects. He's my classmate in ME 186 this sem.

I remember one time when I shared Christ with him. It took me a lot of guts to tell him to spend a little time with me so I can share the Good News. Sad to say, he didn't receive Christ. But we've been good friends ever since.

It was late last August (or early September) this year when we heard the news that Garrick was brought to the hospital and in a critical condition because of an accident. He was paralyzed from neck down. He had undergone an operation immediately. The operation went quite well. He can already move his upper body after that. It will take him at least a year to fully recover. It means he will stop going to school for a while.

I planned to visit him together with my CWTS groupmates since he was confined in a hospital near my place. But we didn't get the chance to visit him. Everyone was so damn busy and unavailable.

Just early this afternoon, I received a message from a friend telling me that Garrick was gone. I was in the library that time and I asked another friend of mine if that's true. I really don't know what to do during that time. I was really affected. I haven't got the chance to spend some time with him during this sem. Probably because of our busy skeds.

I'll never forget those times that we've been together. We're not that close with each other but I've known a lot of things about him during those precious times. I just pray that God would comfort his family and his loved ones. God bless his precious soul.

Johnny Depp as Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street

2007-10-13T13:02:00.000-07:00

Since I'm gonna be extending my patience 'til next Thursday (because my exam yesterday was postponed), I decided to take a break and unwind. I didn't notice that the week ended so fast. Yesterday, I planned to go to the Eng'g lib but it was closed because it was a holiday. I tried to connect to the internet on the 4th floor quiet zone but I wasn't successful. I think they turned the wireless router off yesterday. So I went straight to Francis' house at UP village since I texted him the night before that I'm gonna be checking his place. I'm planning to move na kasi next sem. Anyway, I got the chance to bond with him 'til afternoon. We watched Spirited Away (Japanese Movie) and some HappyTreeFriends short flicks. Ayun... Kwento kwento about our sophomore days in UP, when we were still young not knowing what the future might bring. (Lester, this is what you call cliche right? ) Francis was my classmate kasi in two subjects back then with two other friends, Kaye and Glenn. Glenn is in PMA (as in Philippine Military Academy) right now. He sends me messages at times asking how am I doing. I haven't got any news about Kaye. I think she's back in her province in Zamboanga continuing her studies there. So yun... Medyo madrama yung usapan namin dahil nagkwento nanaman siya about dun sa 'away-bata' namin nung sem na yun. Hahahahahaha!!!! Sobrang funny talaga pag naaalala namin yun. We had lunch together and made a lot of kwentuhan and kulitan after. I was at his place from 10am (he wasn't even awake at this time) 'til 4:30pm. Then, Laila invited me to watch a movie with some friends. I headed back to my place and prepared myself to go to Trinoma. Lester was also preparing to go to CCF for Soul Stop so we went out the house together. It was super fun while walking with Lester sa Philcoa. He keeps on talking to me like he was Chinese (though he took 6 units of Chinese Language back then) and I was just laughing hard. Hahahahahahahaha!!!! And people were just looking at us while were walking on the footbridge. Sobrang funny talaga! And I think my voice is loud enough for everyone to hear because I'm listening to loud music while walking. Haha!!! So yun! We parted ways na afterwards. So bumababa ako sa Trinoma knowing that Laila and some of our friends would meet me there. I texted her asking where they are and walked (and window shopped) for about 10 minutes. I texted her again because she isn't replying. At last, she replied to tell me that they are in SM North. Haaayyyy... Si Laila talaga! Muntik nang maubos ang pasensya ko nun. Anyway, naglakad ako papuntang SM North. Sobrang nasira ang porma ko and everything dahil kasabay ko ang mga smoke-belching jeepneys. I'm all sweaty when I entered The Block. Ayun, nagpalamig muna ako ng konti then nag-meet na kami sa may KFC to have dinner. Nandun sila Jopi, Kristia, Ralph, and Micay. I was so glad to see all of them. Haayy... I'm home at last! Hehe! Then kwento kwento about the finals week, exams, requirements, etc. It was so fun talking with them after a week of 'haggardness!' We watched No Reservations starring Catherine Zeta-Jones and Aaron Eckhart. Ok lang naman yung movie. And were like laughing and talking inside the moviehouse like there's no one other than us is watching. Hahaha!!! Medyo madrama yung film but somehow, some scenes made a lot of sense to me. Like the one when Kate (Zeta-Jones) tries to know her niece more by asking her favorites and the girl responded afterwards, "you don't need to try so hard!" Aaaaaawwwww..... Tinamaan ako dun!!! Hahahahaha!!!! Medyo nagkwekwentuhan din kami predicting what will happen next and covering our eyes whenever there's a 'what's-happening-mommy?' scene. So nag-end yung movie and we're all laughing. Akala kasi namin, super comedy yung movie. Gusto kasi naming matawa lahat. Eh medyo mabigat yung movie na yun. Haaayyy... Anyway, we enjoyed each other's company naman 'more than the movie'(from Kristia). Ayun!

So paglabas ko, nakita ko yung poster ng Sweeney Todd. And I was so surprised! Johnny Depp will be playing Sweeney Todd. By the way, Sweeney Todd is an Award-Winning Broadway Musical by Stephen Sondheim. It will now follow the steps of The Sound Of Music, The King And I, Grease, Little Shop Of Horrors, West Side Story, Jesus Christ Superstar, The Phantom Of The Opera, and Rent. So excited to see the film. I'll leave a link at the end of this post for you to know more about the movie-musical.

It was a very exciting night with friends, with family. It's nice to be with people who really loves you and cares for you. Aaaawwwww.... It's gonna be a long week ahead but I know that God will always be there for me along with my 'family!'

God Bless!!!

Here's the link to the Sweeney Todd Official Site: http://www.sweeneytoddmovie.com/

On My Own

2007-10-08T11:49:00.000-07:00

Nope! It's not the song from Les Miz. Haha! It's nice to start your day with a warm smile from a dear sister and a nice hug from a beloved brother. Na-miss ko talaga sila Ate Flo and si Melvin. Early this morning, nag-meet kami sa tambayan for something. I decided na pumunta muna sa tambayan before going to the Eng'g lib to study (ano pa nga ba?). Gusto ko munang kumuha nang lakas ng loob before my exam! Hahaha! (Mag-bonakid ka na lang!! Wahahahahahaha!!!!) Thanks to Melvin by the way for teaching me how to fix my shoelaces!
I've spent the whole weekend studying for my ME 186 exam early this afternoon. So ano nangyari sa exam? As usual, super frustrated nanaman after the exam. Then yung mga batchmates ko (who were taking ME 187 na), sobrang pang-asar! Isigaw ba naman sa buong ME dept. na mapeperfect mo yung exam to think na medyo bad trip ako nun. Kainis talaga!!!!! Anyway, hindi pa naman dito nagtatapos ang lahat. I still have a chance na makabawi sa final exam on friday. And I also need to make that interactive schematic diagram of a wave machine for a 10% bonus on my final grade. But it's no easy task. I still need to consult some 'experts' regarding that thing dahil wala naman talaga akong background sa computer animation. And my deadline is on the 17th. What the heck!? I still have an exam on the 15th. That leaves me with just a day and a half to finish that special project. Asar!!!! I'm having a hard time pa searching the net about my project. It's a Multiple-Pontoon raft wave machine. (Nosebleed!!) Haaayyyy....
I'm all alone here on the 4th floor of Eng'g. It's almost 7pm na kasi so umuwi na lahat ng people and wala na rin kasing class. I just realized na nakakalungkot din pala 'pag wala kang kasama. Kanina nahihirapan akong umalis sa tambayan kasi mag-iisa nanaman ako. Pero I still need to do a lot of stuff kasi. My ME 154 final exam will be tomorrow from 4-7pm and I haven't studied anything yet. Sobrang napagod kasi ako sa 186 kaya ayun... I'm not quite sure of what will happen on my exam tomorrow. Kahit anong aral kasi ang gawin ko dun sa subject na yun hindi pa rin ako pumapasa sa mga exams. I'm starting to believe tuloy na it's just a matter of luck. Meron kasi akong mga classmates na nakakapasa kahit hindi nagrereview. So unfair!!! Bakit ganun? Haaaayyyy....

Well, I need to pack my things na dahil it's getting late. Baka pagalitan na ako ni manong guard. Hehe!!!

21 Units Remaining

2007-10-06T10:32:00.000-07:00

Yes you heard it right. I only need to finish 21 units for me to graduate in my BS ME program (assuming that I'm gonna pass all my subjects this sem). Actually, I can choose to enlist all of those units next sem but I'm thinking twice. Medyo mahirap kasi yung 2 subjects na naiwan (Power Plant Engineering II, Machine Design III). Besides, I'm not quite sure if I can fit all of those subjects in my sked (there might be a tendency of overlaps!). So yun! I'll take the risk of extending my stay in the university for one semester. You know what, I'm glad na rin to know that I can really graduate on time. Dati kasi nawalan na ako ng hope. Pero God is so good pa rin! I just hope that I would be able to finish this sem right. And I need your prayers. I have 4 (or 5) exams this coming week. Haggardness nanaman 'to! Haaayyyy... Pray Pray Pray!!!!! God bless you!

Amazing Talaga!!!! Thank You Melvin For Yor Prayers!!! (You Of Little Faith... Why Did You Doubt???)

2007-09-30T12:28:00.000-07:00

I haven't got the chance to go back to my hometown for two weeks straight. I have lots of schoolwork to do and a make-up class to attend to. So yun! I spend the whole day with Jefty sa house . Nag-aral lang ako for my exam tomorrow. Nakakapagod palang mag-aral nang buong araw. Haaayyy... Kaya break muna ako ngayon. Hehe!!! And since it's raining outside, hindi ako nakapunta sa Katipunan. Pumasa pala ako sa ES 26 last summer!!! Grabe! Ngayon ko lang nalaman. Ang alam ko kasi bumagsak na ako dun dahil hindi naging maganda yung finals ko. Isa pala ako sa 'Fantastic Four' na nag-finals dun sa ES 26 last summer. Ayun! We are 14 or 15 yata in our class tapos 4 kaming hindi exempted sa finals. After the exam, ayoko na talagang malaman yung result. As in hindi ko rin chineck sa CRS yung grade kasi nga alam ko bagsak na ako. Hindi ko pa rin kinukuha yung classcard ko. Grabe! Galing talaga!!! Praise God! And hindi ko talaga plano na i-check sa CRS yung grade ko ngayon dahil baka ma-disappoint lang ako. Pero I still checked it out. Kinakabahan pa ako while scrolling down the page. Tapos nabigla ako nung nakita ko yung grade ko!!! Wow!!! Gusto ko talagang sumigaw at tumalon sa tuwa!!! Struggle ko kasi yung ES 26 last summer. Nahihirapan pa rin ako to think na 2nd take ko na yun. God is amazing talaga! Hindi mataas yung grade ko pero ok na sa 'kin yun! Wahahahahahaha!!! Amazing talaga!!!!

Rainy Wednesday

2007-09-19T11:30:00.000-07:00

It's a rainy day!!!! Got up so early for the UP Engineering Society Applicant's interview! I was assigned to be one of the panelists for today's interview! Haaayyy.. Kakatamad bumangon dahil ang lamig! Woke up as early as 6:30am and went to school at 8. The interview went well. It was so fun 'grilling' the applicants! Hahahahaha!!!! Some of them cried during the interview and some really did well. Gosh! I didn't notice that I'm becoming one of the most 'notorious interviewer' Eng'g Soc has ever had! Wahaha! No doubt a freshman cried while I was interrogating her. Tuloy, I remembered my days as an applicant for that org. I was in 2nd year college back then. Actually, I also cried during the interview! Haha!

ME 176 make-up class didn't push through early this afternoon. I also got the chance to meet the TA heads/reps of CCC. At hindi ako nakasama sa funtime ng Kalayaan Dorm Target Area!! Huhuhuhuhu!!! Pero ok lang! Nag-enjoy naman ako sa interview ng mga applicants kanina! Hahahahaha!!!

It was one heck of a rainy Wednesday!!!

Cheers For The UP Pep Squad!!!

2007-09-18T10:37:00.000-07:00

UP Pep Squad - UAAP Cheerdance Competition 2007 Champion!!!
Congrats mga Iskolars ng Bayan! We have the crown again!!!

I wasn't able to see the whole performance though. Naabutan ko na lang ay yung recap. Pero astig talaga! The opening was so energetic! (Maybe that's the reason why UP won over UST) UST also did a good job. But it looks like they lack the energy to perform which was quite unusual. Anyway, sa opening pa lang ng UP sobrang napa-wow na talaga ako! Astig!!!!

Congrats! Congrats!

TOP 20 SCHOOLS

2007-09-09T05:32:00.000-07:00

This statistics is a result of the study conducted by the Professional Regulations Commission(PRC) and the Commission on Higher Education (CHED), based on the average passing in the BOARD EXAMINATIONS OF ALL COURSES of all universities and colleges in the Philippines. This study is concluded every 10 years.

Eleven schools come from Luzon, two from the Visayas and seven from Mindanao.

1. University of the Philippines (Diliman Campus /Luzon) (Ehem... ehem!!!)

2. University of the Philippines (Los Banos Campus/ Luzon)

3. University of the Philippines (Manila Campus /Luzon)

4. Silliman University (Dumaguete City / Visayas)

5. Ateneo deDavao University (Davao / Mindanao)

6. Ateneo de Manila University (Manila / Luzon)

7. University of Sto. Tomas (Manila / Luzon)

8. Mindanao State University (Iligan Institute of Tech / Mindanao)

9. Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Maynila (Manila/Luzon)

10. Saint Louis University (Baguio City / Luzon)

11. University of San Carlos (Cebu City / Visayas)

12. Xavier University (Cagayan de Oro / Mindanao)

13. Mindanao State University (Main / Mindanao)

14. Urios College (Butuan City / Mindanao)

15. Polytechnic University of the Philippines (Manila / Luzon)

16. De La Salle University (Manila / Luzon)

17. Mapua Institute of Technology (Manila / Luzon)

18. Adamson University (Manila /Luzon)

19. Central Mindanao University (Bukidnon/Mindanao)

20. University of Southern Philippines (Davao /Mindanao)

if your school is one of the listed top performing schools in the Philippines listed above, please repost this and be proud.

I Think I've Had Enough

2007-09-08T08:27:00.000-07:00

My life gets even more frustrating and complicated as the semester comes to an end. ME 154 exam results were so bad that I had to do a 'walk-out' after my EEE 1 class yesterday because of frustration (because I don't wanna talk to everyone about that unfairly administered exam last Monday). I feel like crying after knowing what my score is. I know I've done my part. I've studied well and tried to learn everything. And it gets so unfair knowing that a classmate of mine who haven't been regularly attending classes and just studied for like 2 hours (or less) before the exam got a passing mark! Why the hell did that happen? I started asking myself what's wrong with me and I can't still figure out the answer. I really wanna scream at that moment after seeing my exam paper at the ME department secretary's desk. What have I done wrong? Melvin gave me a call yesterday during the PSME meeting and I told him everything. (It really stinks bro, like what you've said!) I think he got frustrated too because he prayed for me right before the exam. I thought it will all go very well but I was so wrong. Add the fact that I'm struggling with heart issues these past few days. I really don't know what will happen to me after this sem ends.

I've spent some time with Ate Flo yesterday over mango shake and fishballs. Kwentuhan lang about what's happening with me and how's my meeting with Melvin and all that kind of stuff. So syempre nagkwento din sya. I've had a great time with her though I need to leave early because of the PSME meeting.

Today is Saturday. Means rest day for me. But because of the ME 176 take-home exam, STS paper and report, and PSME matters, I can't find a reason to relax. Everything is giving me a hard time. But it's still good to know that there are people out there who thinks and cares for you even though 'you're not fixed!' Yes, I've had enough. But I need to take center stage again sooner or later because the show must go on.

Unsure....

2007-09-05T10:49:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning feeling unsure of everything. I don't know if our major make-up exam will push through this afternoon. I haven't studied yet for an upcoming major exam. I don't know what will happen to me today. Will I be happy? Is this gonna be the worst day of my life? My roommate greeted me, 'tinanghali yata tayo ah?' because I usually wake up earlier than him. But it's a Wednesday (means no class for me) so I decided to have a longer sleep. Besides, I haven't slept well since Saturday because of acads (and heart) stuff. All went well until after I took a bath and prepared myself to go to a place that I don't know. But this place might be the end of all my pains. I wasn't sure if I'm gonna do this thing. I started asking myself and tears started to well up my eyes. I asked God. Is this really necessary? I don't get the sense of doing it anyway. It doesn't matter to me anymore. Too bad it was too late for me to back out. I think I just did what I ought to do. I was having a hard time dealing with myself this morning. Kahit hanggang ngayon. It seems like I won't be able to live the life that I want. My heart is crying right now. And I think it's just alright for me to grieve....

Pwede Palang Mag-Friendster Sa Eng'g Lib 'Pag Wednesday

2007-09-05T10:23:00.000-07:00

Hahahahaha!!! Pwede ring mag-Multiply. Na-block kasi yung multiply sa DILNET just recently. Wahahahahahaha!!! Ang saya! Buti na lang wala akong class every Wednesday! Hahahahahaha!!!!!

Magic 20! You Might Be One Of Them

2007-09-01T07:35:00.000-07:00

Got this idea from ATHENA TIBI. Haha!!! So much for the piracy.

These people, in one way or another, have affected my life these past few days. You might be one of them. This is in no particular order.

(WARNING: Contains 'fishy' statements.)

1. Bakit ang galing mong mag-DOTA? Kakainis ka! Hindi na ulit kita paglalaruin sa PC ko. Wahahahahahaha!!!! Kakainis ka kagabi... Ang galing mo rin sa CS. Bakit ganun? Waaaaahhhhh.... Anyway, thanks sa chooey choco na binigay mo! Hahahaha! Pinaltan ko na yun ng Hersheys! Hehehe!!!! Next time 'wag ka ng sumali sa min. Kakainis ka. Kaya mo kaming talunin lahat!!! One day makikita mo ang bike mo na sira-sira. Ipapasira ko kay Poochi!!!! Wahahahahahaha!!!!!

2. Thanks for the warm welcome in your house last Sunday. You've been my family ever since. Sorry dun sa jologs na softdrinks na binili ko for you. Haha! Pero I know naman that you love me so much. Hahaha!!! I won't be afraid to buy more softdrinks for you in a jologs plastic. Hahaha!

3. Nakakainis ka dahil naka-graduate ka na! Well, musta naman ang 6 years sa UP. Wahahahahaha!! At susunod yata ako sa yapak mo. Hahaha! I won't be able to return your books yet because I still need some of those as reference materials. Hirap talaga pag ME ka. Musta naman ang review classes mo?

4. You, who never knows that I exist. I think I'm starting to fall for you but this is not yet the right time. I know that you still need some space after that big break-up. I know that God has greater plans for your life. Don't ever try to blame yourself for what has happened in your relationship. I think I love you.

5. You've been so good to me from the very start. Thanks for not giving up on me in spite of my immaturity. Sorry if at times, I don't talk to you straight in the eye giving you a hard time. I've been through a lot and you never fail to encourage me to just go on because God is with me. I love you because you've chosen to stay with me. Like what you've said, 'we're in this together.' Thanks for cheering me up and spending some quiet moments with me. Thanks for being there when I need someone to lean on. I didn't expect that our relationship would be as intimate as this. I hope that I would also be able to do something for you. I can't imagine living my life without you. I love you like I always did.

6. I'm glad that you've finished your org application. I hope that we could spend more time with each other again. Na-miss talaga kita! Minsan sobrang nagka-clash ang mga ideas natin pero you're still there. Haha!!! I would continue to pray for you. Thanks for sharing your stories of hurts and pains to me. I appreciate people who never hesitates to share their problems. But I'm not good in giving advices. Hehe! Thanks! Thanks!!

7. I know you chose to go your own way now. I still thank you for being a part of my life. You just don't know how I miss you. I thought that you're gonna be the end of all my pains. I was wrong. But I still promise to always be here for you. Thanks for listening to my sad stories and letting me feel that I am loved.

8. Ikaw na madalas mangiliti, magbago ka na. Wahahahahaha!!!!. Thanks for giving me a chance to sing once again kahit medyo sablay. Alam ko mas magaling ka sa 'kin pero kulang ka sa paligo. Wahahahahaha!!! I just hope that I could sing again without these struggles. Hirap palang kumanta 'pag hindi maayos ang heart mo. Aaaaawwwwww..... Next time jamming ulit tayo. I'll sing then you'll strum your guitar. 'Wag mo nang ibenta gitara mo. Sayang! Wahahahaha!!! I forgot how to play the guitar kaya turuan mo ulit ako. Wahahahahaha! I can't wait to see you again. Love you so much.

9. For almost five years na magkasama tayo sa room, 'di pa tayo nakapag-usap ng heart-to-heart. Hahaha! I just want to thank you for being so nice to me. Alam ko nakukulitan ka sa akin minsan. Haha! Pero kukulitin pa rin kita. Hehe! Thanks sa mga softwares na pinahiram mo at sa mag kung anu-anong gadgets na nakakalat sa room na pwede kong gamitin kahit walang paalam. Wahahahaha! Manlibre ka naman! Balita ko malaki kinikita mo sa business mo. Wahahahahaha!!! Sana ma-delay ka rin ng isang sem! Wahahahahaha!!! (evil laugh!!!) Joke!!! See yah soon!

10. I know that you don't want me to depend on you but I grew up always depending on someone. I grew up with you. I know that you're kinda irritated with me whenever I try to 'fish.' But that's my love language. You've hurt me a lot and I know that I've hurt you too. But I think those hurts made us stronger. We've been through a lot. I'll now make it up to you. Thanks for being a nice brother. Thanks for listening to my 'kilig' and nonsense stories. I thank you even for not talking to me at all. I know that you also have your own struggles and I'm always the last person that you would want to talk to. I hope to spend more time with you because that's what I want to do.

11. Sorry if I deliberately walked away from you. It's just that I'm afraid to start this thing again. I know you're trying to do your best to know me more and I appreciate that. Thank you for the things that you've given me. But I hope that you understand what I've been going through. The pains of the past. It seems like I'm having a hard time to let go of those. I still pray that I would be able to get free from this bondage so I can get in good terms with you.

12. How are you Best Friend? Tagal na nating 'di nakakapag-usap ah? I know you've been so much busy with your power plant design. Buti nga kayo power plant design na eh. Aaaaaarrrrggggghhhh.... If only I passed ME 186 last sem, kasama ko sana kayo sa hirap. Haaayyy... Exam na sa ME 154 on monday. I haven't started studying yet. And I also have ME 176 exam on tuesday. Haaaayyyy...

13. I thank God for giving me a chance to know you more. I realized that you're truly a servant and leader at the same time. You continue to inspire me with stories about your ministry. Thanks for understanding when there are times that I want to be alone. You're the best! Sana ma-delay ka rin ng isa pang sem so we can have more time with each other. Wahahahahahaha!!!! (evil laugh!!!) Joke!!!

14. Ikaw, sorry kung nasungitan kita kahapon. Ang kulit mo kasi eh. Hay nako. Pero miss na rin kita. Haha!!!! Mas mahal mo na kasi ang mga crush mo kesa sa 'min. Wahahahaha!!!! I love making you blush pag nandyan yung mga crush mo. Hahahahaha!!! Nakakatawa ka!!! You've been so very nice to me. Swerte talaga nung dalawa mong crush! Weh!!! Hahaha!!! I'm always inspired by your heart for God. I'm still praying that I would also have a heart for God like yours. Hehehe!!! Nakakatuwa ka talaga! Para kang stuffed toy! Wahahahaha!!! May God continue to bless your life!

15. Wazzup?? Thanks for talking to me last Thursday after that super difficult exam. Haaayyy.. I'm sorry pala if I hurt you last time. You just don't know how frustrated I felt nung nagtampo ka sa 'kin. Ayoko kasi talagang mag-cause ng hurt sa'yo because you're so dear to me. Napa-sobra yata ang panglalambing ko. Hehehe! Anyway, thanks sa lahat ng help. God bless on your new career as a Praise and Worship leader. Way to go!!!

16. Ikaw naman... Marami na akong utang sa'yo. Wahahahaha!!! Ayan kakatext mo lang. Hahahaha!!! Sorry If i haven't been attending our general assemblies. I've been busy with more important matters kasi, matters of the heart. Hindi ko alam kung pa'no ako makakabawi. Haaaayyy.. Uy, ba't di ka na pumapasok sa 143 at EEE? Kaw talaga... Sa bagay, amazing ka naman. Kahit hindi ka pumasok pumapasa ka pa rin, 'di katulad ko na sobrang loser pagdating sa acads. Wahahahahahaha!!!! Magpahinga ka naman kahit konti. Masyado mong mahal ang org. Makakasama yan sa love life. Weh! God bless you so much!

17. Hahaha!!!! Sana marinig kitang kumanta nung kanta ni Timmy Cruz!! Wahahahaha!!! 'Di naman ako nagalit yesterday. It's just that I'm doing something and people started to butt in. Haaaayyyy... Thanks for being so nice to me. Makaka-graduate ka na rin. Mamimiss kita. Huhuhuhuhu!!!! Sorry if sometimes I hurt you a lot sa pang-aasar ko. Pero I know naman na you won't be moved sa mga sinasabi ng people around you. Natuwa ako sa story mo nung pumunta tayo sa Caliraya. Hahahahaha!!! Parang wala ka kasing problema lagi. Well, just continue that attitude para ma-inspire lagi ako. Gosh! kinakabahan ako sa EEE 1 exam. Wala pa akong alam for the 3rd exam. Lagi kasi akong late eh. Huhuhuhu... See you soon! 'Di ko pa pala nababayaran yung chocolate kahapon. Haha!

18. Musta naman si Catalino Rivero Jr.? Ilang notebooks na ba ang nagamit mo sa pagsulat sa name niya? Wahahahahaha!! Kaw talaga.. Pa'no na si _________? Haha! Wala akong maintindihan sa EEE. 'Di ko pa rin maintindihan yung diodes at transistors. At kumusta naman ang Boolean Algebra? Waaaaahhhh!!!! You know what? I miss our Bible studies together with best friend and _____. Sayang 'di na natin naituloy this sem. Iniwan n'yo na kasi ako eh. All of you will be ready for graduation na next sem. Haaaaayyyyy.... Sa'n ako pupulutin nito? God bless you!

19. I miss you so much! You've been so very busy these past few days. I just hope that you can still find time to enjoy with your friends. Sayang 'di ka nakasama last Wednesday. Anyway, sana hindi magbago yung password sa center dahil baka hindi na ulit ako makapag-WiFi ever. Wahahahahaha!! Sabi ni Jopi nagnanakaw lang daw ako ng bandwidth. Haha! See you soon!

20. Thanks for being so nice to me, for accepting who I really am. Thanks for sharing your stories nung nag-review tayo sa midterms ng math. Haha!!! Hindi tayo napigilan ni Chedeng at Dodong sa pagkukwentuhan. Sana bumalik sila. Wahahahaha!! Ang sarap makipagkwentuhan sa'yo! Tapos we share the same hurts pa when we were in high school. Haha! Mabuhay ang mag Valedictorian!!! Weh!! Thanks for teaching me to play backgammon on your phone kahit hindi ko talaga naintindihan. Hehe! Sana masagutan ko na yung Sudoku puzzle na pinasagutan mo. Waaaahhhh... Ang hirap talaga nun. Pero dapat madali lang yun. Hahaha!!! At sana naubos mo na yung Nagaraya na binigay ko! Kain ulit tayo sa Ersao one of these days.

It Doesn't Matter To Me Anymore

2007-08-31T12:03:00.000-07:00

It doesn't matter what other people thinks of me,
they might be thinking the right thing.
It doesn't matter if I lose my closest friends,
they might find other people to find enjoyment with.
It doesn't matter if I fail all my exams,
I've experienced the worst.
It doesn't matter if I don't graduate on time,
I might not be ready for the real life.
It doesn't matter if my friends don't invite me to a movie/hang-out,
I'm a loser anyway.
It doesn't matter if I lose my ministry,
I don't get the sense of doing it anymore.
It doesn't matter if I don't lead praise and worship,
I don't know how to sing in the first place.
It doesn't matter if I can't lead the campus movement,
I'm not a credible leader.
It doesn't matter if people don't care,
No one cares for me from the very start.
It doesn't matter if I'm all alone,
No one would want to spend time with me.
My life doesn't matter to me anymore,
It's not mine to own.

Increasing Entropy

2007-08-28T10:02:00.000-07:00

Entropy - A measure of disorder or randomness in a system. The 2nd law of thermodynamics states any spontaneous change is accompanied by an overall increase in entropy overall. For example, when water evaporates molecules are dispersed over greater distances resulting in an increase in entropy. (www.visionlearning.com/library/pop_glossary_term.php)

After reading the 'nosebleeding' definition of that where-did-it-came-from word, I hope that you are still on your normal mind. Anyway, If I am the system that is being defined there, I can say that right now, I'm in a state of increasing entropy. I'm having a hard time with my studies. I'm having a hard time dealing with people closest to my heart. I don't know what am I gonna do with my DG in CCC. I haven't been spending quality time with my family. My last major exam was a failure. I still have a grade of zero in our ME 186 probset (my professors fault actually). I'm losing my credibility as a Praise and Worship songleader in our church and in CCC. I don't understand why am I having a hard time sharing the Gospel to my freshmen friends. Is there anything more frustrating than these things?

I feel lonely these past few days. Aside from the fact that I really won't be able to graduate on time, I'm having a hard time dealing with more personal problems. And those problems really inflict pain in me whenever they cross my mind. I would spend more time alone in my room contemplating, thinking of ways how to deal with my struggles. The sad fact is, no one is willing to help me, not even my closest friends, not my Bible study group leader. It seems like I would be doing it all by myself now. I think God is teaching me to stand alone. Besides, I'm tired of asking people to help me. I'm tired of expecting them to really care. Well in fact, the opposite happens... that's why I'm tired.

Things change. Everything changes. I remember one text message from a friend saying that change is the only thing that is not permanent in this world. True isn't it? I think that's the thing that makes things difficult for me nowadays. Everything won't be the same again. The way I talk to people, the way I see the world, the way how I solve problems... they all have changed and I'm afraid... for the worse.

Out Of Focus... Because Of The Rain (warning: for mature minds only)

2007-08-18T16:08:00.000-07:00

It was so difficult for me to stay focused these past few days. I've been a bum since last Wedesday because of the super typhoons, which means I'm not doing anything fruitful with my studies and stuff. I would spend most of my time in my room reading my books as if I'm learning something or playing DOTA on my computer. But I go out once in a while even though it's raining too hard outside. I can't just lock myself up in my room.

I was reading my 'beloved' Powerplant Engineering textbook yesterday when Angelo (Gelo) texted me and asked where I am. He was in UP right at that moment and it was raining so hard. I can't remember having an appointment with him that day. But I still told him to wait for me there. He told me he was supposed to return a book at the Engineering Library but it was closed. So, I hurriedly ran to the bathroom, took a cold shower, wore the most comfortable t-shirt, jacket, pair of jeans and shoes and walk my way to the nearest jeepney terminal. The weather was really bad. It would be better off if you would just spend time in your room and sleep all day, and do nothing. But I still took the risk of meeting up with him despite the unpredictable weather.

The UP Main Library was open that day so he told me to meet him there. I saw him answering some math problems and he asked me some questions about it, how to answer it. But I wasn't able to give him nice answers. What do you expect from a 5th year college student who took that math subject almost 4 years ago? Gosh! I realized that I'm too old to be staying here in the university. By the way, Gelo is an ME freshman. I am one of the block handlers of their block. Basically I'm handling 33 ME freshies from different places in the country (but most of them are from Metro Manila). This is not my first time to meet with him. I've been having lunch with him and a few of his blockmates during the past weeks. During those times, I got to know him better. He was the silent type but he never says no to anything about acads and stuff (a typical freshie. =) ).

So we're at the library 'til 1pm and we decided to go somewhere to eat. From UP, we went to Jollibee Katipunan since it's the 'closest to our hearts.' We ate lunch there and talked about anything under the hiding sun. From high school life, to family life, to computer games, to food, to college life and the list goes on. He also taught me how to play Backgammon on his phone but in the end, I didn't understand everything he taught me about the game.We're having fun time with each other. We learn a lot form each other. We're pretty close with each other. So what's next?

Since the first time we met, I feel the burden of sharing God's Word to him as I was supposed to do. (Most of the people reading this might, at this moment, not understand what I'm saying. To those who understand my situation, please continue reading. To those who don't have a clue of what's this all about, you can stop here and choose to continue reading or PM me so I can explain everything to you. =) ). I want to tell him how God has been good to me and how He has given me overflowing grace. We share a lot of things in common. No doubt I was able to relate to him faster and easier. I can say that at this moment, I've built a relationship that is relevant to my life, my ministry. The problem is, I still have personal issues (matters of the heart) to deal with regarding my relationships.

So I was there sitting in front of him feeling silly. I keep on telling myself 'Go! Share! this might be the last chance that you can share to him! Bring out your weapon!' That thing keeps running in my mind all throughout our meeting. But I just don't know how to share it. Something's stopping me. Is it because of the rain? Or is there something I fear so much?
I've been experiencing a lot of emotional pains these past few days. That gave me a reason to stay out-of-focus. I don't know what's the point of what I'm doing. I forgot my purpose in life. Why am I doing all these things? It seems like I've been running around in circles and I don't know how to get out of that. I don't know what to prioritize things.

I don't know what's important. I put God out of my system and I do things on my own. I think this is the reason why I stay out of focus. I never long to spend more time with Him. I never long to know more about His Words. I never do anything for His glory. What am I doing with my life?
I don't have the answer to all my questions. I even don't know what to do for things to go the right way. I'm tired of playing games anymore. I'm hoping that one of these days, my desire of a more intimate relationship with my Almighty Father would come back. I think that's what I needed most.

Eto ako... Basang-basa Sa Ulan... Walang Masisilungan... Walang Malalapitan...

2007-07-11T12:59:00.000-07:00

Sobrang nakakafrustrate ang araw ko kahapon. After our GA, sobrang bumuhos ang ulan... Waaaaahhhhh... Most of my orgmates forgot to bring their own umbrellas kaya ayun... nagkandangloloko-loko na... I'm off to the student center for Stillwaters worship service after the meeting. We waited for like 15 or 20 minutes hoping for the rain to tone down a bit. But Jepoy and I can't wait for so long so we decided to take the risk. I shared my umbrella with him dahil wala siyang dala. Ayun... syempre lumalakas ang ulan at sobrang basa kaming dalawa. Not only that, I was wearing my new pair of shoes that time and I can feel the rain seeping through my socks... Shemsss... sabi ko na nga ba dapat hindi ko muna sinuot yung bago kong tapatot... Haaaayyy... Jepoy and I can't take the rain any more so we stopped by the UP main lib muna. Naghintay ulit kami ng mga 15 or 20 minutes pero ayaw talagang paawat ng ulan. Pasaway... (Parang kumakanta si Agwe ng Rain from the Broadway Musical Once on this Island..) Hindi na rin kami nakapaghintay ni Jepoy kaya sumugod na kami. So we're like soaking wet nung nasa loob na kami ng jeep papuntang Katipunan. And siyempre, nakalimutan ko na bumabaha pala sa entrance ng student center pag umuulan. So ayun, sumugod ako sa baha ng walang pag-aalinlangan and take note, suot ko ang bago kong sapatos... Waaaaaahhhhh... I wanna cry at that moment talaga nung na-feel ko na pumapasok yung tubig sa shoes ko. 'Di ko na naiisip na magtanggal ng shoes dahil sobrang lakas na nang ulan and I'm carrying a lot of things. Haaaayyyy... Kainis talaga... Kulang na lang kumanta ako ng 'eto ako... basang-basang basa sa ulan... walang masisilungan... walang malalapitan... Kaya ayun ang theme song ko kahapon. Nakuha ko pang mag-dinner with the Stillwaters people after the worship service. At nakita ko si Patrick Lubenia from MT-G sa McDo Katips. Then nag-photo-op kami dun.

Early this morning, I texted the ME freshies inviting them for lunch. But it seems like each of them has his/her own thing. Pero thank God dahil nag-confirm si Gelo na makakapunta daw siya. Si David din nag-text tapos ininvite niya rin sila Ariane and Carlo.
I was at the Beach House na by 12nn when I saw Gelo coming. Kwento kwento muna about life and everything. Then Ariane and Carlo arrived followed by Feb and Dominic. Ervian also came pero sandali lang. 'Di na nakahabol yung mga nagsabi na hahabol sila. Nandun kami sa beach house ng hanggang 3pm playing cards and kwentuhan to the max. Umalis kaagad si Feb and si Gelo kaya 5 na lang kaming natira. We decided to take a walk and go to the new Engineering Library. Nagkuwentuhan din kami dun hanggang 5pm, then we ate isaw. Yeba!!!! Hehehehe!!! Sobrang nag-enjoy ako ngayon kahit hindi ko nagawa ang mga dapat kong gawin. Hehehehe!!! Ang saya-saya!!! Parang naging freshie ulit ako dahil nakasama ko sila. Hehe!!! Thank God for the nice weather!!!!

When Disaster Strikes

2007-07-07T16:36:00.000-07:00

I really don't know what am I gonna write here. Disaster talaga 'pag nasa harap ako ng PC. I should be doing a research for my ME 186 paper pero ano ang ginagawa ko... hala sige.. friendster at you tube. Musta naman 'yun? Wahahahahaha... I was just wondering why the internet can't give me the information I need for my paper. Haaayy... Information Overload... I think it would be better for me to do 'manual' search na lang at the Eng'g Lib.

I should be having dinner with the Stillwaters pips last night but ate Flo and Dwight didn't text me. That's the only thing that I look forward to yesterday. It was Celso who told me that no one wants to have dinner and all people made their way back home. Hello? I mean it's a Friday... why is everyone so excited to go home? Well, it seems like I'm the only one who's not excited to go back home. Haaaayyy.. I wanna reward myself pa naman dahil katatapos lang ng exam ko last Wednesday and I really want to have a break. Masyado yata akong na-pressure sa studies.

How about my ME classmates? It's sad to say that I don't find time to bond with them anymore. The fact that I've been left behind for graduation hindered me from spending time with them. Most of them, kaklase ko lang sa isa or dalawang major subjects. I was one of those 'unlucky' people who didn't pass ME 186 last sem, so I have to take it again this sem. Those who passed that course last sem are taking ME 187 now, most of them are in that class. It hurts me a lot whenever I see them outside the classroom waiting for their 187 class (186 is scheduled right before 187).

'I should be there with them..' That's the thing that always comes to my mind every after my 186 class. I don't want to be seen by them getting out of that small cold room with younger people, people whom I'm not comfortable with. That's why I'm always trying my best to walk as fast as I could without them noticing me and get out of the ME dept. in no time. It hurts a lot din whenever they talk about their 187 class and do their assignments together in the library. Minsan I feel like I'm out-of-place when they talk about their power plant design proposals. Hay.. Basta yun... I seems like I need to learn to do things on my own from now on. I shouldn't be depending on them always. This is the real disaster...

The Sad Tale Of Gian

2007-07-02T03:10:00.001-07:00

Grabe!!!!!! Sobrang hirap ng ME 186 (Power Plant Engineering I).... I haven't finished solving the problem set. I think I need to review my ME 63 (Thermodynamics) first before I can answer the problems. But there's a bigger problem, my book is with Rai and she's in Korea right now. Waaaaaahhhhh!!!!!! Sobrang nakaka-frustrate na! To think that this is my second time to take this subject (got a grade of 5 from another prof last sem).

EEE 1 first exam is on Wednesday. I've been practicing solving problems since Saturday but I think I need to practice more. Then we've been given another assignment in ME 186. Well do 2 research presentations on the 19th. Take note, 2 presentations to be submitted on the same day. May mas hihirap pa ba dyan? Tapos we're required to propose some improvements daw dun sa report namin by giving our own equations. Thesis ba 'to? Balita ko walang thesis ang ME. Waaaaahhhhhh...... ME 186 is so demanding.

-To be continued...

High School Musical On Stage!!!! One Cool Show!!!!!

2007-06-29T19:25:00.000-07:00

Watched High School Musical at the Meralco Theatre last night. It was a Playshop night actually so most of the audience (that includes me) are Playshoppers. I wasn't really planning to watch because I just don't feel like it. And what do you expect... it's just the same story, same songs, same everything. Athena, who was a member of the cast (she was a skater), texted me yesterday afternoon telling that she still have 3 tickets for the show. The rest is history and I found myself meeting with her, all dressed up for the show, at the backstage of the theatre to get my ticket. She also gave me Kyla and Bien's tickets and asked me to give it to them.

I got back to the lobby to wait for Bien and Kyla and I was so surprised when I saw JR Enrile (my churchmate and brother-in-Christ) with Dani Tabuena. Ayun... kwento kwento.. He saw me daw walking at UP's Acad Oval early that afternoon tapos naninibago daw siya because I'm not wearing my glasses. Hahaha!!! Anyway, Another thing that surprised me is the fact that Jeff Tsai (another brother-in-Christ and my classmate in EEE 1) with his friends form the UP Navigators was also there.

The show went well naman. It's very different from the movie. What I like most about the show are the new songs and the additional scenes that made it funnier. My favorite musical numbers are 'Stick to the Status Quo', 'Getcha head in the game', 'Bop to the Top', and 'Cellular Fusion.' We got the chance to meet and greet our MTG friends Athena, Kevin, and Steph after the show. And they were so tired daw. Ayun!!! Picture Picture and konting kwentuhan. I hope to see it again some other time with Athena understudying for Sharpay. Go Athena!!!

Nang Itinanan Ako Ni Melvin At Ni Lowie

2007-06-14T23:28:00.000-07:00

June 12, 2007: FIRST DAY HIGH!!! First day of class. I thought everything is fine with my subjects. It came to my knowledge that Alex and Lea are still not giving up on their appeal to the ME department regarding the conflicts in our major subjects. So nagulo nanaman ang buhay ko... I was forced to cancel a 3 unit course for me to enlist 4 unit course. So yun... Haaaayyyy... Thank God dahil may slots pa sa EEE 1. I actually have 3 classes that day but our professors were still on vacation mode. In short, I have no class that day. And Praise God... I don't have Wednesday classes!!!

June 13, 2007: NANG TINANAN AKO NI MELVIN AT LOWIE!!! It's a free day for me. But I made use of my time to complete my enrollment. Anyway, we have CCC core meeting at the Student Center, Katipunan. I really didn't feel like attending the meeting because I have a lot of things in my mind. So we (they) planned for the movement theme this year and assigned different tasks to the leaders, including me. I was assigned to head the WIN Committee (the committee assigned in reaching out the university for God). I took the challenge to lead the said committee since they (I) consider me (myself) as an 'untapped' leader. The meeting ended at 7pm. Melvin texted me telling that they're at the first floor. So I hurried downstairs without them noticing me. They're too much busy with inside jobs and everything. Lowie was there sitting on the sofa when Melvin came out from the kitchen and hugged me so tight saying Bro, I missed you so much!!! Aaaaaawwwww... How sweet!?! Well, I missed him too. We haven't seen each other for 3 weeks. Then, he invited me, together with Lowie, to hang-out with him. I told them that I was so hungry so we hurried our way to McDo Katipunan. I just ordered fries and burger. Melvin was in a fast during that time so I just shared my fries with Lowie. So yun... kwento kwento... joke joke... drama drama... etc. etc. For the second part of our hang-out, we played DOTA at Blue Skies. Gosh!!! I haven't played DOTA for the longest time so I was kinda afraid that I might not do good in the game. But no! I think our game was the best so far! Astig!!! Hahahaha!!! Balik kaadikan nanaman 'to!!! Grabe!!! Melvin payed pala for our game. Thanks Melvs!! We you so much!!! We ended at 10pm. Lowie went his way back home to Pasig while Melvin and I took 2 jeepney rides from Katipunan to Philcoa. It was so much fun!!!! I just wonder why the people at the meeting didn't dare to find where I am... Seems like I've been forgotten. Oh well... at least I enjoyed the game. Hahahaha!
Caliraya! Here I come!!!!

Enrollment At The University Of Pila - Diliman (UP Diliman)

2007-06-05T19:10:00.000-07:00

This is it... Enrollment for the First Semester AY 2007-2008 has begun. Actually parang ayoko pang mag-enroll. Medyo nakakatamad pa kasi... Ahihihihi!!!!

7:30 AM: The bus ride to the MRT Magallanes Station was a bit longer than usual. I don't know why and it kept me wondering up to now since the traffic early this morning at SLEX is so light. Maybe I was just so enamored with Jars Of Clay as I listen to their songs. Well, I really don't know...

8:00 AM: Anyway, Jairus was there at the line when I came in the station. So malamang, nagsabay kami na sumakay sa MRT. I miss this guy so much because we use to have Bible Studies together when we were still 'kids', back when we are still in our sophomore days in UP. We've known each other for 3 years now. So yun.. kwento kwento about the summer and the enrollment and everything. Then we parted ways pagdating sa Eng'g.

8:30 AM - 10:00 AM: I was shocked when I saw the long lines at the ME dept. Gosh!!!! Ganito na ba karami ang ME students sa UP? Usually kasi hindi nagkakaroon ng mahabang lines dahil konti lang naman kami. I think the reason for this is the lack of faculty members who would pre-advise the students. Then I realized that my batchmates were not yet there so I was kinda 'scared.' I mean ako lang yata ang pinaka-matanda dun. Grabe!! 5th year na pala ako!!!! Thank God Kuya Ralph appeared from out-of-the-blue then Kuya Ronald came after. They are not my batchmates actually but at least may kilala na ako 'by heart.' Haha!!! Then Jeff and Alex came followed by Imay, Leah, Jayson, Andrew, Antony, Allan, and my best friend Neil. Grabe! Na-miss ko silang lahat!!! Well, it's good to be back!!!!

10:00 AM - 12:00 NN: Most of us are having problems on what major subjects to take this sem. We're supposed to get ME 183, ME 143, and ME 154 this sem because there is a great possibility that those subjects might not be offered next sem due to the same reason why there are long lines at the ME dept. Our big problem is that ME 143 and ME 183 has the same timeslot. Yikes!!! So we asked our dear professors if they can move ME 143 to another timeslot so we can get the two subjects. Our bigger problem is that most of the students enlisted in ME 143 are not willing to move it to another timeslot. Haayy nako... It seems like some of us woudn't be able to graduate on time, that includes me. We made petitions after petitions but nothing happened.

12:00 NN - 1:30 PM: Knowing that we can't do anything about it anymore, we've decided to take a break and have lunch. We decided to eat at the Shopping Center (SC) na lang since the college cafeteria is already full at that time. But the same thing goes at SC. Some of us didn't take lunch anymore and satisfied themselves by just drinking fruit shakes. Neil and I decided to eat somewhere else and we ended up at Lutong Kapit-Bahay (LKB). LKB is also jammed but thank God, we got a table for two. after eating, went back to SC to meet the others but they were none to be found. The two of us walked our way to the ME dept since we all decided to meet there after lunch. While walking, Neil was making kwento about how he spent the summer. He told me that most of his barkada (who are in a 4-year course) graduated already. There's only three of them in their barkada who are left in UP. Aaaaawwww.. I'm sure my bestfriend misses them so much. Haha!! Well, according to him, the good thing is that no one would ask him to make libre.

1:30 PM - 2:00 PM: We still have high hopes that our petition will be approved so we stayed at the department for a while. Pero napagod na rin kami sa kahihintay kaya umalis na lang kami.

2:00 PM: We got our form 5's and filled up the ESC and RegCom survey forms. It's good we don't need to pay PhP10.00 anymore for the Logscript (college newsletter). We all parted ways after getting our form 5's except me and Leah.

3:00 PM: Leah and I went to the CE department. She canceled her slot in her CE 22 class (because it's in conflict with one major subject) and Allan, who also happened to be there, got the slot Leah canceled. I also want to get a slot since there are no more conflicts with my schedule. So I got my name written on the enlistment priority form and waited for my name to be called. Since this would take at least 30 minutes for me to get a slot (well, that's life here in UP), I told Leah that she can leave me there since she's got a lot of things to do. I waited for 30 or 40 minutes and my name was called. Whew!!!! Praise God! I got a slot!

3:30 PM: Time to go home. Took an MRT ride to Ayala Station. Since I still have a lot of time, I managed to walk inside Glorietta and have a little sightseeing there. Before I board the bus to San Pedro at Park Square, I bought a waffle and an iced tea to satisfy my cravings. Hehe!! Got home at 5:30 PM. Tomorrow is another day of enrollment... another day of chances... another day of hopes... another day of dreams...

Overnight Cast Party

2007-05-31T01:14:00.000-07:00

Praise God for a very energetic showcase!!! MT-G rocked AFP!!! yeah!!! Pati mga sundalo sumuko! Hahaha!! We did a FANTASTIC show! Grabe! Hanggang ngayon na-ooverwhelm pa rin ako sa mga nangyari last Monday. Super fun yung show and the people who watched liked it so much. To those who watched, thank you from the bottom of our hearts! Your the greatest audience ever! And of course, who would forget our very creative, and intelligent director Tito Jaime del Mundo? You rock Tito Jaime!!! Thanks for all the things that you've taught us. We would treasure every word that you've said and we promise to hone our talents 'til our next showcase. Now we know what wa wa means. Haha!! We do hope to see you again next summer and do Miss Saigon, The Sequel! Hehe!!

Well, the sad part is Trumpets Playshop is over. Haaaayyy... We haven't got the chance to have dinner after the show because everyone needs to be with their families. Aaaaawwww.... Actually we have a cast party dapat yesterday pero 'di natuloy dahil maraming 'di pwede. So yun... Actually some of us are planning to have the overnight cast party this coming Friday pero mahirap maghanap ng bahay kung san pwedeng mag-overnight. And a lot of us are busy with some other things. We find it hard to plan kasi hindi magkasundo ang mga schedule namin. In the end, we've decided not to go with the overnight party at Maverick's house in White Plains. Sobrang bitin pa naman ang summer ngayon.. But some of us are planning to meet this coming Saturday for a bonding activity. Lunch na lang and movie kung hindi talaga pwede ang overnight. Haaaaayyy... We're planning din to got to EK then stay in a cheap hotel sa sembreak. Pero I doubt na makapunta lahat. Baka wala na rin sa momentum ang iba. Haaaayyyy...

As much as I want to enjoy the rest of the summer break, I can't dahil 'di na tuloy yung overnight cast party. Sobrang nakaka-frustrate. Haaaayyy... That's it for now! God bless you all!!!!

Summer Is Over... And So Is Playshop 2007 (Part 2)

2007-05-27T17:21:00.000-07:00

Just came from the TDR. But we're not able to finish running the show. At least we became comfortable with the stage during the run. So yun... I just realized that Playshop 2007 is going to end. Aaaawwww... I'll miss the tawanan and sayawan, and kulitan.
So guys, please watch our show tomorrow, 7pm at the AFP theatre. See you there!!! God Bless!!!

Summer Is Over... And So Is Playshop 2007 (Part 1)

2007-05-26T17:06:00.000-07:00

At last, summer classes are over. YAhooo.!!!! Praise God for a challenging yet awesome summer. And the rainy days are in. So sad I wasn't able to go to the beach this summer. I missed two family outings this summer just because of exams and Trumpets rehearsals. Thank God the Freshmen Orientation Program Committee is over na rin. Hay salamat!!! That activity really drained my energy and patience to the last drop.

We did two rehearsal runs of our show last Thursday. Tr. Jaime's friend, Ms. Menchu Lauchengco-Yulo (one of the endorsers of OLAY) was also there to watch our runs. Indeed, we had a fantastic 2nd run. Praise God! Tr. Jaime told us afterward that we can never go back, we can only get better on our next runs. We had our last 2 runs before TDR this morning at the Podium. We were there 2 hours before the mall actually opens to run the show twice. I was so tired after the rehearsals kanina. Tomorrow is our TDR at the AFP and Tr. Jaime told us that everything, especially the blocking, is going to change since we'll deal with a bigger stage.

So there... Hope you can watch our show on Monday!!! God Bless!!!

Fuf! Plush! (Pop! Flash!)

2007-05-08T23:43:00.000-07:00

Waaaahhhh... Don't know how to use Microsoft Office 2007!!! Ayun.. I need to save files pa naman from the FOPC yahoogroups. Haaaayyyy.... I'm so tired.. Sobrang inaantok ako kanina sa Envi Sci 1 class ko. Good it was a film showing lang. But I need to make a reaction about the film that we've watched. Kakatamad talaga. We have Machine Exercise kanina in our Computer Programming class. I woke up early this morning praying for it because the concepts are too difficult. And ang hirap nga ng machine exercise kanina. We're required to make a computer program that simulates an Electronic Ten-Pin Bowling Score Board. Yikes!!! I really don't know what am I gonna do with it. I keep on asking my seat mates on how to do it. Pero 'di ko pa rin magawa. So I just talked to God and said that I can't do it. It's like I'm anticipating the fact that I'm gonna fail that machine exercise. So I lifted it up to Him. Tapos biglang nag-brown-out! Yeah!! But no time for celebration yet. I'm not sure what will my prof do with our unfinished programs. A lot of us kasi failed to save our programs. So I don't know what God is planning to do. Pero I would love it if our prof will give us a new exercise tomorrow, preferably an easier one.

So much for ES 26. We rehearsed POP! FLASH! kanina sa Playshop. It was sooooooo tiring. That musical number is super demanding. We need to execute sharp movements kasi and at the same time, we need to sing properly. Tr. Jaime gave us some instructions while doing the choreo. Dun sa part namin ni Patrick, he told us to do our choreo 5 times straight. And dapat big and sharp yung movements. Because of that, sumakit mga binti ko... as in... Waaaahhhh.... Daig pa ang nag-jog ng 5 times sa Acad Oval on a nice Saturday morning. Ang hirap tuloy umakyat at bumaba sa MRT kanina. Haaaayyy... Ayun... But I enjoyed the rehearsals nonetheless. Weh... God Bless you all!!!

This Is What I Wanna Do For The Rest Of My Life

2007-04-20T22:10:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my mom for taking care of me during the weekend when I got sick. I feel very well now, actually since last Tuesday pa. Thanks to God for answering my prayers. I thought I won't make it to the workshop last Tuesday.

Yes! I was able to make it to Trumpets last Tuesday safe and sound. We started learning some songs from our musical. Teacher Jaime told us that by our next meeting, we should already have the cast for the musical but we haven't done any auditions yet. I was wondering what was going to happen. So we started learning the opening number (but I'm having a hard time because I still got colds) and everyone's just loving it. I was shocked when Teacher Jaime told us that he wants to hear each of us sing. So I was like "oh my gosh... patay..." It seems like my heart wants to leap out of my chest after hearing him say that. I was so scared at that moment. Though I know some of the songs, I'm still not confident enough. Kagagaling ko lang kasi sa sakit and my voice is not in it's normal state. So yun... Wala na 'kong nagawa. I just asked God to help and guide me.

He asked the guys one by one to sing "Eyes That Never Lie" with two guys singing at each round. The first part of the song is easier to sing than the second part. I was begging to the Lord to give me the first part. But no... Teacher Jaime gave me the second part. So I was singing like crazy. I'm having a hard time relaxing while singing and my body is trembling to the max. I did have a lot of flats and off keys. And the worst thing is that, I wasn't able to sing the last line properly because my voice cracked. Ayun... Teacher Jaime kinda gave me a disgruntled look after my lousy performance (you might even not call it a performance after all if you hear it). As in sobrang napahiya talaga ako. Haaay nako... I really want to "evaporate" at that very moment. My classmates gave a round of applause but it seems like they don't want to clap talaga. They just clapped just for the sake of clapping. You know... Haaayyy... Kainis talaga... Waaaahhhh... But the show must go on. We continue learning some songs. So it became like our auditions na. Though I really performed badly, it didn't stop me from singing my heart out. There are times that Teacher Jaime asks for volunteers to sing some songs. I say to myself: bahala na, mapahiya na kung mapapahiya. Basta I want to sing and give what I can give. So I tried to volunteer and found out that I can sing properly naman without the kaba. And believe it or not, I enjoyed doing it. So I volunteered for the second time and my performance became better. Parang nawala talaga yung kaba ko after realizing that I can sing properly. Grabe... It took a lot of guts on my part.

It was a great feeling telling them through singing that you can also do what they can. I got intimidated kasi after hearing each of them sing. Pero God was so good! I know that I won't be able get the role that I want anymore but I learned something. Singing also means letting go. Letting go of your fears, letting go of your worries, letting go of your insecurities, letting go of your feelings, letting go of your anxieties. You really won't be able to sing if you have these things in your heart. Singing is a way of telling people that this is who I am, this is what I want. I don't care whatever you will say but all I know is that I enjoy doing this. I simply enjoy singing!!! So Gian!!! Enough of your desire to be like the next 'Audie Gemora' or 'Robert Seña.' You can be just you. A person with a simple dream of singing for the Lord, 'til eternity.

Eyes That Never Lie

2007-04-15T14:40:00.000-07:00

I got sick over the weekend... What can I do? I won't be able to make it to the Stillwaters Core Leaders' meeting at the Student Center. Today is a Sunday and it just means one thing: I should get ready to go back to QC. The two-week summer break is over. I will once again be entering the prestigious halls of the country's premier State University. Naks!!!! This is gonna be my third summer class in UP(and I hope that this is the last). I already packed my bags earlier this morning while my family is out for church. I wasn't still feeling well when I woke up. So my mom decided to leave me in the house na lang. Gosh... I have tonsillitis pala and it bothers me so much. Kanina, I tried singing a song (Eyes That Never Lie) from our musical and I can't sing it properly. Grabe... I feel so frustrated after that. I need to get well before Tuesday because Sir Jaime told us that we're gonna learn some songs from the musical on our next workshop day. I really need to get well soon or else...

The Girl Who Was Plugged In

2007-04-13T00:45:00.000-07:00

Enrollment kanina sa UP. Ayun... There's this 'newer' and 'better' procedure for enrollment this summer. What??? Ano naman ang pinagbago? Actually , wala!!!! Pipila ka pa rin ng napakahaba. Imagine, pipila ka sa computer center just to enlist/cancel your subjects then you're the one who's also gonna print it. Haaaayyyy.... Nothing better about this new scheme. There are still a lot out there who's dying just to get a slot in the course that they want to take. Eto pa, you can never access the online enlistment site outside DILNET, which means that you really need to make pila at the computer center. Grabe!!! Sobrang hassle!!!

Well I think I'm more blessed. Got the chance to get the subject that I want through CRS. Wooohooo!!! Praise God!! All I need to do is to have my registration materials checked by the college and then have it assessed by the department secretary tapos ayun... tapos na! I think we really have no chance of getting ME 154 this summer. No one would teach us kasi. It's a good thing for me though. If our petition for ME 154 was approved by the department, I have no choice but cancel one of my enlisted subjects ('eto yung part na pipila ka sa computer center... Waaaahhhh!!!) and substitute ME 154. And I don't want that to happen. I really don't feel taking ME 154 this summer because it might spoil everything. Ayun... Vermont just texted me asking how many GE subjects are we required to take. Maybe he's gonna enlist a GE course na lang instead of ME 154. So wala na talagang ME 154. Astig!!! Praise God! Pero Jepoy's asking if Sir Ibañez can handle the ME 154 class this summer, kahit 5:30-7:00pm daw. Whaaaat??? I mean is that a joke? Who would want to take that class at that time huh huh huh? And I won't be able to attend that class because I have TRUMPETS at 5:30pm. Hay nako... Sana lang talaga 'di na ma-approve. And I think some of my classmates will take the summer internship instead.

We already have our script for the first part of our showcase in TRUMPETS. We read it with the musical numbers during our class. The title is THE GIRL WHO WAS PLUGGED IN. I still don't know what's the title of the second part. So parang we'll have two musicals in one. Astig!!! Before that, we have this workshop activity in which we were given 3 words and we'll use it to tell a story. Kevin, Cristine, and I were groupmates and our words are steam roller, intestine, and whale. Kevin's got all the idea. Basically, I just did the acting. So the story is that I'm swimming on a vast ocean then I saw a whale and it ate me. Then inside the whale, I realized that I'm in the intestines then I have this cellphone (waterproof maybe) in my pocket. I called for help and asked for a steam roller to come for me to be saved from the whale. Then I was saved. Yeah!!! We did those things using only our bodies and the 3 words we were given. Mind you, the whole class and Sir Jaime liked it so much. Haha!!! Praise God!!

God bless you!!!

The Longest Two Weeks Of My Life

2007-04-11T21:50:00.001-07:00

So yun… It’s like I’ve been out of reality for a while. Second sem didn’t end very well. Hay nako.. eto na naman ako… Medyo hindi maganda ang start ng summer break dahil sa ME 186. Pero keri lang.. Kaya yan… So how did I spend my two-week break? Know what? During the first day, I feel like I’m gonna get sick dito sa Laguna. I really miss UP and the people there. I keep on texting people saying I miss them so much. There’s nothing much to do here talaga. In UP kasi, you can walk around the campus, jog along the acad oval, lie down on the sunken garden, feel the fresh air, or just do nothing. Basically, you can do anything that your good heart wants to.

Here’s my daily routine here in our house: wake-up at 8am; eat breakfast ‘til 9am; go online ‘til probably 12nn; take a bath then lunch ‘til 1pm; watch LOST or any other movie ‘til 4pm; go online ulit ‘til 7pm; dinner ‘til 8pm; go online ‘til 11pm; take a shower then do quiet time (probably); then sleep at 12mn.

Ayun.. Boring ‘di ba? Haaay.. Well, I got used to it na rin after 3 or 4 days. I feel like I’m not a student anymore. I tried not to think of acads muna as it may spoil the summer break. Besides, I’ll be off to UP again in two weeks time. Well, I kinda enjoy what I’m doing here in our house since I don’t need to think of acads. And my niece is going to live here for a while. So we have a baby in our house. I enjoy playing with her and carrying her inside the house. She’s so cute… My heart melts whenever I see her smile. One thing’s for sure, I’m gonna miss my little niece so much pagbalik ko sa UP. Haaayyy… So yun… Parang andami nang nangyari after 5 days.

Tapos I have this Musical Theatre Workshop (again) at TRUMPETS. Ayun… Yesterday is our second workshop day. Mind you, it’s better than the first. Wohoooo!!! I think this is the largest musical theatre class I’ve ever attended in my entire ‘theater life.’ We are 27 all in all!!! Whoa!!! Imagine that. I enjoyed the workshop activities so much especially when we do it by pairs. We can have the chance to know our classmates better if we do it that way kasi. So our efforts paid off. I mean naging ice breaker yung mga activities na ginawa namin yesterday. Haha! And I would like to commend Kevin for good focus during the workshop. Haha!!! Got the chance to pair up with him twice. Haha!!! Kulit!!! We also read The Nativity and watched it on DVD. But before that, we have a little discussion about Shakespeare and some of his works. Grabe… Literature nanaman ‘to… Waaaahhhhh!!!! Anyway, we read an excerpt (Prologue) from Sir Jaime’s favorite Shakespearean play, Henry V. He managed to explain the story behind that excerpt. So nosebleed nanaman ‘to??? Waaaaahhhhhh!!!! Tapos ‘yun… We had a group activity in which we are to represent some parts/lines from that excerpt in 2 or 3 tableaus. Haha!!! We enjoyed doing our tableau and Sir Jaime shouted VERY GOOD!! after our presentation. Whoa!!! Astig!!! Imagine those two words coming from one of the musical theatre giants here in the country. Haha!!! Praises to God pa rin syempre!!!

Tomorrow is the start of the summer enrollment in UP. Jepoy took a survey through SMS asking us who we want to have as professor in ME 154 this summer. Haaayyy.. I really don’t want to take ME 154 muna this summer because it might spoil everything. I haven’t got the chance to talk to my classmates regarding this matter (and I really don’t wanna talk about it). So I’m gonna be back to UP on Monday for the first day of classes. Woohoooo!!!! Pero syempre, I’ll miss my stay here in Laguna. I’m gonna miss my family the most. Haaayyy… Enjoy the rest of the break!!! God Bless!!!!

Good Friday ('We're all about Broadway!')

2007-04-06T18:20:00.000-07:00

I stand to be corrected... Our teacher in MT-G is Mr. Jaime del Mundo, (not Ms. Sweet Plantado-Tiongson) the man who brought you Little Mermaid, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and Pendragon.

Last Tuesday, I was surprised when I entered the workshop room at The Podium. Seeing Mr. del Mundo distributing the ID's and my classmates who seem like they've known each other for so long send chills to my bones. I haven't been in an intermediate musical theatre class before and I feel like I'm the only one left out. I mean most of them have been in workshops together for 2 or 3 years. I know 1 person in that room. She was my classmate in Playshop 2005. But that fact still didn't make me comfortable enough to talk to them. I said to myself that I'm gonna have a hard time relating with them. 'Oh no!!! It's gonna be bad class for me!!!'

But you know what? I did have fun with these people though I haven't talked to most of them much. (It's the first day of the workshop, what do you expect?) Hearing their stories about their Playshop experience made me feel that I'm welcome. 'This is where I belong!' Thanks to those people (Kevin, Athena, and Jiggs) who first approached me and introduce themselves. I remember Athena and Kevin so well because I saw them perform in Wicked last year. I've got the chance to talk with Jiggs. Thanks to Kevin for breaking the ice between us. It's not a bad class after all!

We had a little discussion about the history of musical theatre and we also watched a documentary and some live Broadway performances. Sir Jaime told us in the end that we're all about Broadway and we have to let the things that we've learned that day to sink deep within us. We haven't done any workshops yet but I can sense that this is gonna be a great Playshop experience for me!!!

Holy Monday

2007-04-02T16:23:00.000-07:00

PRAISE GOD!!! I passed ME 153!!! Hahaha!!!!

TRUMPETS will start tomorrow. Kinda nervous because I haven't prepared well for my song talaga. And mind you, I heard that my teacher is going to be Sweet Plantado-Tiongson of The Company. She's also one of the teachers in Pinoy Dream Academy. Nakakakaba!!!! Please do pray for me guys! And by the way, I'm gonna sing Stars from Les Miserables.

I'm missing my friends so much. Waaaahhhhh.... Still need to endure two weeks of boredom here in our Laguna house. Haaaaayyyy.... Miss ko na sila Dwight, Laila, Kuya Ju, Rai, Eki, Ate Flo, Melvin, Kuya Dennis, Emman, Celso, Paulo, Ken, Joseph, Benj, JM, Revin, Lester, Kuya Oey, Bestfriend Neil, Leah, Imay, Kalay TA, Stillwaters people, CCC people, PSME people, and Enggsoc people. Basically, I'm missing everyone. :-(

Hope to see you soon guys!!!!

Have a blessed Holy Week!!!

I'm A Superhero!

2007-04-02T16:00:00.001-07:00

Your results:
You are Venom

Venom		72%
Apocalypse		66%
Mystique		64%
Magneto		62%
Riddler		61%
Mr. Freeze		60%
The Joker		49%
Dark Phoenix		47%
Catwoman		47%
Dr. Doom		46%
Poison Ivy		42%
Two-Face		40%
Lex Luthor		36%
Green Goblin		32%
Juggernaut		28%
Kingpin		21%

Strength, disguise and adrenaline are your greatest weapons.

Click here to take the "Which Super Villain are you?" quiz...